Surviving Heartbreak

I'm So Tired

I hate this generation—
not for the world we've built,
but for the walls we've learned to hide behind.
We tell ourselves the cruelest lies:
"He doesn't care."
"She doesn't love you."
"They'll never miss me."
All so we can stay ahead of heartbreak,
arming ourselves with despair
before love can disarm us again.

I don't want to live like this.
I want to feel without explanation,
to say what's in my heart
without fear of it being turned against me.
I want to tell someone,
"I want you in my life,"
and for them to stay.
Just stay.

But I'm tired—
tired of people walking out,
leaving with, "I'm not ready for this."
Tired of lying to myself,
of wondering if you're lying to yourself too.
Do you actually not miss me?
Is your life really better without me in it?

I'm so tired.
This generation doesn't know love,
not the real kind.
I won't change what I believe in,
won't twist my idea of love into some guarded game
just to keep myself safe from those
who only take what they want.

Maybe that makes me an easy target—
for people who walk in and out of my life
simply because they can.
But I'm tired.
So tired.

I want someone who says,
"I love you," and means it.
"I'll stay," and does.
Someone who hypes me up to their friends,
talks about me like I'm their favorite story,
looks at me like I'm the best part of their day.

I don't want the impossible—
I already give all this love
without being asked.
All I want is someone
to look into my eyes,
call them the most beautiful shade of brown,
and never be the reason I cry.

—MistakenGenius