Ready? Not Really.. (Fem USUK) •IN EDITING•

Amelia

"I love you, Alice."
No, ew. That was a horrible way to start off.
"Err..." I paced back and forth, trying to find the words to express the emotions swirling around in my head like a hurricane that never went away. My hands were sweaty and, my face was most likely bright red. I noticed the script was in a crumpled ball in my closed fist. Taking a deep breath, I unfolded it and read through it again. I was so dumb! I should have just spared myself from embarrassment and waited until I was actually smart enough to think of what to say.
I sat on the edge of my bed, depressed and humiliated despite the fact that I was the only one in the room. My dress was pretty on the hanger, sure, but on me, it only made my curves stick out more. I picked at the fabric, annoyed that it clung to my hips so tightly. Maddie was a dick for letting me pick this out to wear. I'd be better off in jeans and a sweatshirt.
"Knock, knock!" I heard Maddie say happily as she walked in. Alice must've already been dropped off, then. I felt bad for feeling relieved. Maddie closed the door behind her. "Oh, good. You're not naked or anything."
I rolled my eyes. "You're hilarious."
She giggled and shrugged, liking her own joke. Maddie noticed the look on my face and frowned a little. "You okay?"
"Fine. Why?"
"You seem way pissier than before." Maddie walked over and sat beside me. She looked nice in her dress. It was loose and hung off her hips. Blue and black. We were almost wearing complimentary colours. Maddie was a freak. "What's up? Cold feet?"
"Cold legs," I grumbled, trying to rub warmth into my arms. Why did I have to wear a dress with straps? God. It wasn't like Maddie would let me wear a hoodie, either. "Do I really have to do this myself? You're the wingwoman. If Alice is so in love with me, make her do it."
Maddie looked annoyed. "You're the one that's been a piece of shit for ten years. She deserves to hear your feelings from your own lips."
I groaned and flopped onto my back. "Can't we do this another time?"
"No."
"Fuck." I shook my head. "This is a nightmare."
Maddie sighed and got up. "You're doing it and that's final. It isn't fair to Alice."
"It isn't fair to me!" I snapped.
She crossed her arms. "You started this mess, Amelia. You both could have been dating by now, and you'd be happy. But no."
"I was a kid," I grumbled. "What the hell did I know? I didn't think I'd be in love with a girl when I was straight."
"Yeah, you were a stupid little kid. I get it. That doesn't justify being a jerk for the additional nine or ten years after that." Maddie looked out the window. "I was the one that had to sit and watch my best friend cry because she had no one else on her side. That was your fault. All of it."
I looked down at the floor. A pair of heels sat beside my feet. I glared at the shoes and kicked them away. "I know. Trust me. I've best myself up over it everyday. You don't need to tell me."
"Then just fucking tell her why you did it," Maddie practically begged. "You're being so stubborn about this! Just tell her! It isn't rocket science! Say you're sorry, then admit why you were a dick. Easy as one, two, three."
"Sure, it's easy for you to say." I rubbed my temples. "What if I ruin it? Dating her, I mean. What if I fuck that up, too?" My stomach hurt at the thought of making Alice so mad that she wouldn't talk to me again. I wanted to be with her so bad, but I wasn't prepared for the thought of us being one of the short, high school romances my mom always talked about. I wanted us to be something more. Something important.
"I doubt you will," Maddie reassured me. "Gil and I are good, aren't we? And we were in the same situation. Well," she smiled sheepishly. "She didn't bully me or anything, but we needed the extra push."
"I get it. Stop bringing it up."
Maddie's smile fell and she stood in front of me. "We're going to be late if we don't go soon," she said. She held both of my hands tight. "We won't get good seats."
I nodded weakly. "Yeah."
"C'mon, sis." Maddie pulled me onto my feet. "You look amazing. There's no way you can be turned down in a dress like that."
"Hopefully." But she ignored me as we left my room and went out into the hallway.
~•~•~•~
Gil had met up with us before we headed to Maddie's car. Her and Gil matched perfectly, both wearing blue and black dresses in different styles. I felt anger in the pit of my stomach when I saw Maddie on Gil's arm, and it intensified when they kissed before Maddie got into the driver's seat. How did Maddie manage to get a girlfriend before I did? She was shyer and never wanted to stand out, yet she was dating the complete opposite of herself. I was furious that they were dating, furious that they were cute and absolutely in love, and furious that I didn't have that. I tried to smile when waving them off to drive to the theatre, but I felt like I was a total fraud. There was no reason to be angry at my twin for finding someone she loved, and I was aggravated at myself for feeling that way.
I tried I shake it away as I climbed into my Jeep, slamming the door shut behind me and taking a deep breath before starting the engine. I glanced at the passenger's seat. If everything went well and as planned, Alice would ride home with me and we'd live happily ever after. Unless, of course, I decided to pussy out of telling my feelings to her.
I groaned and slammed my fist against the steering wheel. Dammit! Why did I have to have feelings? Everything was so much harder when my emotions were on the line. How could I have let myself fall so hard in love with Alice? I didn't even like girls!
