Logan's Version

LV 4 (scene 10) - Side Defects

The scene opens with Stephanie checking Jesse's body temperature with a thermometer in Logan's living room.
Stephanie: (Reading the temperature) OK. You're getting better by the minute, but you can not go out today. And for someone who is scared of Halloween a lot, this is a Halloween miracle [laugh track]
Jesse: (sniffling) Mom, I'm not scared of Halloween. I just don't want to relive the incident.
Logan: (walks out in a jeans overalls with crossing belt. He looks like Max from Back To The Future - and has unsuccessfully nailed the costume) Jesse, you don't have to remind me every time. It is the one mistake I will always regret. We shouldn't think back to the past
Stephanie: Yeah, but the past leads to the future. (sarcastic) And in this future, you're back to your past life - babysitting [laugh track]
Tracy: (walks in through the front door. She's wearing a gorgeous green gown and holding her purse. She looks completely exhausted) Hey, everyone.
Stephanie/Jesse: Happy Birthday, Tracy.
Tracy: Thanks, guys.
Stephanie: Honey, you look exhausted. How was the wedding?
Tracy: Like you said, exhausting. And Crazy. Who in their right senses hires a monkey and a parrot to be the hosts of a wedding. That match CAN NOT be made in Heaven [laugh track]
Logan: Tracy, that must be hard. Those animals are quite unpredictable. But when you're done resting, tell me what they told you [another laugh track]
Tracy: (shrugs) Definitely, buddy. (She goes to her room to take a nap. Stephanie prepares to leave, but she has more instructions)
Stephanie: (to Jesse) I'll be back later tonight to take you home. Gerald's taken Amber and Gabrielle to your uncle's place, and I have an afternoon shift that lasts till 9. (to Logan) Logan Hilson, you're like the big brother Jesse never had. Well, he might be in a future time [laugh track]. I am begging you not to get him in trouble. And do not take him out anywhere until I get back! For real, this time. (She starts to leave)
Logan: I won't take him out. Besides, it's because he's still quite sick.
Stephanie: Oh, no. Logan, honey, he's as famous as you [laugh track]. Bye, baby! (Stephanie finally leaves. Logan closes the door and turns to Jesse)
Logan: (mocking Stephanie) Hey, baby [laugh track]
Jesse: (sniffling) Mr Liam? Don't imitate my mom. And I'm not your baby boy anymore. I'm 11 now. I'm a grown man. (He tries to stand up but feels dizzy and slumps back on the couch)
Logan: (mocks) Hey, look, my grown man is as dizzy as a pregnant woman in her second trimester [heavy laugh track]. (He sits behind Jesse, who frowns at him for the crazy joke he just made) Jesse, you might not like Halloween, but we'll enjoy today's stay at home with some movies and our reality show.
Jesse: (hugs Logan and sulks) I miss fighting with Danny, Drea, and Michael over who gets to hang out with you if we behaved. Even though I was always your favourite [awwwn]
Logan: Very adorable, Jesse. But I'm old, you're 11, and I'm not your daddy [brief laugh track]. (grins) But for real, I'm not allowing anything crazy to happen to you.
Jesse: (suddenly releases himself from the hug) Thanks, but I need - (He freezes, and the camera closes on his glowing green eye, leading to the speeding green wave light. However, when the tunnel opens, it's a white background, but he hears mumbling voices in the background, which become clearer gradually. Logan and Tracy are talking to someone else)
[Logan: We have to get him back as fast as possible
Tracy: We're not supposed to be here in the first place.
Unknown voice: Actually, it's good he's here]
Logan: (confused) Hey, Jesse? Nice try, but you're still staying in.
Jesse: (still in his trance-like state) I know. But I can't see anything. And it's playing in a loop
Tracy: (standing behind them all of a sudden) Woah! You don't talk when you're having a vision. (turns to Logan angrily) Leaving you with Jesse on every official occasion leads to a Halloween trick [brief laugh track]
Jesse: (unfreezes from his trance and regains consciousness. But he slumps back on the couch as he feels dizzy) I don't feel good.
Tracy: Logan, we have to call Neil.
Logan: No, that won't be fine. Neil hasn't seen it all -

