Surviving Heartbreak

If I Had Known

I guess my only regret
is I didn't know it was over
until it was.

If I had known,
maybe I would've held you a little longer,
kissed you a little deeper,
softened my words,
or stayed instead of leaving angry.

If I had known the last time I saw you
was the last time you were mine,
I would've done some things differently.
I would've hugged you in our sleep,
held on a little tighter,
watched you play on your PC just a bit longer.
I would've sat in silence with you,
cuddled on our couch,
watching a movie neither of us were really watching.
I would've held your hand a little while longer—
perhaps I wouldn't have let go.

And I would've looked at you
a little while longer too,
because you still had that look
that loved me.
Now, when I see you,
it's not really there—
you're suppressing it,
but you never had to do that before.

I don't have many regrets in life,
but I regret how we ended—
not that we did,
but how.
I wish our end had been kinder.

After all, you were the person
I thought I'd spend forever with,
the one I loved more than myself,
the one who finally let me love you
after so many others broke your heart.
I knew how to love you.
And for a while, you let me,
until my love became too much to bear.

I don't regret our ending,
because now I see—
everything happens for a reason.
You are my favorite lesson,
the person I'll always carry
like a scar,
like a gift.

But I wish our goodbye
had been a little softer.
I wish I'd kissed you
with every ounce of love I had that night.
Our last kiss—
it wasn't how it was supposed to be.

If I had known,
I would've kissed you better.

—MistakenGenius