I thought of the indents of her cheek when she would smile, and how her nose always scrunched up when she was thinking, and I was quickly reminded of why I loved her.
"You're an idiot," I grumbled to myself, turning on the radio to some local pop station and cranking the volume all the way up.
But nothing could mask the fear and confusion inside of me.
What if we broke up?
I stiffened and gripped the wheel tighter as I pulled out of my parking space and drove around the school.
The thought of not being able to talk to Alice was unbearable. What if we managed to actually date and shit and then I fucked it up and she dumped me? I sure as hell wasn't ever going to be the one to do it, so she would have to break us up. We couldn't be friends or whatever if that happened. Everyone always acts like it's possible to be buddies with your ex, but Alice and I weren't anyone, by far. A straight girl dating the gayest girl ever. And with raw emotions from the past, my mistakes, and her actions on the table, if any fight started to go south, we'd be fucked over. It would be impossible to fix something like that.
I shook my head and got onto the main road, narrowly avoiding getting hit by a car before driving towards the theatre. What even was the name of the theatre? My eyes widened. That would suck if I got lost, but I was sure that I would be able to eventually find my way. After all, I was pretty good with directions, if I did say so myself.
I was still convinced even after I drove in circles for half an hour, passing zero "theaters" but a bunch of movie theaters. Up until I checked the time, I was stubborn and refused to get directions. Alice was so important to me, and I wanted to be able to get to her recital without help. My eyes drifted to the digital clock on my dashboard, and my stomach sank. I was already ten minutes late. Alice's group performance went on third, and considering the songs each lasted three minutes, and I was on the total opposite side of the hemisphere...
Well, I was royally fucked. My phone was dead, and I was stupid enough to get a car with no GPS since it cost less. Defeated and steadily growing depressed, I looked for a close place to pull over. There was a little strip mall with the lights on in just one of the stores: a floral design company.
I hopped out of the car, grabbed my letterman jacket (it had managed to make it's way to Alice's bed sometime in the past few weeks, and I had to search for a bit before I could find it), and ran inside.
The interior of the store was warm, temperature wise. The walls were painted a disgusting mustard yellow that made my skin crawl, and chipped murals of swirls and different types of flowers stretched across the shoppe. Cute and convenient. Well, convenient for me, at least.
A girl with brown hair pulled back into a bun was scribbling something in a book behind the front desk, wearing an apron with the company's logo on it. She looked up in confusion when I walked in, but her face quickly melted into a smile. "Oh, ah, welcome. I'm afraid we're closing up, but we're open Mondays through-"
"Okay, yeah, look," I interrupted, surprising the flower girl. "I am super fucking late to this recital thing that a girl I like is in- fuck, she doesn't know that so don't tell her- and I really, really need directions to whatever theatre she's at. Can you please help me?"
Flower girl looked overwhelmed, but she nodded quickly. "Of course!" She rushed around the counter and pulled out her phone. "Here, just put in the name of the theatre." I hesitated, and she frowned. "Do you not know it?" When I stayed silent, she continued speaking. "Then, um, look up theatres nearby. There must be something." Flower girl walked away before I could thank her, so I was left to search for wherever the hell Alice was. I sighed when a familiar looking venue popped up. And it was only a few miles away down some back roads. I must've passed near it once or twice.
The girl came back with a large bouquet of beautiful, red and white roses in her arms. Maybe she was working on them? I didn't bother thinking about it. "I got it. Thank you so much."
She smiled. "Of course. Do you need to print directions?"
"No, geez. My sister will have my ass if I don't get over there ASAP." I started out the door. "Thanks for your help."
"Ah, wait!" I turned towards flower girl, agitated that I couldn't go. "Here." She shuffled forward and handed me the roses.
"Why?" I asked, frowning at the bundle of flowers. "They're amazing. Don't you need them?"
"Not nearly as much as you do." She sensed my confusion and continued, "The girl. The one you like. They're for her."
I blinked a few times. "Are you serious?"
"Yes!" Flower girl shrugged. "You're late. That's your apology." She walked with me to the door. "I hope it's enough."
"Hell, it's more than enough." Why hadn't I thought of flowers? This must've been all of her nicest roses. "You're awesome. What do I need to pay you for it?"
"Oh, nothing. Please." She brushed a strand of hair behind her ear. "Just ask the girl you like to be your partner. Think of that as payment."
My face heated up, and I tried to hide it by lifting the flowers a little. "Oh, um, yeah. I'll do that for you..?"
"Carmen. I'm Carmen." She bounced on her toes and grinned.
"Amelia," I said. I lifted a shoulder and smiled sheepishly. "I'd shake your hand, but mine are sort of covered with stems and leaves."
"Alright, Amelia. Have fun!" Carmen held the door open for me since my arms were full. "Yay! I totally hooked you up!" Her face was alight with happiness. Strange. She didn't even know me. "Go get her!" I left the store, and Carmen locked the door behind me.
Alrighty then.
But hey, flowers were an awesome way to woo someone.