Logan's Version

LV 5 (scene 2) - Dude, we want our nanny back!

It's the middle of the night, and Logan is seen leaving his bedroom with a backpack. He enters the living room quietly. It turns out that he's about to sneak out of the house for an unknown reason, as he makes stealthy and silent footsteps toward the front door, being extra careful not to bump into or knock down anything. Wrong, he falls over a shoe.
Logan: Woah! [laugh track]. (He quickly stands up and proceeds to open the door. But to his greatest shock -)
Rudra: (dressed in blue pyjamas) Where are you going to by this time, young man? (pause) Sir Logan? [laugh track]
Logan: I should be asking you that. Wait, aren't you supposed to be in your house tonight?
Rudra: My parents are out of town, so Harleen and I are staying here for the week. Aunt Simran said she told Tracy.
Logan: And as usual, Tracy didn't tell me.
Rudra: Just like you didn't tell anyone you have another movie shoot outside Denver. Aunt Simran and Tracy told me
Logan: Like I said, that's the one she'll remember first. Cause y'all would freak out that Logan is leaving town for a few weeks, and think I'm responsible for you. And you can't let the others know. (realizes) Why am I explaining myself to a 14 year old? Go to your room!
Rudra: (with stupid confidence) Make me.
Logan: (glaring) Do you want us to repeat that instruction?
Rudra: On second thought, it's a peaceful night. Let's not make it anymore silent than it already is [laugh track]. (Rudra goes to the guest room, while Logan exhales tiredly. His entire sneaky plan just got spoiled, so instead, he returns to his room. However, he's in for a shock).
Danny: (wearing a night robe, flip-flops, and holding the TV remote. His facial expression is like that of an annoyed black American mom) You made the right decision, William Hilson [heavy laugh track]. (Danny walks out of Logan's room casually. Logan stares at him for some seconds in confusion before closing the door)
Logan: Seriously, where are their parents?! [another laugh track]...

The next morning...
Tracy, Madison, and Montana are singing randomly while making breakfast in the kitchen.
Madison: You know? Making breakfast with close friends is the most beautiful thing in the morning.
Montana: And this will sound crazy, but ironically, having those children around with Kelsea has no effect on any of us. (Logan walks in wearing a bath robe, looking like someone who had a bad night and got into a very serious fight. He walks straight towards the coffee maker and starts making some) [laugh track]
Tracy: Logan, what happened to you? You look like Lynette Scavo in Season 1 [heavy laugh track]
Logan: I'm not. In my case, the girl is the first, and I've got no twins. Just 3 annoying boys.
Madison: (clearly confused) I'm sorry. Did Logan just add Jesse on the annoying list? (to Tracy) What exactly happened in Vegas? [laugh track]
Montana: I was going to say you don't cause Lynette is way more successful, but we can work with that [another laugh track]
Madison: However, there is an irony.
Jesse: (walks in) Good morning, Mr. Liam. I'm as needy as the baby of the house.
Logan: You are the baby of the house [brief laugh track]. And I'm only like this cause these kids never want me out of their sight.
Kelsea: (walks in to take out the garbage can) Morning, everyone. And I'm so sorry you couldn't sneak out of the house to - (pause) Hold up, is today Opposite Day? Cause I don't know why you're in trouble. It's your house.
Logan: Thank you.
Kelsea: But you have us. So, you're staying [brief laugh track]
Logan: OK, I think I've had enough. (indignant) I'm travelling, and that's final. This whole "It's your job, Logan" is starting to get very annoying. I USED TO babysit, but not anymore. I'm a B list star now, so I deserve my acting trips and weekends to myself.
Tracy: Speaking of the weekend, Madison and I have to go. Apparently, Mario is going through an age crisis again. (The two women leave immediately. Montana shrugs at Logan)
Montana: Bro, I don't think you should go for the audition. It's just not the right time, and you just returned last week.
Jesse: (stares into space and has a vision. It opens to show Logan glaring at everyone in the living room. He seems to be complaining about something)
[Logan: (angrily) Thanks to all of you, I don't even have a job anymore. YOU ALL SUCK...!]
(The vision quickly closes, and Jesse's back in the living room. He quickly rushes to stand near Logan and smiles. Just then, Danny walks into the kitchen)
Danny: (sneers) What's Daddy's favourite up to?
Jesse: Mr Liam, good luck with your audition. I hope you get the part.
Logan: Thanks, big guy. (smiles) At least, someone here is a little supportive. See you in a month or something longer than that [laugh track]. (Logan leaves immediately. Montana continues with the cooking).

