Ready? Not Really.. (Fem USUK) •IN EDITING•

Alice

I really didn't get that many chances to talk to Amelia the next few days. Between practices with long hours and juggling schoolwork from multiple classes, I just couldn't make time for her. Not like I didn't think about her; I just had to focus on more pressing matters, such as not letting my GPA drop from an almost perfect 3.9 to a bloody 2.0. My mother would destroy me if she checked my grades to see that.
Amelia seemed a little down throughout the week. She was always all smiles when I walked into our room, but that faded away quickly when I announced I had to leave immediately.
"Alright, just text me if you need anything, 'kay?" She usually said before turning back to a book.
Strange, but honestly, strange was our entire relationship. Hell, we didn't see each other a lot during the day but, somehow, we were still sleeping with each other- not in the really good way but still good. If sleeping next to your friend every night was a normal thing in some foreign land, then I would have loved to live there.
"You and Ames still good?" Maddie asked, bringing me back into reality. She had offered to drive me to the dance studio for my final dress rehearsal, and we would meet up with her weird, new friend, Lovina. I had waved to the girl when we made the plans and was greeted by a sneer.
"Hmm?" I hummed. "Yes, of course. Why wouldn't we be?"
Maddie shrugged. Her knuckles had started to turn white from gripping the steering wheel too aggressively. Odd for her. "Amelia just says you haven't talked much in a while."
She didn't say you two haven't talked much, she said I didn't talk much. Was Maddie actually pinning something on me that I can't control? My stomach turned with anxiety I didn't know I had had. "Well, I mean... With the recital and school, I can't exactly sit and flirt with Amelia for an hour and a half."
"I didn't mean that," Maddie said. She started to sound annoyed. "Amelia has to go through cheer performances once a week and do homework, but she still makes time for you."
I narrowed my eyes. "You do realise I'm not dating her, right? I don't need to clear a block of my schedule for Amelia every single day-"
"Well maybe you should be dating her!" Maddie snapped. "Because you know she loves you, don't you?"
I stiffened. "I don't know what you're talking about. Doing the 'Amy loves you, Ally' thing doesn't work on me anymore-"
"You heard her say she loves you, Alice. I know you did." Maddie sighed and rubbed her face with one hand. "God, it was so hard for her to talk about that, and you were sitting there listening to her the whole time."
I sank into my seat. Somehow, Maddie always had the ability to make me feel like a small toddler that smashed their mother's vase or whatnot. Guilty, that is. "Yes, so? I thought you would be thrilled that I know about Amelia's feelings." Amelia's feelings... That was a phrase I don't think I had ever said out loud.
"I am, Alice. I just wish you would come clean and tell her that you feel the same way." Maddie glanced at me out of the corner of her eye. Her eyebrows were drawn in concern. "You guys are going to have a very strained relationship if you keep trying to hide your feelings from each other. I thought you would've confessed by now."
I frowned. "I don't know how, and I would rather not sound like a middle schooler being all flustered around their crush with Amelia."
"She wouldn't give a damn," Maddie said. "If anything, Amy would be ecstatic. She doesn't care how you both start dating as long as it just happens."
I looked out the window, suddenly unable to look her in the eye. It was already embarrassing to talk about my feelings, much less having to listen to Maddie discuss her sister's feelings. "I want to hear it from her face to face," I said quietly. "That she loves me, I mean. I've waited long enough, yes, but I can wait a little longer. Amelia at least owes me that." I felt sick at the thought of how much longer I had to go without being able to say how I really felt, but I didn't want my pride to be hurt. I was desperately in love with Amelia, and if she told me she felt the same to my face...
God, that would be perfect.
"Can't you convince her to tell me herself?" I asked.
Maddie shrugged. "No."
Shit, did I make her mad? "Please, Madeline. I really want-"
"She already decided to by herself."
I was glad I wasn't drinking anything or I would've definitely choked. "Excuse me?"
Maddie smiled slyly at me. "Mmhmm. Amelia told me so. She's going to tell you, and you better confess or I'm going to go after you, Alice. Don't you dare break my sister's heart."
