Ready? Not Really.. (Fem USUK) •IN EDITING•

Alice

I gathered up my books and blew a piece of hair away from my eyes. Damn bangs. Blocking my view of my homework. And Amelia. I smiled a little at the thought of her in such a short skirt and started off to my dorm room with a skip in my step. Despite how much I loved seeing her, I desperately hoped Amy wouldn't come near me. We'd just fight, and I'd have to go against every fiber of my being so I wouldn't kiss her. I'd much rather just stick to my fantasies of her in her tight clothing.

My struggle was indeed real.

I shook my head free of these thoughts and instead focused on something else I was in love with.

Ballet.

I smiled wider.

"What's making you so happy?"

I turned and met the gaze of my tall friend, Madeline.

"Hey. Just thinking." I shrugged and my smile dropped into a sheepish one. I must've looked ridiculous. My smile really sucked. I always looked like I was in pain.

"About Ameliaaa?" I heard a singsong voice. I gritted my teeth.

"No, Gillian. Not about her." As much as I loved Maddie, I constantly questioned her taste in women. Gillian was the absolute worst person I've met. The polar opposite of her sweet and innocent partner. Maddie sighed and poked her girlfriend in the ribs harshly with her elbow.

"Gil, be nice."

"I was just saying!" Gil whined, pouting up at her partner and laying her head on Maddie's shoulder.

"Anyways," Maddie said, looping her arm around Gil's waist. I wished Amelia would do that with me. "What were you thinking about?" I thanked her in my mind for changing the subject.

"About my upcoming recital," I said. Subconsciously, I started to point my toes as I walked. Ballet was my one escape from reality and the drama it brought. My escape from Amelia. I didn't need to think as I twirled and leapt on stage. I just.. Did it. And I did it well. Thirteen collective gold medals and seventeen silver in competitions. Not to brag or anything.

"Oh yeah. You're doing a dance by yourself, right?" Maddie looked over at me. I shrugged and nodded.

"And one with the other girls in my studio, but yeah. It's not like I'm spending four hours a day practicing it so I don't royally fuck it up and humiliate myself in front of three thousand people." I swallowed at the thought. I could just imagine headlines saying Junior Year Girl Tripped and Broke Her Head Open! Now a Vegetable!

"I'm sure you won't mess it up," Maddie reassured me. "If it makes you feel better, Amy wants to come."

All time stopped, and everything seemed to happen in slow motion.

"She what?!" I shrieked. I stopped walking and stared at my friends in shock. I could not fuck it up now. Not if Amelia was coming. She'd never let me live it down, and it would completely eliminate my chance of her ever liking me back, if I ever even had a chance.

"Oh yeah. I think she feels way better," Gil said with a snicker.

"I didn't- She wants to come!" Maddie explained frantically, waving her hands to try and get her point across. "She likes you, too, you know, Alice."

"Oh my god," I whispered, sinking onto my knees. Maddie only said that to make me feel better, and I was grateful for her support, but I was still panicking. Amelia? Watching me? Do a solo act? I would definitely trip and crack my head open on the ground. What if she changed her mind and didn't come because I wasn't good enough? I clenched my hands into fists.

"Ally- Calm down." Maddie sat in front of me and held my face in her hands, but all I could hear was the blood roaring in my ears.

"So, that means three thousand people plus the girl she wants to get married to watching. Which equals three million people in Alice's world."

"GIL!" Maddie snapped.

"Just saying," Gillian grumbled.

I started to breathe heavily. As much as I hated to admit it, Gil was one hundred percent right. Amelia watching would put a world of stress on my shoulders.

"Al-Alice listen," Maddie said. "If you want, I can tell Amelia not to come." I could've sworn she looked disappointed. "She's already not that sure if she wants to come. I just-" she sighed.

"It's fine. She can come."

Maddie and Gil looked at me in shock, and I could definitely understand why. What was I saying?

"Are.. Are you sure?" Maddie asked hesitantly.

"Uh, yeah." I sighed and tried to smile at her. "If she wants to come then there probably is no stopping her."

"That's for sure," Gil mumbled.

Maddie smiled and giggled quietly, and I joined in breathlessly. But all I could think was what the hell was I signing up for?