Logan's Version

LV 4 (scene 15) - Logan's Block

The scene opens with Logan in the living room typing on his laptop on a Saturday morning. Tracy approaches him; she's in a surprisingly joyful mood.
Tracy: (smiling widely) Hello, William! (She sits beside Logan and hugs him. Logan, on the other hand, is beyond startled)
Logan: Tracy, I'm not going to dance like that again just to spite Julia [laugh track]
Tracy: Excuse me for helping you make the moves. And no, there's something I want to tell you, but you can't tell anyone.
Logan: OK? (shrugs) I might like where this is going.
Tracy: Logan? (holds his hands) I love -
Logan: Uh oh. [brief laugh track]
Tracy: I deeply love -
Logan: Go on?
Tracy: I love how much you babysit those kids like they're your very own, especially Jesse.
Logan: (pokes her arm) I wish you had confessed something else at this point.
Tracy: But I admire your children skills.
Logan: Tracy, whenever you commend me like that, you need me to do something I'll say no to.
Tracy: Really? Try me.
Logan: What do you need my help for?
Tracy: Rhiannon is coming over.
Logan: No [laugh track].
Tracy: (hugs Logan tightly) Please, can we move past what happened 2 years ago and give her a chance? She's just a teenage girl who happened to meet her celebrity crush.
Logan: Fine. But Jesse and Danny are coming over soon. And I'm busy with another novel, so I don't need any major distractions...

An hour later...
Tracy: (standing at the front door) Bye, Logan. Have fun. You will not regret it. (She opens the door and leaves the house. The camera shows Logan being hugged tightly by Danny, simultaneously being obsessively stared at by Rhiannon and checking on a sick Jesse's body temperature. Kelsea is singing loudly in the background) [heavy laugh track]
Logan: Yeah, Tracy. I'd love to look after our children for today. (to Jesse) And Jesse, you're as hot as the sun every time you're ill. Talk about sick burn! [heavy laugh track]
Jesse: Liam, I'm sorry. But you always tell me to turn up the heat if I want to be the hot one among my people.
Logan: Sorry to inform you that you took it personally [laugh track]
Rhiannon: And I personally think you're hot, Mr Hilson. (grins widely) And I promise you I'll be waiting for you till I'm 18.
Danny: You just turned this into a whole new spin-off. Stranger Weirdos [laugh track]
Logan: Coming from someone who has been hugging me since he came in.
Danny: But I've been in school since forever, and I haven't had time to see my favourite teacher.
Logan: You saw me at the park yesterday.
Kelsea: And on a see-saw [brief laugh track]
Logan: Look, I need to concentrate on this novel, and I need inspiration. That, and I have to make sure Jesse's not hot-tempered further.
Kelsea: What's with the sick jokes?
Danny: It's like the more you say them, the lower it's rate of being funny.
Jesse: OK. these jokes are just ice cold [laugh track]
Logan: Can you all just leave me for a while? Except Jesse, he's staying here with me. Nothing can make me any more nervous. (He takes one last glance at Rhiannon, who still has her creepy grin fixated on him) Jesse, you're on your own. (He quickly stands up and starts to walk away with his laptop, but Rhiannon follows along)
Rhiannon: But Mr Logan, you're my idol!
Logan: Who you shouldn't worship [laugh track]
Rhiannon: It might be forever, but just give me 5 more years! (Logan swiftly enters his room and locks the door behind him, successfully keeping Rhiannon out. Rhiannon exhales in defeat but knocks on the door) Can you at least sign my right arm?
Logan: Ask Jesse to do that. He's famous like his daddy. The other one [another laugh track]
Jesse: (wheezes before facing Danny) Hey, Danny? I think (pauses) I know how to help Mr Liam.
Danny: You paused before talking. (He raises his eyebrows) You can talk mid-vision? (smiles maniacally) That's SICK!
Kelsea: Wow. Another sickness word play. How unhealthy [brief laugh track]
Jesse: Only when I'm sick. I never have visions when I'm sick, and I don't have recently. Except last Halloween, and the week after. (He regains consciousness and sinks back on the couch) And it's tiring cause I hear the words in a loop.
Kelsea: What's the suggestion you want to make?
Jesse: I have an idea on something that can help Rhiannon to be less creepy in front of Liam [brief laugh track]. But you have to do it yourselves. My mom will be here any minute to take me home to more drama from Gabrielle.
Danny: Jesse, you can trust us. We'll help Rhiannon and Logan in the most creative way possible...

Later...
Danny is seen in front of Logan, Kelsea, and Rhiannon, wearing a black suit and bow tie, with a white shirt inside, black sunglasses, and black sneakers; He has written some random novel words on a whiteboard in front of him. He is making a formal presentation of what Logan should write as his latest novel.
Danny: And that is why (He cleans the board with a duster and writes in bold) THRILLER is the best way to go!
Logan: You barely told me what the story should be about. All you did was draw random words, expect me to put them together, and finally yelled THRILLER! [laugh track]
Danny: That's literally the point of a thriller. You're supposed to put the pieces together. (to Kelsea and Rhiannon) And everyone says I'm the dumb one [another laugh track]
Rhiannon: OK, I think we should try action. (stands up) Most of your stories are almost always suspense, drama, and comedy. You need to try something a bit different for your fans and readers.
Kelsea: No offence, Mr Logan, but pretending Jesse is your son is so 2018.
Logan: I don't pretend he's my son. You all brought up that conspiracy theory for 2 years.
Rhiannon: You call him your baby champ.
Danny: (pretends to flip hair) I'm disappointed.
Logan: Says Tracy's self-appointed son. (to Rhiannon) As funny as this sounds, you might have a point. I just need to mix it up with a regular Logan genre, and we're good to go! I can't believe I'm saying this, but thank you, Rhiannon.
Rhiannon: You're welcome! But does that mean -
Logan: I'm not going on a date with you for the 70th time [brief laugh track]. But if it makes you feel better, I'm crediting you. Just tell me the name you want to use as your writer name, and you can add ideas too.
Rhiannon: Rhiannon Hilson! (Everyone stares at her to understand what the heck she just called herself. But she just rolls her eyes and scoffs). Oh, please, when it's meant to be, it's meant to be.
Logan: It's "if" and "that will never happen" [brief laugh track]. Let's just stick with Rhiannon Gilcrest. (He smiles at her warmly and leaves the living room with the laptop. Danny, Kelsea, and Rhiannon exchange relieved glances with one another)
Danny: (to Rhiannon) I knew you had it in you to be less creepy than always.
Rhiannon: Of course, I did. I'm not obsessed with Logan. (She stands up and turns around to walk to the kitchen. On the back of her shirt is a paper cutout of Logan's face plastered in the centre, with the words "LOML" written under it. Danny and Kelsea just shake their heads in tiredness at the irony) [final laugh track].