Ready? Not Really.. (Fem USUK) •IN EDITING•

Amelia

a/n
when people decide to post stuff that triggers a giant phobia of yours and you can't stop thinking about it for hours and feeling uncomfortable.
thanks random person I follow
asshole
--------------------------------------
Her lips trailed down my neck and pressed against my collarbone. I couldn't feel anything but her. Her touch, her kisses. Every sense was heightened, and my breath hitched when she nipped at my skin.
"Alice, please," I groaned. She just looked up at me with a sly smirk, knowing what she did to me and how she made me feel. Alice climbed on top of me and grabbed at the fabric of my shirt. She kissed me forcefully and pushed me down onto my bed, straddling me and occasionally rocking her hips. "Fuck me," I gasped.
"Oh, I'm sure you wish I would," she replied, tilting her head as she pressed a kiss to the corner of my mouth. I could feel her smile against my face.
My Alice.
Mine, mine, mine.
Alice ran one hand through my hair while the other trailed down my body. Her fingers skimmed my sides, then my hips, and slowly made their way to my thighs. When did she get such long arms?
Fuck it, who cares.
She stopped playing with my hair and suddenly cupped the back of my neck, lifting my head up until I was eye level with her. "You're mine, Amelia."
I woke up abruptly and switched on the lamp on my night table.
Sadly, I didn't have Alice in my lap, and she was definitely not making out with me. She was very much asleep on the other side of the room, her back turned to me. I could hear her faint breathing from where I was laying. Her hair was a tangled mess despite its short length, and she scratched under her arm in her sleep.
So ladylike.
Oh, fuck! Who am I kidding, she was really attractive, okay?
I turned onto my side and watched her sleep for a while, as creepy as that sounds. She was so peaceful when she was asleep. I propped my head up with my arm. Eventually, she rolled over so I could see her face. Her features were much softer when she wasn't awake and frowning. The usual crease between her eyebrows was non-existent. No wrinkles under her eyes from glaring at people and, instead, her cheeks looked impossibly soft. Her lips were so pink and her mouth was open a little, breathing out heavy puffs of air in an almost hypnotic rhythm.
If the whole rooming together thing was going to be like that moment, I thought, then I would never get any sleep at all.
Alice mumbled something inaudible, and I stiffened in fear of her waking up and destroying the blissful peace that I had settled into. I held my breath. She frowned for a second, and then her face went back to normal. I sighed in relief.
What time was it, even? I had class the next day. As nice as it was to be a freaky stalker and observe how my crush slept, I did have class the next day and I really wanted to actually be awake for it.
I checked my phone, squinting in the harsh light of the screen. Fucking three in the morning. I rolled my eyes.
I looked back at Alice. I had never realised how nicely the light from my lamp would look on her hair or her face. Her hair was a beautiful shade of yellow-orange from the lighting. Shadows contoured her face so that she looked absolutely stunning. My chest hurt from wanting so badly to be with her. The world had to be pretty damn cruel to put me in a room with the girl I was in love with while our relationship hung in tatters.
Alice muttered something again, this time more clearly. "Am..." I raised my eyebrows. "Amel... Amelia." Her face contorted in a frown. "Amelia."
My heart skipped a beat.
"Amelia... Amelia."
No.
Fucking nope.
I pulled the covers over my head, squeezing my eyes shut and praying that she would stop talking.
"Amelia." She sounded like she was pleading for something. But what? Why was she dreaming about me? "Amelia." I whined and put my pillow over my face.
"Shut up," I hissed.
"Amelia."
"Shut up." Who even talked in their sleep? That was fucking weird. Not to mention she actually had her goddamn accent in her sleep talk. You know, the one that drove me insane. That little drowsy voice from across the room that made me go out of my mind...
"Amelia, please-"
"No. Fuck this." I got up out of bed. My legs ached when I stood up, but I pushed away the uncomfortable feeling. I wrapped my blanket around my shoulders. Maybe Maddie would let me sleep with her. This was ridiculous. I would never get a good night's sleep in this awful environment. As I turned to leave, I felt a hand brush against me.
"Amelia." I looked down. Alice had stretched her arm out while she was dreaming. Her fingers were curled halfway into her palm. Up close, she was even more gorgeous. What was I even supposed to do with her? I gave into my brain screaming at me to do something and got on my knees in front of her bed. She made her hand into a fist. I rested my fingers over hers. "Amel..."
"I'm here." I lifted her hand and pressed a kiss on the back of it. "I'm here, Ally. Dammit, I'll always be here." I couldn't help myself. I pressed a kiss on every one of her five knuckles. As weird as it was, her skin tasted so good. She sighed in her sleep and squeezed her hand into a tighter ball. I smiled to myself. If only she were that adorable when she was awake. I coaxed her fist to open up and twined our fingers together.
She murmured my name again. I brushed her hair away from her face and leaned forward to reach her lips. I kissed her. It was pathetic, I know, but if I could kiss her when she was asleep, then maybe I would be able to go the whole day without going insane. "I love you, Alice Kirkland," I whispered, squeezing her hand gently. "I always have, and from the looks of it, maybe I always will. It's pretty lame, sorry. I suck at this whole love bullshit." She didn't respond, thank god. I kissed her on the cheek one last time before getting up and leaving my room, shutting the door behind me.
~•~•~
"So, what exactly are you doing sleeping on the couch?"
The voice was sorta fuzzy at first, but I woke up as soon as I felt pain in my forehead. "Ow! Fuck!" I snapped. I opened my eyes to see none other than Alice standing over me, her fingers still curled up from thumping me.
"Why are you on the couch?" she repeated. I frowned and looked around. Somehow, I had managed to end up in the girl's lounge in the dead of night. Trying to recall the memory, I remembered that Maddie's door was locked, and since there was absolutely no way I was going to sleep across from Alice while she was dreaming about me for whatever reason, I slept on a couch. I sat up, and pain shot through my neck. Wow. Never sleeping there again.
"I just am," I replied. Alice rolled her eyes. "Hey, man. I really don't need you to be obnoxious this early in the morning."
She looked slightly amused. "You do realise it's almost eight o'clock, right?" I widened my eyes. How the fuck did I manage to miss cheer practice? Dammit! "Yes, exactly. Now you see my confusion."
"I don't give a- fuck that couch sucks- damn about your confusion." I stood up and stretched, flinching when my bones popped. Alice looked unmoved. She threw a jacket at my face.
"You're still wearing just a bra and sweatpants."
"Oh, shit!" I was about to put on the jacket when I noticed it was the letterman that I had given to her. I glanced at her. Alice had no emotion on her face. She just stood with her arms crossed. "I forgot you still had this."
"Yeah." She lifted a shoulder. "It's yours."
I looked down at the jacket and then back up at her. I held it out to her. "Keep it." Alice's face finally registered something. She looked surprised. "I told you it looks better on you."
She swallowed heavily before folding it over her arm. "Okay. Thanks."
"Yeah." I wanted to hold her and tell her I loved her or at least thank her for waking me up or something, but I couldn't help but remember when she was in Fran's arms.
They had fit together so perfectly.
I grabbed my blanket and wrapped it around myself. "I have to go. Like, right now." I shuffled off and left Alice standing where she was, my jacket still in her arms.
My heart soared when she wore it all day and in our math, but I didn't have the confidence to tell her how good she looked.
Fran had looked at her funny though.
That was when I stopped paying attention to Alice and focused on my work.
It was easier.