Logan's Version

LV 4 (scene 9) - The reality of life

Stephanie, Jesse, Amber, Gabrielle, Madison, Rudra, Harleen, Camillo, Kelsea, and Danny are sitting in Logan's living room. They're about to watch the brand new reality comedy that Gerald, Logan, and Tracy are starring in with so much keen interest.
Madison: Mrs Stephanie, I'm a bit confused. Why can't we watch the show at your place?
Stephanie: Thanks to someone here, we're now officially on TV. (She glares at Amber) 24/7, all day, every day [laugh track]
Amber: Mom, I'm sorry about the TV. But let's face it, babies have a way to put you in trouble. Literally. (She shows a scribbled picture that Gabrielle made of Amber in a pot of soup) [another laugh track]
Camillo: Simran said Harleen used to do the same to Rudra as a 3 year old.
Rudra: Yeah, and that's why we're banned from the hardware store that's right in front of our house. No one bans children from sports and games
Harleen: Says someone who blew up the entire hardware store trying to connect a malware system to the indoor carousel [brief laugh track]
Jesse: Unless those children are too wild or too nerdy.
Danny: You take a bumper car one time, and everyone hates u for it [brief laugh track]
Rudra: And excuse me for knowing all the world science formulas in my head.
Stephanie: Can we please watch my husband on TV?! The show is starting, and we need to focus on my children's dad and the other parents who took care of Jesse. (Everyone gives her a confused stare) [laugh track]

(The reality show starts with a random pop music soundtrack. The characters are briefly introduced. Aside from Gerald, Logan, and Tracy, there are 4 other stars as well. Two busty ladies are introduced as one is average height, while the other is almost as tall as Logan. The other two guys are slightly tall but not as tall as the redhead lady. The brunette lady is introduced as Eleanor, of Afro descent, while the red-haired girl is Phoebe. The caramel blond guy's name is revealed to be Mario (He's of Latinx descent), while the brown-haired guy is Frederick. They are posing and smiling in the most awkward ways.
Gerald: I'm Matthew, the wealthy owner of the Dennison mansion. As you can see (brings out some wads of cash), I made it! [laugh track]
Tracy: (turns to Gerald and scoffs) It's a show about us. Don't you mean we made it?
Logan: Tracy, no offence, but Eleanor, Gerald, and I are kind of the stars here.
Mario: (still grinning) OK, just get to the show! (The words "Reality of Life" are shown, written in cursive font. We finally take a look at the vast city of Denver, Colorado. Few streets and buildings are shown before focusing on the "Dennison" mansion)

Everyone is quiet in the living room, either eating or scrolling on their phones. The camera literally pointed at everyone, even though some people are trying to look good for the camera. Phoebe is fanning herself with a magazine out of boredom. Then she turns to face the camera.
Phoebe: Hey, camera guy, you're so fine
Camera guy: (offscreen) Ma'am, I ve a girlfriend
Phoebe: Ma'am? I'm offended. (smirks) But because of you, I don't mind.
Mario: But I do (takes book from her) You've been fanning yourself for hours, (camera follows as he walks off) Bro, wtf? [laugh track]

(In confessional)
Mario: Some people are truly mad fools. Like my mami used to say -
Camera guy: U know I'm standing here [brief laugh track]
Mario: What now happened?
Phoebe: Mario, be nice. (faces the camera) Are you sure you have a girlfriend?
Camera guy: Yes, this is her picture (hands a photo)
Phoebe: (Rolls eyes) it could be anyone (tears picture)
Camera guy: (palms his face) Jesus [another laugh track]

Gerald: (walks in) Guys, I've an announcement to (notices everyone is unusually quiet, looks around)

[Confessional]
Gerald: I'm sorry, is it just me or I walked into the wrong room? Who cares? I've all the cupcakes for myself [brief laugh track]
Camera lady: (offscreen) Child, I do not have all day to answer silly questions
Gerald: I'm at least 12 years older than you. (annoyed) Where's the other guy?
Cam lady: He's busy, now confess something to me, or you're fired!
Gerald: (irritated) You are a very rude person.
Lady: I said to me, not about me [laugh track]

Gerald: Anyway, I have decided to give out all our $ 5000 donations to the charity orphanage down the street, cause we're stereotypically rich [laugh track] (Everyone starts groaning and grumbling) Can I finish?
Mario: (holding the magazine) Don't even think of doing that! Or Imma stone you with this book
Gerald: (tries to talk) You wouldn't - (Mario literally throws the magazine. At this point, no one tells him twice to stop talking. So he leaves)

