FE!N FE!N FE!N <---- I may have a slight obsession with that song right now-
[----------]
Cleo: You have Crayons?
Scott: Yes, I have—
Cleo: You're— how old are you?
Scott: YES I AM AN ADULT AND I HAVE CRAYONS, I HAVE A BOX OF EMERGENCY CRAYONS IN THE CABINET UNDER THE TV BECAUSE EVERYBODY NEEDS CRAYONS SOMETIMES, OKAY? EVERYBODY NEEDS CRAYONS.
[----------]
*At the police station*
Martyn: Hi, I'm here for Pearl.
Police officer: Who's Pearl?
Martyn: Ah, you must be new.
[----------]
Lizzie: When I said bring me something back from the beach I meant like a conch shell!
Joel: *Struggling to hold a seagull* Fucking say that next time!
[----------]
Joel: Did you win? Or just not die?
Joel: Either way, hooray.
Etho: ...Is "no" a valid answer?
Joel: The hooray is redacted and you frighten me.
[----------]
Grian: I'm trash.
Scar: As someone who's environmentally conscious, it's my duty to pick you up. Does 7 work for you?
Grian:
Grian: You smooth motherfucker.
Grian: And yes it does.
[----------]
Bdubs, putting their hands over Impulse's eyes: Guess who!
Impulse: It's either Bdubs or the cold, clammy hands of death.
Bdubs, putting their hands away: It's Bdubs!
Impulse: Dammit.
[----------]
Tango: I printed up a bunch of fake safety inspection certificates. Go slap one on anything that looks like a lawsuit.
Skizz: Tango, is that legal?
Tango: When the cops aren't around, anything's legal!
[----------]
Etho: Is the pink panther a lion?
Bdubs: Say that again but slower.
Etho: I don't get it.
Bdubs: He's a PANTHER.
Etho: Is that a type of lion?
Bdubs: No, it's a fucking panther.
Etho: *googles panther* They aren't pink?
Bdubs: AND LIONS ARE?!
[----------]
*The gang is about to do something dangerous*
Tango: Shouldn't someone give a pep talk?
Etho: Go ahead.
Tango: Be careful.
Tango: Don't die.
Skizz: *Holds back a laugh*
Etho: Great. We're all bloody inspired.
[----------]
Etho: Hi could I ask how exactly does one accidentally set a lemon on fire?
Skizz: Microwave for 40 minutes.
Impulse: WHY WERE YOU MICROWAVING A LEMON?!
Skizz: I read boiling lemons helps cover up bad smells and I wanted to cover up the scent of burnt oranges, but I didn't own any pots...
Tango: Did you burn an orange too? HOW?!
Skizz: Microwave for 40 minutes.
[----------]
Scar, to Bdubs: Look at you! All cute and small! I could just eat you up!
Bdubs: *proceeds to kick them in the shin and run away*
Cleo, walking past: Rule number 1, don't call Bdubs cute or small.
[----------]
Grian: You know, when I first met you I thought you were a real bitch.
Joel: What changed your mind?
Grian: Oh, I still think you're a bitch. I've just grown to like that about you.
YOU ARE READING
The Life Series Oneshots
FanfictionWelcome to a series of Life Series Oneshots! Started - 02/11/24 Ended - 08/31/24 I only ship the Minecraft personas. Not their real life selves. I do NOT write smut. There will be trigger warnings on any of the chapters if needed. This is my first e...
