Ready? Not Really.. (Fem USUK) •IN EDITING•

Alice

A/N:
you guys are so supportive and yet I'm just a sad egg that writes this to blow off steam
here's a fun fact.. the opposite of albinism is melanism, whereas, instead of white fur/hair, it's actually like pitch black
let's imagine Gilbert with pure black hair now, shall we

do you know how hard it is to not have your otp together yet so you can write sloppy fluff and kisses and cuddles do you
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I may have a tendency to overreact, I will admit that.
I may also have a tendency to get over emotional over something Amelia may bring up and, as she'd probably put it into her fantastic vocabulary with a span of about twenty-six words, "blow up."
I also have a tendency to not apologise no matter what.
"It's completely understandable what happened," Maddie said quietly. She was sitting on my bed, working out some calculus problems with my friend, Sakura. Well, by work out, it was more like the occasional frustrated grunt from the former and the soft reassurance from the latter that, after this year, she'd never see another problem like it again.
"I suppose," I replied, only half paying attention to what she was saying and I rummaged through my dance bag. Class was in about a half hour, and I'd yet to find the laces that fell off my shoes the week before. "It's not like I feel bad, or anything."
"I didn't say you did."
"It was mainly Amelia's fault, as usual."
"Okay."
"She never knows when to stop talking."
"Sakura, do you have any idea what the answer to this is?"
"I am pretty sure it is x equals four square root... something," Sakura murmured, tapping the eraser of her pencil on her paper. "But I may be wrong."
"And she's so irritating!" I continued, throwing my hands into the air. "How can anyone stand her?!"
"You've had a crush on her for, like, eight years," Maddie said simply, looking over Sakura's shoulder and copying everything she had written down, not even bothering to question it.
"Against my own will!" I said, sighing. I threw a gatorade into my bag halfheartedly. "It's not like I asked god to torture me my entire life or anything."
"Mm. Keep in mind this is my sister we're talking about." Maddie frowned. "Do I have to copy that drawing of a colossus Titan or..?"
"No no," Sakura said, frantically covering her doodle.
"I know it's your sister but.. how come you're so much more mature?" I groaned, laying on my back and looking up at the ceiling. A poster I'd gotten from a showing of The Nutcracker was tacked up there. I really didn't appreciate how the prince looked at me like that. "It'd be much more bearable if she was like you.."
"I dunno." Maddie gave up on her homework and shoved it into her backpack. "Thanks for the help, but I still really suck at this. I might ask Amy for some help later, too."
"You're welcome," Sakura said with a small smile.
"Go ask Amelia for some advice on how to destroy your self confidence while you're at it," I grumbled, turning onto my side and facing away from my friends. "She's the expert."
Maddie sighed and grabbed her bag, the keychains clinking together as she walked to my door. "You guys will look back at this and laugh when you're married." She left before I could bother saying anything, closing the door a little too roughly behind her.
"Great advice," I mumbled.
"She does have to listen to two people complain about each other all day," Sakura offered quietly. I had almost forgot she was still there. "It must get old."
I shot her a glare before I sat up and started packing for my ballet class. Honestly, the last thing I wanted to do at the moment was drive across town to rehearse for a recital that I'd been practicing for six months, but I'd already committed to it. And the classes were super expensive. My mum would be giving me angry phone calls if she knew I skipped.
"You do know that she likes you back, right?" Sakura said out of nowhere. I turned to look at her. "You may not believe it-"
"I really don't."
"-but she is just as head over heels as you are."
My face started to burn, and I turned my back to her so I wouldn't embarrass myself. "Well, she doesn't act like it, now does she?"
"Neither do you."
I grunted and picked out a black leotard and tights. The last thing I needed was to be reminded of how frustrating it was to think about Amelia.
Just..
Don't think of her name.
"I need to go before I'm late," I said, wanting to end the brutal conversation.
Sakura looked up at me almost like she was disappointed. "Of course. Do well."
"Thanks."
I scuffled out of my room and gripped the strap of my bag tight, staring at the ground as I walked towards the front door. I swear I heard someone say something about me loving arson.
There was actually a black spot with a diameter of about four feet on my wall where my microwave exploded. Four fucking feet. I don't think an arson would want the constant reminder of being a disappointment staring at them whilst they sleep and the smell of burnt corn in their room for the next month, now would they.
Burnt corn.. Standing in the hallway with blue eyes looking at me with concern for a change.
Just don't think about her.
Just don't.
Speaking of disappointment.
"Where the hell are my car keys," I mumbled, patting my pockets and looking on the floor around me.
"Alice!" I spun around. Sakura was standing in my doorway with my cringeworthy Doctor Who-themed lanyard (I got it in eighth grade, alright?) holding all my keys around her wrist. "You forgot something!"
I made the long walk of shame back to my room and took the lanyard from her. "Thanks."
"Of course. And.. Alice?"
"Yeah?"
She placed a hand on my shoulder. "Please try to take it easy."