Ready? Not Really.. (Fem USUK) •IN EDITING•

Alice

a/n
so leonardo dicaprio...
HE GOT A FUCKING OSCAR WHAT THE FUCK
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Now she wouldn't stop following me.
Sure she had done it plenty of times to be obnoxious and get on my nerves, but that wasn't the case this time.
I spun around and glared at Francine. She ran into me as soon as I came to a halt. Surprise registered on her face as if she didn't expect me to realise how strange she was acting. "What the hell is wrong with you?" I straight out said, annoyed at her behaviour. I didn't like not knowing what was going on in her annoying little head. Not knowing meant she was a step ahead of me, and I refused to ever be in the dark about something Fran knew.
"Nothing," she said. Sure she sounded casual, but the response was too quick, and she didn't do the eyebrow raise she usually did when she blew off my questions.
"Fran," I said. "I'm being serious."
"As am I, chérie." Her face had no expression anymore, her mouth set in a straight line and her eyes half lidded as usual. There was something off. I narrowed my eyes. When I thought about it, her shoulders were unnaturally stiff, and her face was flushed. "Enjoying the view?"
"Answers, Francine," I snapped. "Or I swear to god I'm going to find a way to get them from your pretty little head."
Fran looked mildly amused. "I would love to see you try."
We sat at a stalemate for a few seconds.
Then I dragged her out of the hallway and into Amelia's room. The aforementioned girl was currently in the restroom, according to her extremely poetic words of "fuck it I'll be right back, gotta pee really bad." Hopefully, she would stay in there so I would be able to talk to Fran without interruption.
It was dark in the room. The blinds had been shut since the temperature was unbearably warm with the sun beating down from outside, but little strips of light found their way onto the ground. Despite it all, I could see Fran's eyes clearly. A chill went down my spine at the emotion hidden behind those blue pupils.
"What's up with you?" I asked softly, closing the door and pressing my back against it. "You're acting weird- well, weirder than you usually do."
Fran tilted her head. "I don't know what you're referring to."
I sighed in frustration. Getting information out of her was about as easy as trying to bathe a cat. "You've been way less sarcastic for the past few weeks. And last time we-" I took a deep breath. "We were together, you seemed really down." I pushed myself away from the door. "So, what's up, you frog?"
She blinked at me.
I narrowed my eyes. "Well?"
"Nothing is wrong." Fran brushed a piece of hair away from her face. "Nothing at all. Everything is just fine. What is it your Amelia would say? 'A-Okay.'"
Ah.
"So it's about Amelia?" I guessed. She sounded extremely condescending when she had said her name, as if it were something bitter she had to spit out. "I really don't understand why you don't like her. She hasn't done anything."
Fran raised her eyebrows. "She has been horrible to you for so long, but now you think she's the best person because she had a 'change of heart.' People don't change, Alice. I've never changed, now have I?"
This was not taking a good turn. "No," I said slowly. I didn't see where she was going with this. "You're just as obnoxious as when I first met you."
"I'm being serious."
"I am, too."
She finally broke and just shook her head, eyebrows furrowing. "But you could do so much better!" she exclaimed. Fran always said that, but now it was different. It was as if she had been brooding on the subject. "You could get any girl you want! You're smart and beautiful and have that annoying little sarcasm thing going on. You can find yourself the perfect girlfriend if you would just stop torturing yourself over this one girl you loved in kindergarten!"
"I love Amelia," I said. "I've tried dating other people-"
"Try again!" She threw her arms up in the air. "I don't care who! Date my other fucking cousin if you want!"
"Date you?" I shot back.
Fran stayed quiet for a moment. "If you wanted," she murmured.
Oh.
Oh, no.
No, no.
I stumbled over myself as I backed up against my bed. The back of my knees smacked against the frame, and I put out my hand to catch myself. My injured palm from earlier was pulsing. "Christ, Francine," I breathed. "You aren't-?" She took a deep breath and rubbed her temples, answering my question. "Christ," I repeated.
"Ah," she said, smiling sadly. "You see my problem now, no?"
"Sex..." I shook my head. "It doesn't mean anything. People have sex all the time. Nothing. It doesn't make it love-"
"I know that."
"Then fucking find someone else!"
Fran took a step forward, and I took another step back, the corner of the bed digging into my side. "I can't," she said feebly. "I've tried. I-I can't."
"Try harder." I looked at the door then back at Fran. "I'm hardly anyone to like, you know. You yourself could do better."
She smiled a little. "Using my words against me?" I had nowhere to go when she made her way in front of me. It was too late to make a beeline to the door. Fuck.
"Maybe I am," I said. Anything to keep this conversation going until I could find a way out. I didn't have the time or energy to deal with this. "You know who I love. Hell, everyone knows!"
Her hands found their way to my hips. Usually I wouldn't care, but now... Now it was like a stranger was touching me. I couldn't make myself move away. I looked up at her. Fran sighed.
"I think our current arrangement is... No longer going to work," she said.
"You think?"
Fran shot me a glare before she kept talking. "If you want, I won't bother you about this again." My heart pounded hard against my chest. "I swear it."
I didn't know what to say.
No one had ever actually... Been in love with me. I'd never had to turn anyone down because no one ever had the time of day to pay attention to me like that. What was I supposed to do?
"I don't know," I said. "I don't know, Fran. You're one of my best friends. What the hell am I supposed to say?"
She smiled almost endearingly. "Say nothing, if you wish."
Fran leaned forward and captured my lips in a chaste kiss, pulling me closer by my hips. We'd kissed plenty of times, but this was completely different. Before, there was just lust. Now there was...
Her fingers crept under my shirt. I grabbed at her wrists, but she was kissing me so good and pressing me in all the right places that I couldn't react properly. I groaned when her hips dug into mine. I loved Amelia, yes, but I couldn't have her, in more ways than one. Ever since I saw her getting dressed on accident, my mind had wandered back to her body over and over again. All of the frustration and thoughts hidden away could come out when I was with Fran like this. It was wrong, but I didn't want it to be. I told myself it was normal to feel urges and occasionally act on them, but this had all gone too far. Our relationship was like an addiction, and now it had destroyed one of us.
She pulled away after a while and pressed her forehead against mine. "I love you, Alice," she said softly.
And that would be when I heard something drop.