Logan's Version

LV 5 (scene 14) - Wheels Will Spin U On A Round Drive

The scene opens on a beautiful Saturday morning in November, precisely the weekend before Thanksgiving. Logan and Jesse are shown in the former's car. It is revealed that Jesse, on the driver's side, is taking driving lessons from Logan, on the front passenger's seat, as they're parked in Logan's driveway.
Logan: So, Jesse? That's your name, right?
Jesse: (confused) Yes. I'm Jesse, your once favourite student before they came along [laugh track]
Logan: Sorry. I'm so busy trying to balance a B-list lifestyle alongside being your guardian for the third time. Seriously, Gerald and Stephanie keeping you with me is not what I meant when I said private publicity [another laugh track]. Anyway, there are rules to driving, and as per your driving instructor, I hope you'd be ready by the time Thanksgiving starts.
Jesse: Tomorrow is Thanksgiving.
Logan: There! You put busy and Thanksgiving together. I'm so happy I adopted a genius one.
Jesse: Wait. Don't be annoyed, but why are you teaching me and not my dad? He's coming this weekend, and he said he'll do all the work. Besides, I'm not in a hurry to get a car until I'm at least 18.
Logan: (grins) Wow. 18 years? I'm impressed. Usually, people say when they're 15 or 16.
Jesse: (laughs) Funny, right? Who do you think I am? Kelsea? (The two share a laugh) [laugh track]
Logan: Well, Kelsea is with Nigel since he's technically her manager. Rudra and Harleen are staying at Danny's place for the weekend. So, you have me and Tracy to be your fake parents for the entire week.
Jesse: Oh. (hesitates) There's one little problem with that arrangement. You mentioned you were busy, so I had some help.
Logan: (raises his eyes in worry) It better not be who I think it is. (Just then, Danny knocks on Logan's side of the car. He winds the window and clearly expresses his dismay)
Danny: (grinning) Morning, Logan's kid. Morning, Mr Logan.
Logan: Morning, disappointment [laugh track]
Danny: (enters the back seat of the car) So where are we going this beautiful morning? It's Saturday. We're supposed to be taking walks in the park like it's 2014.
Logan: Welcome to the sad reality of 2024, genius. Besides, I'm teaching Jesse how to drive. We're going to pick up Tracy, and you're supposed to be with Rudra.
Danny: Oh, no. Harrison's home alone with him cause everyone left.
Jesse: Harrison's with Rudra? YIKES!
Danny: I know. It's going to be boring for Harrison with Rudra's endless nerd talk.
Logan: Danny, the YIKES expression is for Rudra [laugh track]. Now, do you mind? I'm trying to teach your friend to drive.
Danny: But Mr Logan, I'm his best friend. I'm beyond qualified to be his driving instructor. There's a reason I always do dumbbells as part of my exercise routine.
Logan: You do dumbbells, or you're part or them? [laugh track]
Jesse: (rolls his eyes) Let's pick up Miss Tracy. And then, Danny can teach me at the learning parking lot. I got a good feeling that we won't regret it.

Some minutes later...
(Danny is driving and swerving recklessly around the parking lot. He has a mischievous grin on his face while Logan (at the front passenger's seat), Tracy, and Jesse are trying to hold on to anything random that would prevent from flying out the windows, while screaming in terror)
Tracy: DANNY, STOP THE CAR! STOP THE FREAKING CAR!!
Danny: (excitedly) WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? I'M LOVING THIS!
Jesse: WHY DID I ASK DANNY TO DRIVE?! [laugh track]
Danny: BECAUSE Y'ALL LOVE ME! WE COULD DRIVE LIKE THIS FOREVER!
Logan: DANNY, IF YOU DON'T STOP DRIVING, I'LL SEND YOU TO A PLACE ALSO KNOWN AS FOREVER! [heavy laugh track]
Danny: Amateurs. (He swerves in such a way that the tyres screech, forcing the car to halt suddenly. However, Jesse and Tracy hit their heads on the back of the front car seats, while Logan hits his head on the dashboard) [laugh track]
Jesse: (slightly disoriented) I would say I stand corrected, but I can't feel my legs [brief laugh track]
Tracy: Oh my God! Please tell me my head is still spinning and not the car! [another laugh track]
Logan: (annoyed) Daniel, what was that for?! (He widens his eyes in horror as if he just realized something shocking) Oh, no! You're Mikey's son! (All three slowly stare at Danny, as though a shocking revelation has just been revealed) [heavy laugh track]

The scene changes to Logan's home, specifically on the front porch. Kelsea and Rudra are seen waiting outside for the residents.
Kelsea: (dialling Jesse's phone number) Man, the audacity! They're not at home when I'm around. People are so antisocial these days!
Rudra: Really? I've been trying to tell you that you left a trail of cash from Danny's place to here. (He shows her a wad of many $100 bills) Who's the antisocial one? [laugh track]
Kelsea: (on a pretend call) Sure thing, Ryan. I'll get my fans to stream the movie. (Rudra glares at her) I'm trying to ignore you, stop siphoning life out of me [brief laugh track].
Rudra: Whatever. (Just then, Logan, Tracy, and Jesse waltz towards them. The first three are clearly upset) How did the driving go? (Danny joins in happily munching on a burrito) That was a rhetorical question [laugh track]
Danny: Kelsea, Rudra? You both should join in on the driving lesson sometime. It was the sickest ever.
Logan: (opening the door) And I'm the sickest person when you join in [brief laugh track]. (They all enter the house. As Jesse closes the door behind him, Logan puts his keys back in the pocket and exhales) Daniel, we have to talk.
Jesse: (whispers to Rudra and Kelsea) This is our cue to leave.
Kelsea: Danny is our friend. We have to stand by him.
Tracy: Daniel Porter?
Rudra: (raises an eyebrow) Daniel Porter? (to Kelsea and Jesse) And who said we have to do it now? [laugh track]. (The three leave Danny with Logan and Tracy)
Danny: Mr Logan, I am so sorry for ruining Jesse's driving lessons with you. In my defence, he invited me.
Tracy: And in my defence, you should say NO!
Logan: Why are you all even here? Don't you have homes to live in that isn't Logan's home?! You know, I'm so sick and tired of having to put up with you, ruining my busy schedule and my alone time at the slightest opportunity.
Danny: Mr Logan, I was just trying to make the whole thing fun.
Tracy: Daniel, it's a driving lesson. There's nothing fun in letting someone drive you.
Logan: That was like 2 years ago. I was only trying something I saw on TV.
Tracy: Even at Danny's age, I don't accept it [laugh track]
Danny: Mr Logan, you need some time off. Let the group teach Jesse how to drive. Besides, you're one of those teachers I can boast of who made it later in life.
Logan: What about Mr Tucker?
Danny: He dated someone who made it in life. He's lucky it lasted longer than a few months [another laugh track]
Tracy: Fine, y'all can go for one joyride. Just don't get into any trouble.
Logan: Did you just tell Danny not to get into trouble? He literally takes after you, and you're not even his aunt.
Tracy: Says someone whose kid had to inherit his corny jokes and not his talents [brief laugh track]
Logan: I'm way too annoyed for this. (He turns to Danny) You get only today! Do not mess up, Daniel! (Danny proceeds to collect the keys, but Logan won't let go easily as he holds them tightly). Take them.
Danny: I'm trying, but you're not (struggling) letting go! [brief laugh track]
Tracy: And they say the Lacy meltdown interview was unbearable to watch [another laugh track]. (She leaves them as Danny and Logan continue struggling over the keys)...