The Life Series Oneshots

{Incorrect Quotes 17!}

I don't know what to write anymore, and I leave tomorrow/today (depends on when I get this finished). So here, another batch of incorrect quotes coming right up!
Authors note: It's June 27th as I write this, and I have written a record 6 (including this one) chapters today- I mean I did have a half day but that surprises me-
Link: https://perchance.org/incorrect-quote-generator

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Scar: *hiding something in their coat* I think we should adopt another kid!
Grian: No.
Scar: Why not?
Grian: Because when you say "kid", you mean "cat", and we already have fifteen of those.
Scar: *unzips coat* Sixteen.

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Martyn: Vegetable oil is made from vegetables, coconut oil is made from coconuts, so BABY OIL-
Mumbo: CAN'T WE JUST HAVE A NICE FAMILY DINNER FOR ONCE?!

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Etho: I'm in love with you.
Joel: We called off the prank war last night at midnight, dork.
Etho: I know.
Joel: Ah. Okay. Um. Cool. Neat. Very cool. Cool. Cool. Coolcoolcool-

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Lizzie: This is a safety pin.
*cuts off end*
Lizzie: It is now a danger pin.

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Joel: Fuck capitalism. It's a rigged system that keeps us poor and it isn't fair. You shouldn't need to work three jobs to afford basic necessities.
Joel, playing Monopoly: Sorry, if you wanted to win you should have tried not being poor.

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Ren: "Go hang a salami" backwards is "I'm a lasagna hog".
Martyn: How did either of those sentences occur naturally for you to discover this?

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Impulse, trying to impress Skizz: I re-initialized the entire command structure, retaining all programmed abilities but deleting the supplementary preference architecture.
Etho: They turned it off and back on again.

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Etho: Welcome to my room. As you can see, I've knocked over many chairs because I get so tilted at the towers.
Tango: Uh, this isn't really tilted. Or a tower.
Etho: Well you see, it's a gamer pad. Not many girls come in here because I get friendzoned so frequently. But that's okay.
Tango: I'd like to be in the Friendzone! I like friends!
Etho: It's not as pleasant as you think. They don't treat you like a friend. They treat you like an item. Sometimes I wish I could be more than just an accessory to these women; But unfortunately, as a gamer, I don't get respect.
Tango: I'm not a gamer! so maybe they'll respect me!
Etho: That just makes you a beta cuck.

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Skizz: Hey, what are you reading?
Impulse: This is my magic book where any ink spilled shows a scripture of the future, however it bears a curse making it broken, and as such in order to make any scripture appears, I have to do it myself.
Skizz: Impressive! I must have it for myself!
Tango: So it's just a Notebook?
Impulse: It's just a Notebook.

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Bdubs, to Scar: You have room temperature IQ.
Scar: What's room temperature IQ?
Cleo: 73°.
Scar: Oh, okay.
Scar: How much is that in IQ?