Logan's Version

LV 4 (scene 17) - Sing ABC, hit D flat, then E can forget u

The scene opens at the exterior of Clarkson High. Soon, we get to see Jesse's classroom, everyone seated in rows of 4 and columns of 5. Rudra and Kelsea are in the first two front seats, while Jesse, Danny, and Rhiannon are sitting next to each other, followed by the rest of the class.
Jesse: Man, where's Mr Tucker? He's late again.
Kelsea: He's so lucky that I decided to keep my famous life separate from my personal school life. Otherwise -
Everyone: (interrupts in unison) HE WOULD HEAR FROM YOUR LAWYERS, COUSIN NIGEL, AND YOUR A-LIST CO-STARS (Everyone groans). YES, KELSEA, WE KNOW!! [laugh track]
Jesse: (freezes in a trance-like state. As soon as his left iris glows a dull green, the camera closes in on his eye, followed by the speeding green light wave, which reveals the vision like a tunnel. Jesse sees Kelsea talking to Mr. Tucker, and she doesn't look too impressed)
[Kelsea: I can't believe you sang to her with an off-key voice. Are you trying to get dumped?!]
(The vision quickly closes, followed by the light, and then Jesse's eye and full face. He regains consciousness. He doesn't want to mention his vision, so he asks something else)
Jesse: What if we ask him why he's late again?
Danny: If Mr. Tucker doesn't show up soon, I'll pull out the big guns! (Everyone turns to look at him in worry. Danny clarifies) I mean leave the class [brief laugh track]. (Just then, Mr. Tucker walks in, whistling a song as he comfortably drops his suitcase and notes on the desk. He sits on his chair and grins warmly at everyone)
Tucker: Good morning, students. (The school bell goes off. Everyone starts to pack their books in their backpack) [brief laugh track] Is class over already?
Rhiannon: Yes. School's over [laugh track] (She leaves along with everyone else. Only Rudra, Jesse, and Kelsea are left)
Tucker: How late am I? This is ridiculous.
Rudra: If it helps, you're earlier than yesterday. You showed up for detention after school.
Tucker: It's detention. No one was in school by then.
Jesse: Exactly [brief laugh track]. (The three start to leave the class, but Mr Tucker calls them back)
Tucker: Fine. I'll admit. I met someone, and since the other teachers are not going to help me out, I need your help. You're younger, more popular, and your grades depend on it. Especially you, Jesse.
Jesse: Why me?
Kelsea: You have great intuition, but you're terrible at observing the obvious. For instance, Rudra just took your necklace right in front of you. So much for "contact" forces [brief laugh track]
Rudra: Mr. Tucker, we'll help you with your dream woman. And we know the perfect people who will help.
Kelsea: They will do anything for their Jesse. Trust me, being the only girl doesn't even help anymore.
Tucker: Thanks. I'll keep to my word of definitely passing you all soon. And I can't wait to meet Jesse's people. They must be amazing people...

Next scene...
(in an unknown background)
Tucker: These are the last people I want to meet for this. I thought you said they're Jesse's people.
Kelsea: Unfortunately, they count as Jesse's people. (It turns out they're on set for the reality show Logan and Tracy are acting in. Danny and Amber are sitting on a big blue couch. However, Danny's wearing an Afro wig while Amber's wearing a blonde wig. Apparently, they're trying to copy -)
Danny: (imitating Logan with a fake yet awful deep voice) Good day, Mr Jesse's teacher. I'm Logan, his big bro, former teacher, and nanny.
Amber: (imitating Tracy, with a tiny sweet tone) And I'm Tracy, his fake mom. (She flips her hair while giggling) [brief laugh track]
Logan: (walks in, obviously disgusted) Danny, eww. I don't introduce myself as his nanny. The term, babysitter, is more appropriate.
Tracy: (watching them at a doorstep) And I don't flip my hair. I'm the definition of an independent woman. (She flips her hair as an ironic response to support her statement) [laugh track]
Amber: But we're Jesse's people by blood. They're his people on a technicality.
Tucker: You're quite young for a guardian. And Danny's, well, you know? (Everyone nods in agreement) [brief laugh track]
Logan: Yeah, sure. (to Tucker) Jesse and Kelsea said you have a problem with "the one."
Tucker: Yes. But she says I need to be a great singer, and I was told you could sing so perfectly. Which is a relief cause I've heard Danny sing. And well, you know?
Danny: (cuts in) OK. Yes, we get it. Danny's the dumb blond.
Tracy: Look at you putting two and two together. No wonder you're so great at Maths [brief laugh track]
Danny: (shakes his head) Fine, let me help. (He takes Amber's blonde wig and wears it, then flips it stylishly and returns it before walking away) Freakin' riff-raffs [laugh track]
Tracy: Well, who's "the one" you so desperately need us to help you with? (Just then, Eleanor makes a slo-mo entrance. A slow, romantic instrumental plays as she walks in. Wind comically blows through her long brown hair, and she smiles warmly, as though she's having her picture taken)
Cam lady: (offscreen) Miss Eleanor?!
Eleanor: I'm on my way. (She struts past everyone as though she didn't see them and goes to another room. The slow music stops)
Logan: Yeah. I think you're about to make a crazy mistake.
Tucker: Dating Eleanor?
Tracy: No, I mean the singing part. You don't look like you can sing.
Tucker: That's the point. I need you to help me sing. That's why they brought me here. (wonders) Wait. How did they bring me here? It's like I just got flashed here.
Logan/Tracy: Welcome to our worlds [laugh track]

