The Life Series Oneshots

{Incorrect Quotes 10!}

Link: https://perchance.org/incorrect-quote-generator

Ren: Truth or dare?
Martyn: Truth.
Ren: How many hours have you slept this week?
Martyn:
Martyn: Dare.
Ren: Go to sleep.
Martyn: I don't like this game.

[----------]

Lizzie: Gem, you were so wasted last night.
Gem: I wasn't that drunk!
Lizzie: ...You called a taxi home.
Gem: Yeah! It's called being responsible!
Lizzie: The party was at your house.
Gem: ...Crap.

[----------]

Pearl: Hey, wanna help me commit arson?
Cleo: What the hell!?
Pearl: Oh, sorry, my bad.
Pearl, whispering: Wanna help me commit arson?
Cleo, whispering: Of course. What do you need?

[----------]

Scar: Being gay is a constant battle between "I wish to sit on a window bench with my lover, our legs tangling as we listen to the birds" and "Hey, let's go throw rocks at fascists" and I think that's very sexy of us.
Grian: If the window's open and you time it right, you can do both.

[-----------]

Skizz: I told Etho that their ears turn red when they lie.
Tango: Do they?
Skizz: No.
Tango: Then why did you tell them that?
Skizz: Because I can do this.
Skizz: Hey Etho! Do you love us?
Etho, with their hands over their ears: No.

[-----------]

Tango: Oh god, they texted you 'hi.'' punctuation only means one thing, Skizz. They're mad at you.
Skizz: No, it's Bdubs. They're just being gramatically correct!
*meanwhile*
Bdubs: And then I used a period so they'd know that I'm mad at them.
Etho: A period doesn't say 'I'm mad', it says 'you're dead to me'.
Bdubs: I stand by my choice.

[----------]

Etho: Is the pink panther a lion?
Skizz: Say that again but slower.
Etho: I don't get it.
Skizz: He's a PANTHER.
Etho: Is that a type of lion?
Skizz: No, it's a fucking panther.
Etho: *googles panther* They aren't pink?
Skizz: AND LIONS ARE?!

[----------]

Etho, to Skizz: One universe, nine planets, seven seas, seven continents, and I had the unfortunate luck of meeting you.
Tango: Hey, that's not very nice-
Skizz: There are only eight planets, you uncultured swine!
Tango, forgetting about Etho: VIVA LA PLUTO, FUCK YOU!

[----------]

Impulse: I'll be famous one day, but for now I'm stuck in this house with a bunch of morons.

[----------]

Martyn: I haven't slept in 72 hours...
Jimmy: I haven't slept in 80. I'm the insomnia king!
Grian: Ha! I haven't slept in 90 hours, I'm aiming for an even 100.
Mumbo: What the fuck is wrong with you people.

[-----------]

Big B: *looks over Ren's shoulder at their laptop* What the fuck?
Ren: *slams screen shut* It's just research! For something I'm writing about! I swear that's it!
Big B: Why the hell would that involve the breeding habits of frogs?
Ren: It's not just "frogs", it's the Surinam Toad. And it's not "breeding habits", it's how they raise their young. This is important information my audience needs to know!
Big B: That doesn't change the fact this is for one line in a fanfiction.
Ren, offendedly: You don't know that!
Big B: I hear no denial.