I want to be mad at Will but I can't because he didn't do anything wrong
But it's hard to see him so happy.
Even though he really really deserves it, it's hard.
It's hard to know he's getting married soon and for him everything is different and will be different
But for me everything will stay the same
And let me tell you
Not being able to feel romantic feelings for your partner, or for anyone, fucking sucks.
And I feel so bad for Eleanor
I wish so badly that I could feel anything more than platonic attraction for you
I hate this feeling lonely all the time
And I really hate know that it will probably be like this forever.
I'm tired of missing everyone and everything even right in the moment, and feeling all time like my life isn't really mine
Like I'm only halfway here because the rest of me died with them, a little at a time.