The next day, at Logan's living room, where Tucker is taking singing lessons from Logan.
Logan: OK. You sound more like an alto and tenor guy. So we'll try something simple. A song within your regular vocal range. (He shows a song cover on his phone)
Tucker: I might not be the most hip and hop guy like I was in my teens, but there's no way I can sing that. (It turns out Logan is showing him the cover of Gayle's song "abcdefu" as a single [the x-ray of the broken middle finger]) [brief laugh track]
Logan: Mr Tucker. You have to believe in yourself.
Tucker: I believe I'm trying to get her attention, not diss her. That's your thing.
Logan: Just sing it.
Tucker: (clears throat and sings in off-key cursive) Forget you and your friends and your sister and your job -
Logan: (interrupts) OK, OK. I believe my ears are better off without this job [laugh track]
Tracy: (walks in cleaning her ears with a cotton bud) In as much as I still need my ears, Jesse's grades are on the line. I thought you'd do anything for Jesse.
Logan: That doesn't include losing the brain cells that aids my hearing [laugh track]. Mr Tucker, we both know I respect you a lot. That's why we're helping you.
Tracy: Oh, I have the perfect song you can use to practise. (She scrolls on her phone and taps on something. Then the intro to "Little Bit Of Love" by Tom Grennan starts playing, followed by the high alto of the aforementioned words)
Tucker: (looks at the two with more disappointment than before) Wow, you could have just said this is literally your definition of "I think all men are the same" [laugh track]
Logan: OK, why don't we just try an old-fashioned fake date?
Tracy: Mr. Tucker, pretend I'm Eleanor, and we're on a date. How would you begin?
Tucker: (with a deeper voice) Hello, mamacita!
Tracy: Mamacita?
Logan: On behalf of all the Latinx race, I'm offended [brief laugh track]
Tucker: (normally) Would you let me finish? (using his deeper voice again) Mamacita, I think you look beautiful tonight, like ketchup served in sandwich on a Saturday weekend picnic [laugh track]. (Logan and Tracy stare at him in confusion) Eleanor's favourite sauce is mostly ketchup. You're her co-stars, and you don't know that?
Logan: Well, we don't know what would make you clarify that?
Tracy: Exactly, we're her co-stars. But we do know this date will flop if you don't do you
Logan: That's it, Tracy. Tucker just has to be himself towards Eleanor. It's like she said in the iconic 2017 movie "Resonance," where she had the lead role. (demonstrates eccentric) "You go out there, mister, and you do you!"
Tucker: Oh, look. Her co-star remembered her lines better than herself [brief laugh track]...

The scene changes back to the classroom, most accurately the following week. Mr. Tucker is handing out the students' test scores back to them. As promised, everyone in the class is impressed at their scores. They're all A+'s, B+'s, A's, and B's. Soon enough, the school bell rings, signifying that the class is over.
Tucker: (warmly) Thanks to very special people, I'm happy to say everyone passed their tests, even though someone almost destroyed the classroom before with a killer machine.
Rudra: (groans) And for the millionth time, I'm sorry. It was one glitch, people. Did y'all forget about Danny? [laugh track]
Danny: (indignant) Stop underestimating me, you lowlife wimp. I'm a man of charisma and street smarts who got an A+ in his test! As two great women once said, (He stands and wears his Afro guy wig and pretends to flip it) I'm independent! (He raises up his test paper with his right hand and walks out confidently with his backpack. Everyone, however, looks at him as though he's insane) [laugh track]
Tucker: (shakes his head) I wonder how he's the brightest and the dumbest at the same time. (The rest of the class starts leaving)
Rhiannon: Simple. Street kid. (She walks out. Only Jesse and Kelsea are left with Mr. Tucker)
Tucker: Thanks for the whole date thing! Eleanor and I are finally together.
Danny: I can't believe you sang to her with an off-key voice. Are you trying to get dumped? (Jesse stares at Kelsea in annoyance, but he realises Kelsea's response was ironic to the present situation, unlike his vision)
Tucker: Wow, Kelsea, how encouraging [brief laugh track]. Don't worry, I didn't have to wow her with my awful voice. How can I thank you?
Jesse: You just did.
Kelsea: (pokes Jesse lightly) Dude, don't be so modest. He asked a question. (smiles at Tucker) I'd like two large pepperoni pizzas, please [laugh track]. And not to sound rude, but I need them before Friday. Otherwise -
Tucker: (cuts in) We'll hear from your lawyers.
Jesse: Your cousin Nigel and your A-list friends.
The class: (offscreen) WE KNOW!!! [final laugh track] (Kelsea looks around her to know where the voices came from as the scene ends)