"No. God, fuck, no. I'd never even consider that." Suddenly, the car felt too small. I wanted to get out and run all the way back to my dorm so that I could hug Amelia close. "Christ, Maddie. When is she going to..?"
"Okay, I've already totally betrayed my sis here, Ally. I can't tell you anything more. You have to wait." Maddie grinned at me cheekily. "You said you could wait, right?"
I rolled my eyes. As if I wouldn't give anything to jump Amelia right then and there. "You little bastard. Trying to make me feel bad just to tell me something good and then... then that. You're something else, Maddie."
"Gotta live up to being Amelia's twin, right?" she said. "I'm like that really shitty in-law, y'know? I just mess around with you."
"At least you'd be a tolerable in-law," I laughed, throwing my arms around my friend. "You cunning little prick."
~•~•~•~
Lovina was already waiting for us when we parked in front of the studio. She was frowning at her phone, typing something with her thumb. When we got out of the car, Lovina glanced up, and her expression immediately soured. "You're twenty minutes late, assholes." I noticed her clothes were wet and raised my eyebrows.
"Did it rain or something?" I asked, looking up at the sky. It was blue with minimal clouds. Huh. Interesting.
"No, shithead. I was waiting for you two and the damn sprinklers went off and drenched me." Lovina scowled and picked at her wet t-shirt. "I'm freezing."
"You, ah, know you could've just waited inside?" Maddie pointed out weakly.
Lovina opened her mouth to make a biting comment, realised Maddie was right, and clenched her hands into fists. "Whatever."
I didn't actually know why Maddie had invited Lovina along. The dark-haired girl was pushy and aggressive, so I didn't see what good she would be sitting around and moping my whole rehearsal. I noticed a bag by her feet and frowned, pointing at it. "What's in that?" Lovina raised her eyebrows at Maddie who immediately explained.
"I didn't tell you?" She asked. I shook my head. "Lovina is a really good makeup artist. I thought maybe she could help doll you up for your rehearsal since it's the last one. She'll help during the actual thing, too, right?" Lovina shrugged and rolled her eyes. "Yeah, see? She's interning for some really famous Hollywood makeup artist that moved here."
Wow. I couldn't imagine anyone giving Lovina orders without getting their head ripped off. "Damn. Impressive."
"It's nothing special," Lovina said, but she looked pleased by my compliment. With a Lovina that was no longer completely pissed off for no reason, Maddie, Lovina, and I entered the studio.
Most of the girls in my dance troupe had already arrived a little earlier than me. One or two were still missing, so at least I wasn't the last one there. A few were gathered in front of the wall-to-wall mirrors that took up the whole front of the room and doing their makeup, while some of the girls grouped in pairs did their friends' makeup themselves. I felt a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach. Somehow, many of my dance-mates had heard that I was lesbian a few years back and refused to change with me in the same room. That hatred had only grown until any friends I had had before in the studio stopped talking to me. Even now, the only looks I got were frowns.
Miss A appeared out of nowhere and clasped my hands. "There's my star student!" She said more cheerily than usual. More glares were directed my way. "Did you make sure to bring your costumes?" Maddie lifted her arm behind me, showcasing the dresses wrapped in trash bags. "Perfect. Go get changed."
"Ah," one girl piped up. "Michelle is still in the dressing room..."
Miss A raised her eyebrows. "So?"
The girl closed her mouth then opened it again, gaping like a beached fish. "So, Alice should, um, wait for her to get out since, you know..."
"No, I don't know, Sarah. Please fill me in" Miss A crossed her arms and stared at Sarah expectantly.
I felt awful. It wasn't like I could control my sexuality. There were times I would've killed to be straight and normal. But I had accepted that I couldn't change how I felt and just had to deal with the hate directed my way. Maddie put a hand on my shoulder in reassurance, and even Lovina looked angry.
"She's..." Sarah trailed off, only to be provoked by my teacher to speak up. "She's lesbian, Miss A!"
Silence.
I kicked at the ground and stared at a wall, my face heating up. Miss A didn't look the least bit fazed when I glanced at her. "And?" She tilted her head. "Is that all?"
Sarah frowned. "I.. I mean, yeah, but-"
"Good!" Miss A clapped her hands. "I thought you were going to tell me how disgusting she is for loving whoever she wants! I, myself, am pan, so I would rather not have to tolerate such strong feelings towards a minority group." Anger flashed in her eyes, something absolutely terrifying for someone so small.