Later, they're at the Lovely Place restaurant, which is decorated with Halloween dark themes. We see Neil wearing his lab coat, apparently having rushed out of a hospital. And he doesn't look happy.
Neil: Seriously, I can not believe you asked me to come here to help your son. I'm a medical doctor, not a psychic paediatrician [laugh track]
Tracy: Neil, we came to see someone else, not you.
Logan: Yeah, but that someone else dragged him here for no reason. (We are finally reintroduced to Walter, the intern turned full-time nurse who works with Neil, and who was the actual reason behind Jesse's psychic abilities) [applause track]
Walter: I might have had the seance, but you didn't listen to a simple instruction, 6 years ago and presently.
Logan: Chill! His parents know. They asked us to take him out trick or treating. Mostly treating [laugh track]
Jesse: (still feeling tired) Don't with the introductions! My visions are blank! I need your help, Mr Walter Lang!
Walter: It's actually Doctor -
Jesse: (climbs the table with a sudden burst of energy and holds his tie) MR. WALTER!! YOU STARTED THIS! NOT LIAM! SO TELL ME WHAT IS MAKING ME HAVE BLANK VISIONS OR I'LL TELL THEM TO DROP BOMBS ON U! THAT'S RIGHT! LIAM AND TRACY ARE FAMOUS NOW! [laugh track]
Tracy: (gradually brings Jesse down from the table) Jesse, I would be proud of you if you weren't acting like your teacher right now.
Walter: You're only having blank visions because you're sick. It's surprising because you have never had visions while you're sick. (turns to the camera) Isn't it so odd? [laugh track]
Neil: (to Logan with an irritated look) Does everyone do this?
Jesse: (scoffs) You don't live with us yet [laugh track]. (He freezes again and has his vision. As before, he sees a white background and hears voices)
[Logan: We have to get him back as fast as possible
Tracy: We're not supposed to be here in the first place.
Unknown voice: Actually, it's good he's here]
Jesse: (still frozen) Who's voice is that?!
Tracy: What did he say?
Jesse: "Actually, it's good he's here." (He regains consciousness and slumps back on the seat, with the dizzy spell)
Walter: (smugly to Neil) The Logan thing never fails to disappoint [laugh track]
Jesse: (notices the panicking expression on Logan's and Tracy's faces) Mr Liam? Miss Tracy? Why are you looking like that?
Neil: Jesse, you've known them for about 7 years, and you don't know the drama of living with them?
Logan: (worriedly) We have to get him back as fast as possible
Tracy: We're not supposed to be here in the first place.
Unknown voice: Actually, it's good he's here! (Everyone turns to look at the owner of the voice. They realize it's Nigel [applause track]. He's wearing cool shades, an oversized black hoodie with a pumpkin drawn on it, red shorts, and grey flip flops)
Nigel: [applause track] I'm back, people! (turns to camera) For now (He winks) [laugh track]
Walter: I can not get used to these people.
Jesse: (smiles faintly) Evening, Nigel. Did Miss Tracy break up with you and make you wear those?
Nigel: I'm in disguise. No one will bother me if I'm dressed like a hobo.
Tracy: More like a "horror" [laugh track]. (She receives a notification on her phone, and her eyes widen) Guys, we have to take Jesse home. Long story short, Jesse, your visions will be normal once you're fine.
Logan: How about him being conscious while in a vision? That doesn't happen at all.
Nigel: This might just be a new superpower. After all, it might be the best thing to ever happen to you.
Tracy: (silently squeals and applauds) I'm going to love this. Too bad I can't steal that candy from your back pocket anymore. (Everyone glares at her quickly) [laugh track]
Walter: You've been stealing candy?
Logan: From a baby?
Neil: Right till he grew up?!
Nigel: And got superpowers?!! (Logan and Tracy stare at Nigel in confusion) I'm still sticking with that [laugh track].
Logan: (lifts Jesse up bridal style) It's 2015 all over again. Jesse gets sick or is already sick. Thanks to something Walter did. Come on, Tracy. And Neil, we'll talk later (The four leave Walter and Neil and head towards the door. But Logan quickly snatches two chocolate bars from the basket at the entrance, even though the sign says, "Take one.") Their loss, boo [laugh track]. (Tracy and Nigel roll their eyes)

Back at Logan's house...
Danny and Kelsea are sitting around Jesse, who's surprisingly gotten better. They're also amazed at Jesse's apparent "superpower" and Nigel's visit. Nigel walks in from the kitchen.
Danny: (elated) Mr Nigel, Jesse's ability is AWESOME! He just had a vision of potato chips, and he answered my science question at the same time.
Kelsea: Where can I get that eye drop? And the nurse who did it? (with a valley accent) His expertise is giving! [brief laugh track]
Nigel: (blankly) Wow. Staying with Logan and Tracy did not help you all in the slightest bit [laugh track].
Tracy: Nigel, stop being a bitter ex and leave our house. We're exhausted.
Nigel: Fine. But I'll come by tomorrow. (He leaves the house. Logan walks out of the kitchen)
Logan: (tiredly) Stephanie will be here any minute to take you three home. Everyone, pretend we were inside all day. (turns to Tracy) Tracy, help me out here. I'm tired.
Tracy: Fine. (An instrumental of Paul Anka's hit "Put Your Head On My Shoulder" starts playing in the background, and Tracy sassily lip syncs along with it) Put your head on my shouuuuuu (It transitions to Doja Cat's "Streets" as she goes to her room, the music similar to the Silhouette challenge. Logan just lays back on the couch and sulks. The lyrics "Like you, like you, like you..." is heard fading into the background as the scene closes).