Logan's Version

LV 4 (scene 7) - Against Sure Odds

The screen is black...
Logan: (announcing) This sorta special scene of Logan's Version is being filmed in front of a live studio audience. Or so, I think. I don't know.
Tracy: Oh my God! Logan, those are my lines [laugh
Logan: That's for taking my Rich Friend line.
Danny: Miss Tracy, a famous queen once said, "let it go."
Jesse:Telling Miss Tracy to let it go is like asking you not to explode the kitchen again.
Danny: You forget to turn the gas on one time, and they think you're suddenly careless.
Kelsea: Honey, it's the suddenness that's the problem
Danny: (exhales) Fine. If it bothers you so much, then I'll turn off the fireworks so they don't explode [slight footsteps]
Everyone: (almost immediately) NOOOO!!! [laugh track]

Later...
The random theme song plays as the Hilson household exterior is revealed. The interior is shown where we see Logan, Camillo, Tracy, and Madison playing a random card game.
Tracy: This random card game is boring. We need to spice things up.
Camillo: Yeah! We turn up the heat! (hesitates) Wait. Danny isn't listening to us, is he? [brief laugh track]
Jesse: (comes out of the kitchen carrying a tray of cookies) Don't worry. You're absolutely safe from Danny's fireworks. (He drops the tray on the centre table) Now, how do these cookies taste? I need everyone's honest opinions. (turns to Logan with a grin) Mr Liam? [laugh track]
Logan: (confused) Uhh? (looks around) Help? [brief laugh track]
Madison: Don't look at us, senor. Give your son what he wants
Logan: I wish I could, but (exhales deeply) honey, I'm a better, terrible cook than you. (The tray reveals badly burnt cookies) [laugh track] You don't leave cookies on fire for longer than 30 minutes.
Jesse: Man, I forgot Danny's methods were different in every aspect.
Camillo: And this is the guy who wants to marry my daughter?
Logan: I don't know about that, but this guy is your boss. Watch it [laugh track]
Jesse: (shrugs) I'm going to ask Danny and Kelsea for help with the cookies. And now that I hear it, I'll only talk to Kelsea.
Kelsea: (walks in) Don't bother. I've to save Danny from a bumper car that's about to detonate. It's 2017 all over again [laugh track]. Oh, dark chocolate cookie (Kelsea grabs a cookie from the table and chews, but she quickly grimaces at the way it tastes). Who asked you to make this?
Everyone: Danny!
Kelsea: We should have talked to Davenport when we had the chance [another laugh track] (Jesse and Kelsea leave the adults to continue playing their games)
Camillo: My money is on Jesse. He's going to be taught by both Kelsea and Danny and still bake the cakes terribly.
Tracy: Actually, I think Danny will not get into any more trouble for the rest of today. My money's on that.
Madison: I don't know. Betting on a group of teens always ends in disaster.
Logan: Madison's right. For the rest of them. Because Jesse is going to be the best, terrible chef you'll ever meet.
Madison: And my money is on the fact that y'all will fail terribly.
Camillo: Whoever wins each bet will have to collect the other's money. The final winner uses the money for whatever he/she wants, and no one has to complain.
Everyone: Deal.
Kelsea: (walks in with Jesse and Danny, who has a band-aid on his head) Hello, everyone. We're back.
Logan: I thought you went to the amusement park a few streets away.
Jesse: No, Danny tried to stow away with a 7 year old's toy bumper car because he thought it was free.
Tracy: Wow. I hope the 7 year old understood it was a mistake.
Amber: (walks in angrily, holding a steering wheel) No one in their right senses will wish it was a mistake [laugh track]
Camillo: (takes Tracy's 5 dollars from her) And I'll take that [another laugh track]...