[Confessional]
Gerald: (looking clueless) I don't know why, but I feel so proud of myself for getting their blood hot.
Cam Lady: U think so? (Points camera at Phoebe, who's not in a good mood. She's snorting comically like a bull about to charge at its opponent) [laugh track]
Phoebe: Gerald Matthew Dennison?! What kind of announcement was that? Now I have to use the confessional to air my frustration. And we all know I use some of the air to flip my hair [brief laugh track]
Gerald: U mean vent ur -
Eleanor: (walks in, angrily interrupts) So you like to swim in the waters of our anger?!
Frederick: (suddenly shows up) Ellie, please! Sounding like an 18th century lady is not your best work. Move (He pushes Eleanor off the chair) [laugh track]
Eleanor: You don't push a lady out. (She tries to push Frederick, who evades her, but ends up shoving Mario by accident. Mario quickly stands up)
Mario: Yes, you can, if she annoys you after a long time.
Frederick: Coming from the same people who invented gender equality, people! (Looks at camera) And follow me on IG handle, fans (mentions random IG handle with his name and winks) [laugh track]
Gerald: Crazy how I'm the untouchable one.
Cam lady: (scoffs) Please. No one's watching this crap (Gerald, Eleanor, Phoebe, Mario, and Frederick glare in annoyance) [brief laugh track]. Y'all lack drama, and I'm going on my lunch break (leaves camera on)
Claire: Who even hired her?
Logan: (rushes in) Sorry, I'm the one. (pretentiously) The unknown producer and director whose name I don't know [brief laugh track] asked me to find those two. And wow, they're not my best work.
Gerald: You think? My mansion -
Phoebe: (cuts in) Just got desecrated by those camera people! (fakes tears) I'm feeling emotional [laugh track]
Eleanor: (mutters) Drama queen. How did we fit into this confessional? And where's Tracy?
Logan: (scratches his head) About that?
Tracy: (runs in, with messy hair, unaware that the others are there) That was the best time of my life (turns around to see the others staring in shock behind her. She grins nervously). Hello? [laugh track]
Gerald: Does this answer your question? [another laugh track]
[THE REATITY OF LIFE theme song "You make me feel" by Cobra Starship & Sabi plays in the background].
Announcer: We'll be back after the commercial break!

Just as the theme ends, the residents in Logan's living room stare at the drama of a reality show they just watched with stares of both horror and confusion on their faces. Logan, Gerald, and Tracy are also there, and they're also bewildered at the first scenario of their show before the break.
Harleen: (confused) What did we just watch?
Kelsea: My brain is hurting.
Gabrielle: (covers her eyes) Oh, no [another laugh track]
Logan: Is it surprising that people actually watch this? For real, we were given a go-ahead to continue the show.
Tracy: I'd rather have Jesse's Reel-A-Tables be on air than this. And just to be clear, no tables and other furniture were harmed during the show [another laugh track]
Camillo: Ironically, this reality show is actually relatable because this is as real as they can get. At least Vivian is sick and not watching this right now.
Jesse: (nervously) Yeah. (stuttering) That would be, um, a bummer [brief laugh track]. (Just then, Camillo's phone rings, so he goes out of the living room to answer it)
Gerald: Well, we have to shoot for the fourth episode soon.
Stephanie: Babe, there's a fourth episode on the way? (gasps) Oh, no [laugh track]
Tracy: We're going to have only 10 episodes, so it won't be on for that long.
Logan: (going through his phone) Tracy, Simran said we're acting 20 episodes.
Tracy: Boy, must you ruin my lies? [another laugh track] (Stephanie and Rudra give Tracy "Excuuse me?" looks. Camillo returns still on a call. He directs his gaze at Jesse)
Camillo: Really, Vivian? (scoffs) You don't say?!
Jesse: (turns to Stephanie with a slightly terrified look) Sweet mother?
Stephanie: (shakes her head) Oh, no. I told you not to remind Vivian about it.
Jesse: (to Gerald) Hey, dad? You know how I always call you champion?
Gerald: Nice try, Carmichael.
Danny: As your best friend, I'm always on your side. Except I have a fundraiser to host today (He rushes out of Logan's house) [laugh track].
Jesse: (yells) Coward! [brief laugh track] (walks towards Tracy with a knowing look, but she shakes her head to disapprove. Jesse hugs Logan and grins weirdly) Teacher Dad?
Logan: (feeling awkward at first, but shrugs) Your loss, boo (walks away with cowardly confidence) [final laugh track]