About an hour later...
The teens are discussing something important. Montana joins them soon enough.
Montana: I know I'm getting to know you all, but I can't guarantee I'd get used to a bunch of kids who adopted Logan as their dad [laugh track]. And where is your whiz tech friend?
Jesse: Rudra is out for a dentist appointment.
Kelsea: But we'll still fill him in on our important conversation.
Danny: We're scheming on how to get Mr. Logan to stay longer
Kelsea: I thought we wanted Mr Logan to stay.
Jesse: Yeah. But I just saw the future. And in our future, it's our fault that he doesn't get the role.
Danny: So letting him go is the only solution? But we just got our nanny back [laugh track]
Kelsea: Or we can make him think he's going and delay him so he doesn't go anywhere.
Jesse: Not to spoil the show, but that's a terrible idea. Do you know what will happen if Mr Logan learns that we're trying to trick him? He'll freak.
Danny: What do you mean? I trick him every day, and he doesn't even mind.
Logan: I mind. (Everyone shrieks briefly as Logan is seen suddenly standing behind them [laugh track]. He has his backpack with him ready to leave, but he's not just upset. He's livid). How selfish are all of you?
Montana: Logan, you're overreacting.
Logan: Really? Try raising different people's kids from 19 and into your 20s. You just think it's easy cause you're not the ones getting into trouble every time something goes wrong. Thanks to all of you, I don't even have a job anymore. YOU ALL SUCK!! (Logan storms off to his room and slams the door. Both adults and teens are concerned and surprised to see this side of Logan they've never seen before. Logan comes out again, but this time, he has his grey backpack. He doesn't say anything, but instead, he walks out of the house. After the door shuts, Montana shrugs. Just then, Tracy opens the door and walks in. She looks confused - and annoyed).
Montana: Tracy? You have a very judgemental roommate. (Everyone glares at him [laugh track])
Tracy: (slams the door shut) OK, someone tell me what y'all did that Logan is snubbing everyone he's passing by?
Danny: We were caught scheming on how to stop him from travelling for his audition. And he didn't like it one bit.
Tracy: Why would you do that?! (Everyone starts arguing. However, Jesse stops arguing and freezes in a trance-like state. The camera closes in on his face and right eye, and he has a vision, where he sees Kelsea walking out of the kitchen, covered in food stains. She has an anxious look on her face)
[Kelsea: What are we going to do? I ruined the welcome home lunch we planned for Mr Logan! That's Danny's thing.
Danny: (walks up to her and swipes a bit of tomato sauce from her stained apron and tastes it) Hmm, not bad for someone who's not Danny].
(He laughs manically. However, the laugh turns into an echo, and the vision closes quickly enough for Jesse to regain consciousness. By now, they aren't arguing as much as before)
Montana: To be fair, he just got back home. Leaving like this was scary for them.
Kelsea: What? No, don't say our true feelings out [brief laugh track]
Jesse: Something tells me he'll come home. (exhales) But just to make things clear, we'll collectively make something nice.
Danny: Good! Let's go now.
Jesse: I mean, in a week [brief laugh track]
Tracy: But this means a lot to him. Also, what have I told you about scheming like that?
Jesse: That it never works?
Kelsea: That it's wrong to hurt the person's feelings?
Tracy: Those are minor reasons. You're supposed to include me! I'm the mother of the house and you listen to me!! [laugh track]
Montana: Chill out, Tracy! You're acting like the literal definition of women empowerment.
Kelsea: (glaring at Montana) Don't say that. She is our mother, and we must listen to her. (Montana gives her the "you're being very disrespectful" look, so she clears her throat and adds) Sir [final laugh track].