Ready? Not Really.. (Fem USUK) •IN EDITING•

Alice

A/N:.
love y'all thanks so much for the support your comments are so nice dear god I've been smiling so much no one has been this nice to me in years. it keeps me in this fandom

ps if you are in the phandom why don't you go check out my christmas and/or new years one shot woohoo thx.

also a welcome to night vale fic im writing is up so check it out my fellow nerds
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Misstep.
Shit.
Misstep.
God.
Misstep.
Fucking
Misstep.
Fuck.
"Hey twinkle toes, you do realise we aren't even thirty seconds into the song, right?" Someone called out. I gritted my teeth. "The song we've been practicing since, oh I don't know, mid-July."
"Thank you, captain obvious!" I shouted back. "What would I have ever done without your valuable input?"
"Girls! Focus!" My instructor, Miss Arlovskaya, yelled at us. She was a short girl with long, pale hair pulled tight into a bun. Although she was small and usually wore a bow in her hair that coordinated perfectly with her outfit, she was extremely scary when she was mad. Often times, she spoke about her collection of World War II army knives that still had the blood of fallen soldiers on them. No one was really sure if she was kidding or not. "We are performing this in less than three months! There is no time to argue!"
"Sorry," the girl and I mumbled. We shot each other mean looks as our teacher went back to her stereo to restart the song for the fourth time that day.
"Again!" Miss A. shouted above the starting chord of the music, clapping her hands to signal that we all get into position.
"Try not to screw up, lesbo," the girl whispered in my ear. I glared at her but didn't say anything back. I'd really rather not die young by the hands of my dance teacher.
"Five, six, seven, eight!"
~•~•~
"Alice! Alice, wait!"
I didn't bother to stop walking.
I was furious. How dare Amelia treat me like trash?
She had probably just faked being nice to me to take advantage of me.
Asshole.
My stomach turned at the thought.
"Alice, I swear to god-"
"Leave me alone, Fran!" I shouted, turning on my heel and glaring at the girl following me. "I don't need you to tell me how I overreacted or whatever the hell you think I did wrong back there."
"I wasn't going to," she said, frowning.
I eyed her cautiously. Francine had a way with words to make you think that she was telling the truth when, really, she was trying to you to admit where you fucked up.
It was extremely aggravating.
"Please don't do the mind games with me right now," I sighed, rubbing my face with both hands.
The alarms had stopped by now, and firemen were directing girls back into the building. It was safe to assume I was the exception considering my room almost burned to the ground.
"I'm not playing mind games," Fran said, putting her hands up as if to prove her innocence. "I was just going to ask if maybe you wanted to stay in my dorm tonight?" She looked back at the building. "I am not quite sure you, ah, will be able to go back to yours, after all."
I narrowed my eyes at her. "You know how I feel about you."
"Oui."
"And how I feel about Amelia."
"I am well aware."
We stared at each other for a few moments.
Fran and I had a weird relationship, if I were to be honest. I didn't like her all that much, but she was practically my best friend. We'd done some.. things.. in the past that I would never admit to if confronted about it, but that never really phased us.
I was fucked up.
She was an asshole.
I guess it worked out.
"Sure," I agreed finally. "But don't expect anything from me."
Fran laughed lightly and slung an arm around my shoulders. "I wouldn't dream of it."
~•~•~
I woke up the next morning in her bed with arms around me and a gentle breath on the back of my neck.
But no feelings of affection.
Just guilt.
~•~•~
"Alice!"
I turned at the sound of my name.
Class went by in a blur of pirouettes and critiques from the teacher. I wasn't even that sure how I did, if I were to be completely honest. There was absolutely no memory of it in my mind.
Other girls gave me looks as they exited the classroom. Eventually, it was just me and my teacher.
"Yes, Miss A?" I asked politely. Fran was waiting by a restaurant close by the studio. She had offered to have lunch with me- on her, of course. I begrudgingly agreed. She may be annoying, but we were close.
Also, it was pretty nice to have someone to just vent to.
"You seemed.. distant today," she said, grasping for the right word. Her eyes flickered with concern. "Everything alright? Don't tell any of he girls, but you're usually my star student."
My heart briefly swelled with pride. Me! The star student of a world renowned ballerina! What an amazing thought. "Oh. I just have had a lot on my mind."
"School?"
"Sorta."
"Oh." She tilted her head. "Relationship?"
I felt my face grow warm, and my chest got tight. "Uh, yeah. In a way."
Miss A smiled slightly, looking a little strange. She usually looked so stoic and cold. "I know how that feels." She rested a hand on my shoulder. "I don't mean to pry. Unless you want to talk about it..?"
I shook my head, feeling a little guilty. "No. Sorry, ma'am. It's a.. really long, really painful story."
"Oh." Her smile fell. "That's alright. I hope everything works out, Alice."
I shrugged. "I hope so too, and, Miss A?" She had started to pack her bag, but turned back to me.
"Yes?"
I smiled. "Thank you. For everything."
Miss A blinked a few times, looking surprised that she meant so much to me. "You're.. You're welcome."