Amber, Kelsea, and Jesse are being watched by Logan, Tracy, Camillo, and Madison in the most stealthy way possible. The three children are trying out a new recipe, and while Kelsea isn't in the living room, Amber and Jesse are.
Jesse: (turns sideways to see Logan directly staring at him - literally) [brief laugh track] Mr Liam, what are you doing?
Logan: I'm cherishing this teacher student moments. I mean, it's days like this that make me feel -
Amber: (singsongy) [She quotes, "You make me feel" by Cobra Starship & Sabi] La la la la la (The others stare at her with confused looks). Come on, I wasn't born then. But I know a good song when I hear it [brief laugh track]
Logan: (shrugs) She's not wrong, though [another laugh track]
Amber: But Mr Logan, why are you all watching us like that?
Tracy: (going through a magazine) Logan placed a bet on Jesse, and despite my warnings, they all want to get along with it.
Madison: Tracy, I gave the warnings.
Camillo: That's not exactly how anyone here remembers it [brief laugh track].
Tracy: Jesse, no pressure, but you need to make something good so that Logan wins the money that I'll have to borrow from him later [brief laugh track]
Jesse: Isn't betting ... wrong? Especially when you're betting on a bunch of peaceful children?
Amber: Tell me Danny isn't included under the category of "peaceful" [laugh track]
Kelsea: (comes out of the kitchen with a tray of freshly made cookies. This time, they're a clearer brown colour) Jesse's baked cookies are ready! (She sets them on the table)
Madison: Jesse, if these ones are great,then you can work with me at the food truck after school. (She takes one cookie and bites a piece. She quickly grimaces) I change my mind! Tell Danny to send his resume [laugh track]
Logan: Madison, they're not that bad. (He takes the cookie she just bit off and bites off a piece. He swallows painfully and comes to a startling realisation) After all that I taught you? [brief laugh track] (He turns to a smug Camillo) Camillo, I order you to withdraw the bet.
Camillo: (scoffs) Mr Logan, with all the respect in the world, stop bossing me around.
Logan: (with a slightly calm, yet irritated tone) I am literally YOUR BOSS [another laugh track]

Some time later...
Camillo and Madison are gazing at Kelsea, Jesse, and Amber, who are thoughtfully playing a game of chess [brief laugh track]. Tracy and Logan walk in, confusion and surprise written all over their faces.
Logan: I'm starting to realize that Madison was right about this betting thing. Even the kids joined in.
Tracy: Logan, there's no money on the table. There is nothing to be worried about.
Kelsea: (randomly brings out a suitcase. They start talking with hip hop accent) I've got 20 million Monopoly bucks in cash! What do you got, pretty boy? [laugh track]
Jesse: I got 50 of them, homie. And not just 50. I mean 50 and 50 and 20 of 'em million. (shrugs) What are you going to do about it?
Amber: (comically raises her hand) I call the shots!
Tracy: OK, I think we've listened to enough West Side Bronx slangs for today. You've washed off the fun of it [brief laugh track]. Camillo? Madison? This bet is over! No one wins!
Madison: Technically, I win. Cause I proved my point. (She snatches the money from Camillo's hand and grins) And thanks to y'all, I'll use this money for my food truck business.
Tracy: You didn't even like the betting idea in the first place.
Logan: Why are you thanking us?
Madison: If either of you won, you would have started fighting over it. Isn't that right? (She turns to Jesse with a silly grin) Jesse?
Jesse: (worried that Madison might be getting him in trouble with Logan without realizing it) Umm? (turns to Logan) Dad? [laugh track]
Tracy: (groans) Ugh, Madison! They're literally the definition of like dad, like son [another laugh track]. Come on, Madison. I told you the betting thing was a mistake. Let's go fix the food truck.
Madison: (confused) I'm the one who figured out the mistake.
Tracy: Maddie, we know that's a lie [brief laugh track]. (The two ladies leave the house. Camillo stands up to leave as well)
Camillo: I might have lost money, but I've learnt it's very important to never bet or gamble on anything. I don't want to call names, but Jesse, I don't think Vivian would approve.
Jesse: You also gambled, Mr Ruiz.
Camillo: We're adults. It's legal [laugh track]
Logan: What? Camillo?! [another laugh track] (turns to the camera) Gambling in all sorts and aspects is very wrong and misleading.
Amber: Mr Logan, we're right here.
Logan: Yeah, sorry about that. Ooh! Money! I need to borrow some. (He takes some cash from Kelsea's suitcase and goes outside, counting the money)
Kelsea: Oh, no, I don't think -
Jesse: (cuts in) No, Kelsea. (pauses) Let him cook [final laugh track]