Ready? Not Really.. (Fem USUK) •IN EDITING•

Alice

It might as well have been a date.
I was as nervous as a middle schooler asking out their crush on Valentine's day. It was horrendous. She was literally just coming over for maybe half an hour to do my math homework with me, and yet my stomach was twisting and turning like a fucking worm.
I checked the time on my phone. 4:31. Where the hell was she? How dare she be late? She hadn't texted me she would be late.. Did she blow me off?
My phone vibrated, and I scrambled to open up the incoming message.
How disappointing, it was just Francine.
Fran: I'm telling you, chérie. Amelia is going to break your heart.
Me: Fuck off, frog. You don't know that.
Fran: Oh, but I do.
Me: I think you need to keep your nose out of my business for once.
Fran: Aren't you the one that always begs for me to be very "in your business" in bed? ;)
Idiot.
I didn't have time to deal with her. I turned my phone on airplane mode so she would shut the hell up and plopped down on my bed.
My eyes drifted to the math book on the floor. The pages were spread open, and it was horrifying to see math problems outside of class.
Why did I even bother? I hated math. Might as well have been Arabic. I'd probably understand that better. Amelia would probably just think I was an idiot for not being able to get it like she did.
Before I had a chance to back down, there was a knock on my door. I panicked and tripped over myself to answer it. "Fu- Coming!" I unlocked it and then flung the door open.
But it was just Maddie. I glared at her. She smiled sheepishly and waved. "Heya."
"What are you doing here?"
"Y'know."
"No I don't, that's why I asked."
She lifted a shoulder. "I wanted to wish good luck before your first big date! It's a pretty big step in you and Ames' relationship. Next will be engagement."
"My god.. It's not a date, Maddie," I sighed, rubbing my face with one hand. "If anything, it's just going to be me getting frustrated and Amelia being clueless. It'll end up with her stomping off. Again."
"With drinks," she added, gesturing to the half-empty two liter soda bottle on my desk. It was probably three months old and flat. I didn't care for soda. It wasn't even my bottle. I think it was Maddie's.
"You're hilarious."
"I try." She looked over at something I couldn't see from my room. "Speaking of date-"
"Shut up, Mads," I heard Amelia grumble. She popped up in my doorframe a second later, looking as charming as ever.
"You look like you just rolled out of bed," I said. Her hair was in a messy bun, and she was wearing a t-shirt three sizes too big with lounge shorts. It would've looked disgusting on anyone else, but it was Amelia. She looked somewhat endearing.
"I did."
"It's almost five in the afternoon."
"Siesta."
I rolled my eyes.
Maddie patted her sister's shoulder and beamed at me. "So I'll leave you both to it! Have fun, kids! Stay safe."
"Safe from what?" Amelia asked, frowning.
"Y'know." Maddie kissed her on the cheek. "Bye sis! Bye Ally!" She walked away from us with a skip in her step.
I looked at Amelia.
She looked stumped on what to do now. "And then there were two," she said dumbly.
"So it seems," I agreed.
We stood in the same place for an awkward moment.
"You're blocking the way in your room."
"Fuck, sorry." I moved out of the way. Amy shook her head and went into my room. "Didn't you bring anything?" I eyes her carefully. She actually had the audacity to drag herself over here with absolutely nothing. Not even her own damn homework.
"No?" She stood in the middle of the room. "Dude, nice setup. You have the room all to yourself?"
I looked around. It wasn't anything impressive, and it was probably smaller than a normal dorm room, but Amelia looked mildly curious. "Yeah, I do."
"How'd you manage that?"
I raised my eyebrows. I was starting to get impatient. "Nobody wanted to room with me since I'm lesbian."
Amelia blinked. "Oh."
"Yeah."
"So you're a hundred percent lesbian?" she continued. It was hard to read her face. She wasn't smiling or anything. "Like, no dudes?" She sat there with a blank look. I crossed my arms.
"Yes, I am. Are you a hundred percent straight? No girls or anything?"
"I..." Amelia looked at the ground and shuffled her feet. I was surprised. She usually would've shot back at me by now. Why was she being so weird? "Sorry. So, what now?" She asked, completely switching topics for whatever reason.
"I don't know. You're the tutor." I sat on my bed. "So tutor me."
"Well, I've never done this tutoring shit." She scooped up my math book from the floor and sat beside me. Her leg was pressed up against mine, and loose strands of her hair brushed against my face. Warmth radiated from her like a heater. I shivered. "What exactly don't you get?"
You, I was dying to say. Fucking make up your mind about your feelings for me before I go insane.
"Pretty much everything," I said instead. "Nothing makes sense."
"Don't be too specific," she said sarcastically.
"I'm serious, Amelia. I really don't understand this class."
She frowned. "Then why'd you take it?"
"You need calculus to pass," I said.
"Not AP calc, you don't. Switch to a regular class."
