Logan's Version

LV 5 (scene 7) - Sitter Sketch

The scene opens with Logan packing up the dishes in the kitchen when Danny approaches him.
Danny: Mr. Logan? Listen -
Logan: (cuts in) Let me guess, you have something important to tell me.
Danny: How did you know?
Logan: (carrying a bowl of water) Because for the past one week, you've had one big news for each and every one of us. Surprisingly, the news isn't always worth it.
Danny: Jesse's babysitting this weekend.
Logan: (impressed) That's actually news worthy. Who's he babysitting?
Danny: My brother.
Logan: (briefly horrified) Oh, no! [brief laugh track]
Danny: You're just briefly horrified. Wait till you learn Jesse's babysitting Harrison in your house.
Logan: MY WHAT?! (He bumps into Tracy and pours the water all over her green blouse. She has an irritated look on her face, while Logan and Danny stare in horror) [laugh track]
Tracy: It's a big house. How don't you watch where you're going?! [brief laugh track]
Logan: Blame Danny. He just gave me shocking news.
Tracy: What's so shocking that made you spill soup all over my movie outfit? (Just then, Jesse walks into the living room with Danny's younger brother, who's about 11 years old)
Jesse: Mr. Liam? Miss Tracy? I have something to tell you, people, and I don't want you to freak out. (Logan and Tracy run out of the kitchen yelling randomly [laugh track]. They stop briefly, sight Jesse and Harrison, and start screaming again. They run around the living room again before running to their separate rooms. Jesse turns to Danny, who's eating from a soup bowl). Dude, what were you thinking? I told you not to tell them yet.
Danny: You told me not to tell them yet. What were YOU thinking?! [laugh track]
Harrison: (to Jesse) Oh, yeah. This is totally your fault [another laugh track]
Logan: (calmly walks out) Jesse, we talked about this just yesterday. I don't like surprises!
Jesse: Even if their children?
Tracy: Especially if they're children!
Logan: There's a reason we're told, "I ain't raising no babies!!" [heavy laugh track]
Tracy: Once again, no one likes children coming as a surprise.
Danny: Tell that to Rudra and his sister [another laugh track]

After some time...
Jesse: What do you like to do for fun that doesn't involve flying and breaking stuff?
Harrison: We can do cosplay acting!
Jesse: Perfect! What kind of cosplay? Superhero? Detective? (Just then, Kelsea walks in through the front door. She's returning from a movie shoot, but she's also in a hurry to do something and leave)
Harrison: Mamacita! [brief laugh track] (He pretends to have a dizzy spell) Oh, Nurse Kelsea! I've been feeling sick lately and I need you to take care of me! (Kelsea and Jesse are evidently disgusted)
Jesse: Harry, what is wrong with you?!
Kelsea: I just had to fake clap when my fake parents had a kissing scene, and I come over to this?! Where did you learn that from?!
Danny: (on a phone call as he's leaving the dining table and going to the kitchen. He's talking with a suave tone) Babe, come on over. I need you right now. I have needs, you know, and you can take care of them [laugh track]
Kelsea: Wow, I shouldn't have asked that in the first place. Bye, y'all! (She leaves the house immediately. Jesse turns to face Harry, a stern look on his face)
Harrison: Come on. Look at her!
Jesse: I mean, children are generally truthful before 13, so I agree [brief laugh track]. Now, do you have a better idea?
Harrison: Hmmm...

A little while later, at the dining table...
Harrison: (wearing a black lawyer's gown) Your honour, my client's pants aren't on fire. Therefore, he's not a liar and is conclusively innocent.
Rudra: (at the end of the table, dressed as a judge, but instead of the traditional wig, he's wearing a short, blonde one) How did I get involved in this?
Jesse: (walks in with a pack of cookies) Dude, we all know blond is not a good colour on me. Now, keep acting. Daddy needs some me time [brief laugh track]
Rudra: What kind of client is not bothered that his lawyer is a metal head?
Jesse: The type who's friends with the rocket brother of a metal head [brief laugh track]
Harrison: (annoyed) Do y'all mind?! I'm trying to convince the judge that you're innocent. I mean, let's be honest, if he had tasted that soup, he would know the chicken was supposed to be cooked [laugh track]
Rudra: Sweet Jesus [another laugh track]
Jesse: Wow, babysitting is so easy.
Harrison: (rolls eyes at the impudence of his client) Loser. (He walks to Jesse and smacks down the pack of cookies. He sneers at him). Uh, oh, [brief laugh track]. (Harrison walks off to the kitchen in anger. Rudra turns to look at Jesse)
Rudra: If it helps, I don't have to jail you for the stolen chicken.