Sarah's face turned bright red as she stood up and stormed off to the bathroom. I swivelled towards my teacher, astonished at her lecture. "I didn't-"
"It doesn't matter, Alice," Miss A said with a shrug. "Really." She watched the door slam shut behind Sarah. "I'm just doing what someone once did for me." With that, my teacher went to go scold some students for sitting on their dresses and wrinkling them.
"Damn," Maddie breathed. "Your teacher is awesome."
I smiled slightly and nodded in agreement.
~•~•~•~
A quick change and ten minutes of fussing and arguing later, I was seated in front of the wall-to-wall mirror, my back resting against the glass. Lovina sat in between my legs, delicately applying makeup with the precision of a surgeon. Each brushstroke was intentional, and every breath she took was timed so that the movement of her chest didn't affect the position of her hand. Lovina was stubborn and moody, but that exterior melted away when she transitioned to doing her talent.
"Don't move your eyes," she commanded as she dabbed away a smudge of liquid eyeliner. "It messed me up."
"I'm really not," I said, frustrated at having to sit still for so long. Normally, I didn't wear any makeup except for maybe concealer to hide my freckles, and any excitement I had previously felt towards the dress rehearsal had quickly vanished. My nose itched, and when I scrunched my face, Lovina started grumbling in some other language.
Wonderful. I just loved makeovers.
It took long enough to smooth out the skin tones of my face and apply blush, and it was twice as long before my eyes were done. Lovina narrowed her eyes as she applied to final touch: dark red lip stain. "And..." she said, drawing out the syllable. "Done." Lovina put the lid back on the lipstick and tucked it away in a small, rectangular pocket in her tote bag. "Alright. You can look at yourself." She scooted away from me and revealed my reflection.
And... Holy shit.
I reached up to touch my cheek, but Lovina slapped my hand away. "No," she hissed. "You'll mess it up!"
Maddie clapped her hands and grinned. "You look amazing, Alice!" she said. "Let me take a picture!"
I must've looked like an idiot in the shot. My mouth hung open as I continued to stare at myself in the mirror. I looked one hundred percent different. The dark circles that usually outlined my eyes were replaced with fair skin and black eyeliner, and my usually pale lips were bright and vibrant. "Jesus Christ," I murmured. I couldn't remember the last time I looked even half that nice. "I see the whole 'makeup artist' now."
"I like doing actual makeup artist shit like blood and gore and whatnot," Lovina sighed. She packed all of her things away into her bag. I was surprised that little cloth thing could hold so many supplies. "But thanks," she added after a long moment.
Maddie was typing away on her phone, smiling softly at the screen. "Wait till Amelia sees you."
"Oh, god, no," I said, leaning over to try and stop Maddie. "She wanted it to be a surprise!" Maddie raised her eyebrows at me, unconvinced. At least her thumbs stopped moving. "Really. She insisted."
She hesitated for a few seconds and looked as if she was debating whether I was lying or not. Honestly, Amelia had only told me not to let her see the "final product," as she referred to me in full-blown costume, until I was on stage performing. So... I guess this was kind of close to that, right? "Fine," Maddie said reluctantly. She tucked her phone away into her pocket. "Fine. You're no fun."
I breathed a sigh of relief.
"Alright, ladies!" Miss A announced, raising her usually-quiet voice so that everyone could hear her. "I hope you're all fully prepared! After discussing for a bit with my student teacher-" a small girl beside her waved shyly. "-we decided it would be best if we all head out to the theatre the actual recitals will take place in!" All of the dancers groaned, including me. As if anyone wanted to haul thirty different costumes and drive a bunch of obnoxious girls halfway across town to the theatre the studio had rented out. "I know, I know. It isn't ideal, but this really is for the best, alright? As Lili said to me earlier, if we don't learn the differences between our studio and the theatre floor, who knows if we might mess up?"
Maddie leaned in to whisper in my ear. "What exactly is she talking about?"
I shrugged. "It's just a large pain in the ass."
"Oh." She paused. "You want me to drive you again?"
"God, yes."