If I switched, you wouldn't be there. "I made a commitment, so I'm afraid I have to stick with it."
"Alrighty, Miss Commitment." Amelia scooped up my math book from the floor. "I guess we gotta get you to pass then, huh?" She set the textbook in between us. I glanced up at her face. She was practically centimeters away. Just one wrong tilt of the head and our lips..
I could always say it was an accident.
I shook my head to get rid of the thought. "That... would be ideal."
Amelia smiled. "We'll get you there, then." She brushed a piece of hair out of her face and pushed her glasses up her nose. "Okay, so do you have any idea where you started to, like, not understand stuff?" I opened my mouth to answer, but she interrupted me. "I swear to god, do not say day one."
She stole the words right from me. "Shit," I breathed. "How did you..?"
Amelia's smile grew wider. "You want to get to know me, and I want to get to know you. I'm trying my best." She scooted closer. "Where'd you start to get lost?" she repeated.
It was hard to focus when she was so close. "Uhh... chapter eight.. ish?"
"Chapter eightish. Great. That's a start." She flipped through the pages. I watched as her eyes skimmed each page. Her eyes.. It was pathetic how easily they could put me in a trance. I swallowed hard. "Okay, found chapter eight. Explain the 'ish' part."
I racked my mind for what I didn't get, but it was like my brain had just stopped working. I shrugged weakly. "I, uh, completely gave up around the whole section about integration.. It really doesn't make sense. Like, the definite and indefinite integrals." Amelia tilted her head. "Or whatever." I felt like an idiot.
"Nah, I got you. We learned that early on, though."
I shrugged. "I gave up early on."
She frowned. "Well, that's not cool." Amelia patted my knee. "Guess what?"
I looked at her hand then at her face. "What?"
"Today, you're gonna learn integrals."
I raised my eyebrows. "Good luck with teaching me that." She ignored my comment and, instead, pulled out my binder (without asking, mind you) and rummaged through it. "What exactly are you doing?"
"Hush." Amelia perked up and pulled out a blank piece of paper. "Perfect!" She flattened it out on top of my math book. I watched curiously. "To be totally honest, Ally, I'm surprised you don't get math."
I frowned. "Why?"
Amelia shrugged. "I mean, you're a rule follower. Like, you seriously cussed out that one kid last week when he put gum under his desk."
"It was disgusting!" I sighed in frustration. "I just hate math. You either get the right answer, or you completely bollocks it up. There's no middle ground."
Amelia smiled slightly. "Really? That's how you feel?" I nodded. "That's funny. I always tell Mads the same thing about English. There's no right answer, and I still suck. It's just totally insane."
"It's not insane," I argued. "There's no wrong answers, and whatever you decide to write about is correct because there's freedom of expression. Teachers just want you to express your opinion in a certain format. It isn't that difficult, really."
She shook her head. "It still sucks."
"Math sucks."
"You suck."
I glared at her. "Fucking teach me math already."
"Christ. Chill out." Amelia started to scribble down a problem. Her handwriting was interesting, to put it nicely. Maybe if somebody with no hands wrote like that, then it would be acceptable. She finished and put it in front of me. "Solve it."
I stared at the numbers and letters. "I have no idea how. I think you made a problem harder than the textbook's."
"Don't just say 'I don't know.' Try, dammit."
I squinted. "It seriously makes no sense, Amelia."
"Well you won't fucking get it by stari- Jesus, Alice, you can't even see it with all your hair in your face."
"Don't be a..." I trailed off as Amelia leaned forward and intruded my person bubble. I could feel my hair being pushed behind my ear, the locks tickling my skin. Every sense was heightened. Her face seemed so clear right in front of mine.
She was so gentle. How could someone so spastic and energetic have a touch so light? It was impossible. And yet.
I could see very, very well. There wasn't any hair in my eyes anymore, but she was still playing with and tucking it behind my ears. Her lips were at eye-level. They were pink and glossy. Was she wearing lipstick? Fuck. It was almost painful how close she was.
"Better?" she asked, her voice quieter than I'd ever heard it.
"Yeah," I breathed. "Better."
"Okay." She stayed in the same place. Her eyes drifted to my lips. Maybe I wasn't looking right. "Okay."
"Uh huh," I murmured. Why was she so close? She invaded everyone's personal space, but never like this. Never...
Her hand reached up again like she was going to mess with my hair again, but she just let her fingers rest on my cheek instead. Now it was definitely painful. My chest was tight, and my throat felt like it had completely closed off. "Amelia," I started. "Amelia.." My brain refused to form full sentences. It was like everything I ever learned was thrown out the window, replaced with just these lips and my fast heartbeat.
"Yeah?" Her blue eyes were still locked in the same place.
"Math?" I said weakly. "We were.."
"Fuck math." I was about to say something. I think I was. Or maybe not. I can't remember.
Because that was when her lips pressed into mine.