The Life Series Oneshots

{Incorrect Quotes 13!}

Hello, I'm back!

(It's raining so heavily where I live rn and there's a mini lake in the middle of my street lol)
Anyway, incorrect quotes! *throws and runs away like a gremlin*

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Joel: You know, on second thought, Gum would be perfection.
Etho: *Gives them a strange look and hands them a piece of gum*
Joel: *Thinking* Gum would be perfection. Gum would be perfection. I could have said gum would be nice, could have said I'll have a stick. But no no no no no, for me, gum is perfection. I loathe myself.

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Grian: Can I go to the pool?
Scar: Sure, we'll go as soon as I'm free.
Grian: No, can I go by myself?
Scar: You don't want to go with me?
Grian: You just go around challenging random people to cannonball contests.
Scar: It's the only way to establish dominance.

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Lizzie: Lol. Heads up if you try to make a candle with food coloring, the food coloring will just sink to the bottom of the glass, and when the flame eventually reaches the bottom all the food coloring will catch fire and become one giant tall flame that you cannot possibly blow out and the glass will start to crack and then you'll throw your tea on it in a panic and then the extremely hot food coloring will boil and sizzle horribly and then the glass will shatter. Please take my word on this.
Joel: What did you do Lizzie?
Lizzie: A Mistake.

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Pearl: If you get in trouble, I'm gonna be like... a lawyer to you. Ok?
Scott: Okay.
*later*
Martyn: Scott! Sit down on the chair, you're in trouble.
Pearl, whispering: Deny everything.
Scott, loudly: That isn't a chair.

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Scott: I never said I was gonna get back together with them. But I was thinking, they're in town, would it be the worst thing in the world if I gave them a call?
Cleo: No. No, Scott, it wouldn't be the worst thing in the world. It would be the fourth worst thing. Number one: a super volcano. Number two: an asteroid hits the Earth. Number three: All the Evel Knievel movies are lost. Number four: Scott calls Pearl. Number five: Martyn gets eaten by a shark.
Martyn: I'm Martyn, and I approve the order of that list.

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Mumbo: I love being right. It's one of my favorite personality traits.

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Skizz: Tango, I have a great idea.
Tango: Let's hear it.
Skizz: We trick Etho and Bdubs to go out on a date together.
Tango: YES!
Tango: And hey, if that doesn't work out, maybe you and me could go out, get some drinks—
Skizz, hitting them with a book: THIS IS NOT ABOUT YOU.

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Tango: Subs are so fun to play with. All you have to do is hint at what you might do, back them into a corner with a look, or grab their wrist in a certain way and they're a wide-eyed mess.
Skizz: What the fuck kind of Subway are you going to?
Bdubs: Substitute teachers deal with so much shit.
Etho: Guys.

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Impulse: What do we say when making bread?
Etho, glumly: That's the dough rising.
Impulse: And what do we NOT say?
Skizz, sadly: That's the yeast fucking.