Ready? Not Really.. (Fem USUK) •IN EDITING•

Amelia

Everything was fine until she hopped out of the car.
Dressed up in a skirt and peplum shirt with her hair thrown up into a bun, there was no way I was letting that anywhere near my Alice. Mainly because I wasn't even close to being that nicely dressed.
Fran opened the door of the studio and walked in without a second glance at my Jeep. I exhaled in relief when she didn't notice me, not even knowing I had been holding my breath. Alice was still in her class and wouldn't be finished for a good fifteen minutes, so I had time to confront Francine without the presence of my roommate. No one was in the waiting room, either, judging by the empty seats that were visible through the windows covering the wall next to the door. Fifteen minutes alone in a room with my cousin that had hooked up with the girl I've been in love with for years.
Sounded awesome.
I got out of my car and trudged over to the front door, locking the vehicle before entering the building. Fran sat in the far corner, typing something into her phone. Her fingers were slender and every movement was as if it were planned ahead of time. I swallowed. We were nothing alike. Maybe that was why Alice chose her over me.
Focus, Amelia.
I took a deep breath and let the door close behind me, the bell on the top of the doorframe ringing with my entrance. My back pressed to the wall. Fran looked up to acknowledge the presence of a companion in the empty space, only to widen her eyes when she saw me. "Why are you here?" she asked immediately.
"Why are you?"
Fran frowned and shook her head. "I..." She stood up. "You shouldn't be here."
"Actually," I crossed my arms. "You shouldn't."
"Repeating what I say is not making you seem any more intelligent, Amelia." Fran rubbed her temple with her middle and forefingers.
I heard the girls in the dance session start to talk amongst themselves despite the wall that muffled their voices and separated us. Still, I couldn't bring myself to walk away from the argument. Fran wasn't good enough for Alice. Anyone but Fran. To have my own family member be with her... "Acting high and mighty isn't going to make you better than me," I retorted.
"Finally an original idea." I narrowed my eyes. "Look, Amelia. You shouldn't lead Alice on just to disappoint her. Actually," she said before I could cut in, "that's all you've ever done. Let her down. She's torn herself up and put herself back together because of her so-called love for you. It's immaturity. She's grown out of it, but she's scared to accept the idea that she can move on from a someone that once meant the world. Alice can do much better than a cheerleader that doesn't treat anyone with respect, much less her."
I opened my mouth and then closed it again. Every word was like a dagger to my chest. Was I supposed to just go against what Fran said? Alice couldn't love me. Compared to her, I was like a tiny little bug in a garden of beautiful flowers that I would never be able to touch. A seashell surrounded by vast oceans. A leaf that fell from a tree branch. She was so much and I was so very small. Alice was complex, with each layer of her personality needing to be dissected and then another layer was waiting underneath that. I was just an annoying teenager.
"Fran?" a voice from behind me said. I got a chill down my spine at the shock of being snuck up on and whirled around. Those green eyes that I had fallen for stared at me and then at my cousin. "What are you two talking about?"
"The subject of interest, chérie," Fran chirped, tilting her head to the side and smiling like nothing she had said ever happened. "You asked me to come and talk to you, non? So here I am."
I looked from her and then to Alice in surprise. "You what?"
Alice rolled her eyes and hopped out of the doorframe she was standing in. "Telling me you want to discuss what I texted you over a week ago isn't exactly an excuse, Francine." She ran a hand through her bangs and, when she removed it, her hair stuck up everywhere. It was cute, in a way. I couldn't help but smile despite the circumstances. "Why are you here?"
Francine looked at her and then at me. "It's... not important at the moment. You two go back to your dorm. I won't bother you." She gave a tired smile to Alice before turning and walking back outside, the bell jingling as if it were oblivious to the tense atmosphere.
Alice frowned and shook her head. "I swear to god, it's as if she enjoys adding drama to everything."
"Yeah..." What Fran said was still reeling in my mind.
I would never be able to be half the girl that Alice deserved.
I had never respected her, and I was furious at myself at the realisation.
Was our relationship really in tatters?
She looked worried and tucked her hair behind her ear. "What..." She took a deep breath. "What were you guys..?"
"Nothing important!" I lied, plastering a fake grin on my face. "She just got pissy that I drove you here, that's all. It's cool, y'know? I don't really care if you two are screwing around or whatever. None of my business!"
"Amelia-"
"I'm gonna go sit in the car, okay?" I pulled out my keys, trying to keep my hand from shaking. "You can get changed or whatever. I'll wait."
Alice looked confused and hurt, but she turned and headed to the bathroom without another word, her head bowed and her bag's strap balled in her fist.
As for me?
I broke down as soon as I slid into the passenger's seat.
I had felt my face grow warm while I was still walking to my car, but when the door closed, I felt something got on my cheek. Touching my face, I realised it was a tear. Wet and round, sliding down my face slowly. My throat started to close up. I didn't know what to do, who to talk to. I just sat alone in my car silently crying, gripping the steering wheel tighter than my hands could handle. My knuckles were white and my fingers were tingling after a few seconds.
The pain was beginning to get unbearable. I wanted to hold Alice tight in my arms and have her all to myself, but here I find out that after years of chasing after her, she was with another girl all along.
I wiped my face, but it just grew wet again.
The front door opened too soon for me to really do anything to hide that I had been crying a few seconds earlier. Alice looked up at the sky and frowned deeply, giving me a little bit of time to rub my eyes. I looked back at her, but she seemed in a daze. Following her eyes, I saw that she was staring at a bird making its nest in the big letters announcing the studio's name above the door. Her lips turned up in a smile as she watched it fly away, and I had to smile back. She was weird, but I liked that about her. Her spaciness was what made her Alice. Stopping long enough to admire small things everyone else would overlook... It was another reason why I loved her.
She trotted over to the car. I jerked at the sudden thought I had and jumped out, running over to open her door for her.
"You don't need to do that every single time, Amelia," she laughed, shaking her head. I shrugged and pressed my hand on her back, guiding her to her seat. Her body was warm underneath my fingertips, and I could feel her muscles tense with my touch.
"It's just common courtesy, you know?" I got back in my seat and shut the door behind me. My face still felt pretty puffy. I just had to hope Alice would still have her head in the clouds so that she wouldn't ask what was wrong.
"I suppose." She buckled herself in and watched out the window as I pulled out of the parking lot and onto the main road.
The drive was quiet, only interrupted by the soft hum of music coming through the stereo and cars rushing past us. Scenery flew by in blotches of color; reds, greens, browns, and oranges. Alice was hypnotized by it, not speaking once as her eyes stayed glued to the glass beside her head.
Eventually, Alice's fingers laced with mine. Her hand filled a space I didn't even realise was empty until she was there, reminding me that she was the only perfection in my own little world. When we stopped at a light, I lifted her hand up to plant a kiss on her knuckle.
"You're a geek," she said quietly.
"Okay."
"Yeah."
I leaned over and kissed her on the lips. Warm and soft. They were just as inviting as their usual pink plumpness seemed. Better, even. Her lips parted a little and she took in a shallow breath, high pitched and desperate. She never seemed so vulnerable, so... So real. I moved in and laid my one free hand on her cheek, wanting to touch her and feel her and-
Honk!
"Shit!" I broke away from her and took my car out of park, tearing past the red-light-turned-green. Alice laughed lightly, her voice broken apart by gasps as she tried to get the air she had been lacking only moments prior.
"You should watch the road, Amelia."
"Shut the fuck up, Alice."