Complicated ~ Nekoma

Chapter Forty-One

Once the movie had finished everyone decided it was a good time to go to sleep. You ended up cuddling up close to Kayo since you were both absolutely terrified from the horror movie. 

You had a really hard time sleeping and you knew it wasn't the monsters from the movie that were keeping you up. Instead your head was completely swarmed by thoughts of Kuroo and what was going to happen in the morning when you confessed everything to him. One way or another everything was going to change...

Either he was going to reciprocate your feelings and the two of you would become even closer or he wasn't and there would be this awkwardness that settled between the two of you. But you couldn't sit with these feelings any longer, you've learned over the years that it doesn't really go away and you didn't want to be left forever wondering what would have happened if you had confessed.

You tried to carefully plan out and memorize everything you were going to say to him. After a couple of hours of staring at the ceiling you had perfected your confession. You rehearsed it so many times in your head that it would be impossible to forget in the moment.

You wished you would get the opportunity to go over it with Yaku. But you wouldn't get the chance to see the boy again until after the confession.

You could do this part without him though. Yaku had helped you through every other step of the plan practically, showing you exactly what to do. But now you had to do this on your own. You couldn't rely on Yaku forever.

There felt like a giant weight on you all of a sudden. Like there was something you should be doing before you confessed but you didn't know what else there was left to do.

You couldn't sleep and you couldn't just lay there any longer, you needed fresh air because the air you were currently breathing in felt suffocating. In fact you couldn't breathe at all. You hurried out of bed and out to the main area where you quietly slipped out of the cabin and onto the deck instead.

You were standing there sucking in deep breaths of the outside air for several minutes until you could calm yourself from the sudden panic attack you were feeling.

"Are you okay?" you heard the voice from your side.

You jumped so bad at the sound you almost fell over. Yaku was sitting on one of the chairs on the bench looking over at you in concern.

"Don't do that, you scared the absolute shit out of me! I watched a horror today you know!" you exclaimed as you smacked his arm. 

Yaku's face of concerned disappeared as he chuckled a little, rubbing the spot on his arm that you had hit.

"Sorry, didn't know you were coming out here." he replied.

"I didn't know you'd be out here either." you said as you moved to take a seat in the chair beside him. 

Even though at first it had been startling to see him out here in the middle of the night, you were actually quite happy that he was out here. You felt a little less suffocated and anxious now that you could talk to him.

Yaku shrugged. "I couldn't sleep, figured the fresh air would help. You?" he asked.

"I couldn't sleep either. I'm so nervous for tomorrow morning." you confessed. 

"I thought you might be nervous. Gotta say I'm surprised to see you out here though. You were so freaked out earlier. You should have heard your screams during the movie. Plus I saw the way you were clinging to Kuroo." Yaku teased with a smirk.

"Shut up, you were just as scared." you replied quickly, rolling your eyes when he didn't lose his smirk at your words.

Sitting out here beside Yaku you could feel yourself calm down. Even when you thought about confessing to Kuroo, you didn't feel your heart rate pick up or breathing become struggled the way it had when you were alone thinking about it. But you found that Yaku had always had a calming presence about him, he was the type of person who could make difficult things feel a whole lot less scary.