Ready? Not Really.. (Fem USUK) •IN EDITING•

Amelia

Alice <3 <3: Hello, Amelia?
I laid on my back and stared at the screen of my phone. I remembered feeling it buzz in my pocket during third period, and my heart had practically done a backflip.
Alice. Texted me.
Holy shit!
Okay, so it might have just been a simple 'hello is this the right number' thing, but still. Alice!
What do I send back? What if she just felt bad and texted me because I was so weird about the whole running-into-each-other thing? Oh, god.
I decided to just say it was me, and we could go from there.
You: oh hey dude! yeah its amy :D
Perfect.
It was as if my chest wasn't super tight and my heart wasn't pounding. Awesome.
I waited for a few seconds. The screen started to turn dark after a little bit, but I tapped it as soon as it tried to turn off.
Then a minute passed.
Then two.
Then three.
What if she was ignoring me? I was so dumb to go and spit out all the weird stuff when I ran into her! She probably thought I was a freak.
My phone vibrated.
Alice <3 <3: Oh, good. It's the right number.
Of course she texted with absolute perfect grammar. What a dork. I covered my mouth and grinned.
You: haha yea.. it's me ;)
My thumb slipped and pressed send before I finished thinking through my message. Fuck.
Alice <3 <3: Yes.. I can see that.
I felt my face turn red in embarrassment even though I was literally by myself in my room. It was amazing how well her sarcasm could leak through the phone.
You: ha.. so anyways when do u want to talk?
Alice <3 <3: You still haven't exactly said what it is you want to discuss.
Alice <3 <3: You sort of, oh I don't know, grabbed my arm and wrote your number in permanent marker. I can't get the ink off, by the way.
I flinched.
You: whoops haha! hope u arent too mad about that..
I thought for a moment.
You: i mainly just wanted to apologise for being a douche the other night and bringing up.. yea. that was a rly low blow
She didn't reply for a few minutes, and I almost thought she had just gotten annoyed and turned her phone off.
Alice <3 <3: Yes. Yes, it was.
Alice <3 <3: An apology over text isn't as effective, you know.
You: well every time we get together irl, shit hits the fan
Another pause.
Alice <3 <3: Such a lovely way to put it, Amelia.
You: well it's true! and then all the cheerleaders are douches on top of that!
Alice <3 <3: Weren't you the one that encouraged them to be douches?
I really fucked this up, didn't I?
I groaned and rubbed my face. If only Maddie were here. She was, like, the love expert. Her and Gil almost never fought.
You: yea about that.. i really let everything get out of hand. i really wish i could take it back, you know?
Alice <3 <3: Well, sadly, that's impossible at the moment.
I didn't really know what to say. I honest to god never wanted anyone to treat her badly.
She texted back before I could say anything.
Alice <3 <3: I just wish I could know what I did to make you hate me.
Alice <3 <3: Because I can't think of anything.
You: i never said i hated you!
Alice didn't reply. I sighed loudly.
You: i was just a dumb kid trying to figure shit out, okay? my best friend had.. you know, and i was really confused and angry.
You: but ally?
Alice <3 <3: ...Yes?
You: i am really sorry for all the crap ive put you thru
Alice <3 <3: I.. forgive you.
I cheered and threw up my arms.
Not like anyone was here to see me.
I honestly think my roommate was out smoking weed or something.
Alice <3 <3: I'm sorry for kissing you back then.
I wanted to text her that I didn't care anymore. That I wish she were with me at that very moment, and that I could just hold her and beg her to be with me.
I wished she would kiss me over and over again and smile like she did when she was talking to Maddie or working in class with her earbuds in or when I saw her out of the corner of my eye sitting on the bleachers during cheer practice.
But I didn't tell her any of that.
I didn't think I ever would.
You: it's ok