Ready? Not Really.. (Fem USUK) •IN EDITING•

Amelia

Outside was much colder than I expected, and I cursed myself for not having brought my jacket out of the theatre. I did still have the food, though, and my hand ached from holding the cup so tightly for a long time. I loosened my grip and sighed.
You know, I had never drank. Like, wine or beer or shit. I didn't know even a single name of any alcohol company. My parents rarely ever drank when Maddie and I were young, and I hadn't the slightest idea what to expect whenever I did start drinking. The only memory I had that even remotely related to alcohol was one time at a party when Alice cornered me in a hallway. She was piss drunk and started yelling at me for something I did earlier in the week. I had started to yell back when she took my face and kissed me. I had run home and cried in bed for an hour because the only kiss I could score from the girl I liked was one she wouldn't even remember. She still didn't.
I shook my head.
Lifting the cup to my nose and sniffing it, I identified the smell as something fruity and sweet, like something I would enjoy as a candy. I glanced around the parking lot as if I was doing something scandalous. No one was there. Well, no one except a couple making out in a car a few rows behind me. Yuck.
Maddie and Gil were inside, and Alice would be on eventually. There was no one watching, and no one to judge me or laugh at me. Hesitantly, I took a sip of the wine. It was definitely good. Almost instantly, my head seemed less jumbled up in anxiety.
Damn, okay. Better than expected. Good taste, shady bartender.
I hopped out of my Jeep and locked it again. If Maddie asked what took me so long, I could lie and say I was charging my phone in the car and then got some coke or whatever. She'd probably believe me, and everything would be cool. Easy enough, right?
I made my way back to the front of the theatre, taking a bigger swig from my cup. The crowd around the food tables had thinned, but there was still a hell of a lot of good shit left to eat. "Awesome," I whispered to myself before opening the front door and heading in that direction. One of the ladies that was hovering around the pasta line and managing portions. She noticed me and immediately looked aggravated.
"You again?" she snapped. "You had at least three bowls. Go away."
"Dude," I said, waving my hand toward the half-full pot of spaghetti. "You can spare another."
"No. The dancers still need dinner, you know." That ended the conversation. The thought of Alice not being able to eat after working so hard haunted me, so I walked over to the unmanned desserts instead. My head wasn't spinning anymore, which was nice. All emotions relating to Alice switched from anxious to an innocent desire. I wanted to see her more than anything. She hadn't left my side for very long in weeks. At that moment, nothing seemed more important than getting to her. Those thoughts loomed in my mind as I hesitated while standing over the desserts, unsure of what would temporarily satisfy my hunger. I reached out and picked up a cupcake or four and put them on my plate. Honestly if I didn't drop dead from sugar overdose the free sweets, I wasn't sure what would kill me.
"Ah, excuse moi," I heard from behind me. "You are blocking the entire table, madam."
"Shit," I mumbled. "Sorry." I started to move away when I caught a whiff of a familiar perfume. Instantly, I whirled around and was shocked to see Fran in the flesh. She hadn't noticed who I was yet, her back to me as she murmured to herself.
"A large selection for a dance recital, wouldn't you think?" she joked shortly, picking up a little slice of cheesecake. Fran straightened her back and turned to smile at me. Her face immediately fell when she recognised me. "Oh."
"'Oh?'" I repeated angrily. "Why are you here? What do you want?"
She frowned. "Are you drinking?" I narrowed my eyes but didn't respond. "Your breath smells like-"
"Look, dude," I interrupted. "Why the fuck are you here? Did Alice invite you?" I was overwhelmed with anger. Was Alice still sleeping with her? Did she manage to sneak around me to continue having sex with Fran? I wanted to sob, but I had to stay strong at the moment to intimidate my cousin. I could never let her doubt my strength, or she'd go for Alice as soon as I turned my back.
"No," Fran sighed. "She did not."
"How'd you find out about it?" I gripped my drink so hard, the cup was starting to crack. I couldn't have Fran see Alice before I had a chance to ask her out. What if they started right from where they left off? I was terrified at the thought. The only thing I refused to give Alice was the one thing Fran could offer. Fuck.
Fran shrugged and twirled a loose strand of hair around her finger. "I have heard Maddie talk about it before. Good memory." She tilted her head at me. "And you?"
"What about me?"
"Why are you here?" I stiffened. "You obviously don't want to watch fifty different groups perform, so why did you come? You come every year, I know, but something is different this time..." Fran took a step closer and looked at me carefully as if she were analysing a foreign body. I glared at her. "Oh," she said finally. "You're asking her out."
"You can't get that from staring at me, Miss Psychology," I argued. "Someone told you."
"But I can. Your eyes were dilated much more than usual, and since it's very bright in the building... Symptoms of... of love. You're also shaking, stiff, and blinking rapidly. Symptoms of anxiety, which you don't normally have. So it's true." Fran laughed shortly and shook her head. "You're finally doing it. Amazing."
"Hardly." I looked away and swirled around the liquids in my cup. "I'm about to piss myself, I'm so scared." Why was I telling her anything? I should've threatened to beat Fran up if she didn't leave and yet here we were.
Fran smiled sympathetically. "She does have quite a frightening presence, doesn't she?"
"Yeah, no kidding." I laughed a little and leaned heavily on the dessert table. "She's fucking amazing. Everything she does is perfect, she's beautiful, and yet she's so..."
My cousin nodded and scratched the back of her neck. "Yes, I know." She leaned on the table beside me. "She is special. Definitely not like any other girl I've known." Fran messed with the cheesecake on her plate, pushing it around and refusing to look at me. "Unfortunately, I could not offer what she wanted."
"And what was that?" I asked.
"You." Fran glanced up at me before looking away. "I was not you. I found her too late." She hesitated for a while. "She... she'd scream your name, not mine. That's when I knew."
My face burned. Was Fran seriously shitting me? I didn't need to know that. I would've preferred being able to look at Alice the same after that conversation. But the thought of sex really terrified me more than a little alcohol did. "I can't do that with her," I whispered. "I don't even know how to..."
Fran giggled lightly, the first time I had heard her laugh for real in a long time. "That's not what she wants, Amelia. Not from you. Well... not now, at least." She placed a hand on my shoulder. I flinched instinctively, unsure of her motives. "Alice wants someone that can compliment her. Agree with her sometimes, argue with her other times, and love her no matter what." I raised my eyebrows. That sounded like a lot. "I mean you, Amelia."
"Me?" I pointed at myself.
"Yes, you. You're perfect for each other, as much as I hate to admit it." Fran looked a little pained, but not as much as before. "I wasn't the one for her. Maybe in another life, but... Not now." Weird way to put it. I watched her as she skirted around me. "I will find someone eventually, I know. You just need to be with her, okay?" Fran squeezed my arm as she passed, pausing beside me. "Promise me that. You treat her like she deserves."
"Yeah, of course," I reassured her. Fran sighed in relief.
"Good. I'm leaving her to you." She started to walk back to the auditorium. "Don't tell her I was here."
"Why shouldn't I-?" But when I turned to face Fran, she was already gone; the door to the house closing softly behind her.