Grian: It's not like I try to blow things up, exactly. It just sort of happens. You've got to admit though, fire is fascinating.
[----------]
Gem, holding an antique bottle: Is this whiskey or perfume?
Etho: *grabs and chugs the entire bottle*
Etho:
Etho: It's perfume.
[----------]
Joel: Scar... Why did you draw a pentagram on the floor?
Scar: Your text told me to satanize the house before you returned.
Joel:
Joel: I wrote sanitize, Scar.
[----------]
Impulse: Show me Pennsylvania.
Bdubs: I don't know Canadian geography.
[----------]
Scott: The odds of this happening by coincidence are vanishingly small.
Gem: I would say infinitesimally.
Impulse: And I'd say teenily-weenily. We all know words.
[----------]
Martyn: Damn, the power went out.
Pearl: Don't worry, I got this.
Pearl: *shakes rapidly and starts to light up*
Martyn: What-?
Pearl: I swallowed a glow stick!
Martyn, on the verge of tears: WHY WOULD YOU-
[----------]
Scott: Martyn! This soup is flaccid!
Martyn: LITERALLY WHAT THE FUCK DOES THIS MEAN?!
[----------]
Scott: And here we see Pearl and Cleo in their natural habitat. Texting eachother variations of the word "garlic bread" to try to make eachother laugh.
Pearl: Gaelic bread.
Cleo: Grueling brad.
Pearl: Ha ha, glamorous beans.
[----------]
Impulse: Sometimes I drink milk straight from the container.
Jimmy: The cow??
Impulse: What?
Mumbo: Jimmy, W H Y?
[----------]
Lizzie: Be kind. Everyone is fighting their own battles.
Joel: Why would I be kind? I will be brutal and relentless and ride into battle by their side!
[----------]
Pearl: What are your three best qualities?
Scar: I'm hot, I have soft hair, and sometimes I cry because I love my friends.
[----------]
Big B: I think I just figured something out. I got to go.
Ren: Aren't you forgetting something?
Big B: Uuh...*hesitantly kisses Ren's forehead before running out.*
Ren: No, pay your bill! Damn, who raised you?
[----------]
Etho: What can therapy do for me that screaming in my car for 30 minutes can't?
[----------]
Scar: "I lost a bet."
Scar: The second-most ominous phrase in existence.
Bdubs: What's the first?
Scar: "Let's make a bet."
[----------]
Lizzie: Hey, what's the name of the guy who lives down the hall?
Gem: His cats' names are Walter and Rose.
Lizzie: That's not what I asked.
Gem: That is all the information I have.
YOU ARE READING
The Life Series Oneshots
FanfictionWelcome to a series of Life Series Oneshots! Started - 02/11/24 Ended - 08/31/24 I only ship the Minecraft personas. Not their real life selves. I do NOT write smut. There will be trigger warnings on any of the chapters if needed. This is my first e...