It started to get awkward, so I mumbled a 'goodbye' and rushed out of the room, almost forgetting to grab my stuff.
As I walked outside, I put on a jacket. It's surprising how self conscious a person can get when they're wearing tights and a leotard.
I could see Fran's car. I'm not really sure what kind of car it was, but it was fast and had sleek edges. It wasn't fair at all that her parents could afford to spoil her so badly. She was an only child, sure, but still.
Francine rolled down her window. "Mon dieu, Alice. You would think you were born a snail. Do you dance as slowly as you pack up?"
I glared at her. "Quiet, Fran. And stop using random French terms. You've been in this country for years, you idiot. Use the language." I opened the car door and hopped inside. My friend raised an eyebrow at my comment but said nothing, speeding down the road as soon as my seatbelt clicked into place.
~•~•~•~•~
Fran squinted as she tried to read the menu hanging on the wall behind the cashier. "What the hell does any of that say?"
I looked up at her. "I don't know. Get glasses."
She shot me a look. "We know just how into glasses you are."
I rolled my eyes, but rested a hand on my face self consciously. "Do you even try anymore with your comebacks?"
Fran smiled and shrugged. "Just trying to keep the conversation lighthearted." She decided to just go back to deciphering the blurry text.
The cashier was eying Francine like a hungry dog. It was very unsettling. She might be pretty, as much as I hate to admit, but it was just plain weird to ogle like that. I bumped into my friend and nodded to the man when she looked down. Fran rolled her eyes.
"It's like he's never encountered the opposite sex in his life."
I smiled slightly.
When we got up to the front of the line, Fran ordered our food. She knew me well enough to know my tastes by now, and she was obviously getting the message that I was still upset about the other day. I did appreciate her, I really did. At times, she was my best friend.
I jumped when she hooked arms with me. Fran just smiled sweetly. "Nothing like a good bite to eat with mon ami, non?"
I glared up at her. "Stop throwing in French terms to sound intelligent. We all know you aren't."
She made a pouty face as she led me off to a table, my arm still in her tight grasp.
She was a creep. But I would never know what to do without her.
Fran pulled out my chair before she danced over to hers and sat down. I raised my eyebrows. She smiled up at me. "We should start training you for dates with your lover, right? I'm sure Amy would be the type to pull out the chair."
I closed my eyes and sighed. "You're hilarious." I sat down across from her. "She's just the type to be annoying."
"But you love her?"
I bit the inside of my lip. "I guess."
"Hmm." Fran picked at her nails as she tried to think of another way to ask me about Amelia. "I never understood how you could love someone that is so.." she tried to think of a word. "So horrible to you."
I looked at the table. "I hate myself for it." I spread my hands out in defeat. "But it is what it is. A brain defect, I guess."
Fran smiled and shook her head. "You hardly have a defect, Alice."
I glanced up at her. "Was that some strange kind of compliment?"
She shrugged. "Take it however you want." The waiter came up before I could speak, and he sat down two drinks before us.
I stirred the ice in my cup with my straw, not looking Fran in the eyes. "I don't want to like her."
"I know."
"She hates me."
Pause. "No, but if you insist." She knew what I thought and didn't want to bother starting another argument.
I looked up at her through my bangs. "Do you honestly think I'd ever have a shot with her? Be real."
Fran sat back in her seat and tilted her head. She thought for a long moment, then smiled. "I think you have a chance with anyone you want, Ally." I blinked in surprise. She absolutely never called me that. "And I especially think you have a chance with her. You're beautiful, she's beautiful. She does dumb things, and you somehow manage to find them endearing while aggravating at times. It's like you were destined to be together." She lifted her shoulders. "Soul mates, non?"
I rubbed my face and shook my head. "Soul mates don't exist. Those are fairy tales." But I thought back on what she said, anyways. "Am I just being a masochist with this whole ordeal?"
Fran giggled. "Maybe? I don't know what you're into." She took a small sip of her drink. "Well, actually I-"
I glared at her. "Shut up, frog."
We bickered a little bit after that about nothing important- best flavour of this, which music was better. Just something we knew that wouldn't turn into something new. Something we couldn't deal with.
Fran seemed a little more distracted nowadays. She started to mention nights we spent together, even though that was an off limit topic- at least, it was for me. I didn't know what we were.
Friends? Maybe.
Lovers? Fuck, no.
There wasn't a word for it. It was just.. companionship.
And so I flicked a bit of my drink at Fran while we waited for our food. She laughed and swatted my hand. And we kept in the comfortable chat range. Nothing controversial.
"Order for.. 'Your mother would be ashamed that you creep on young girls..?'"
I covered my mouth and grinned at Fran. "Did you really?"
She winked at me and raised her hand in the air. "That would be me! And I would like the cashier to deliver it to us!"
I snorted and started giggling.
Fran laughed with me as the disgruntled man carried over our tray of food, his face flushed and eyes huge.
And the afternoon was almost perfect.
Almost.