Ready? Not Really.. (Fem USUK) •IN EDITING•

Amelia

"I fucked up."
Maddie looked up from her magazine and at me. "Yeah."
"Like, really fucked up."
She rolled her eyes. "No kidding."
I looked up at her.
We were in her dorm room. Posters of various arctic animals were posted on her wall. (Maddie had this weird obsession with endangered animals, especially ones that lived in freezing temperatures. Honestly, I had no idea where it came from.) Her bed was neatly made, and she sat on top of it while she read, meaning I was stuck on the floor.
"I think there's something wrong with me," I continued, even though she was paying very little attention to me. "It's like my brain insists on being a dick every single time I see her."
Maddie glared at me, then went back to reading.
I sighed in exasperation. "Look, I know she's your friend-"
She slammed her magazine shut. "You need to stop treating her like that. Bringing up the past was extremely low, Amelia." I flinched. We never used our full names with each other. "She's a good friend, and you're my sister, but I'm not going to be you guys' middle man. Talk to her or just move on."
I played with the zipper on my jacket. It was a pretty rad jacket, if I do say so myself. It was a letterman jacket. Real leather, even, with my name stitched into the front of it. I had always heard that dudes would give their girlfriends their jacket whenever they were playing a game so that they could cheer on their lovers.
And I had always wondered if Alice would wear mine.
She'd look good in it. Extremely good.
"Amy," Maddie said, snapping me out of it. "Either figure this out or leave. You're stressing me out."
It felt like she slapped me. My sister? Kicking me out? She never did that, even when we did live together. "But I don't want her to know I like her."
"Being polite doesn't mean you're insanely in love with her." The door opened, and Gillian peeked her head through the crack. "Just take a look at Gil for example."
"Why are we looking at Gil?" The older girl waltzed over to her girlfriend, leaning down to give her a peck on the cheek. Maddie instantly looked relaxed.
"You're not polite."
"Oh. Eh, yeah." Gil plopped down beside her. I raised my eyebrows. She copied the gesture. "Hello, Romeo. How's your Juliet?"
I rolled my eyes. "She won't look at me."
Gil just grunted. "That's your fault. Don't be a douche." She made herself at home on Maddie's bed, laying on her stomach and taking over the pillow. I didn't really want to think about how often they were on the same bed together.
"I'm not trying to."
"Alright, if you say so." Gil stuffed her face in the pillow. Maddie gave her a look before turning back to me.
"Go say you're sorry. Again." She shook her head. "And stop being such a jerk. Eventually, sorry won't do anything."
Gil tugged on Maddie's sleeve, and my sister almost immediately gave her a chaste kiss on the lips.
I decided to leave before I threw up.
~•~•~•~•~
I couldn't find Alice in her dorm. I had knocked a few times, called her name, and even checked the bathroom around the corner, but she was nowhere to be found. Secretly, I was thankful for that. It would be so awkward once we actually ran into each other, and I wanted to cherish the moments leading up to that.
One of the cheerleaders- Chloe, I think- was coming down the hallway. I jogged over to her.
"Have you seen Alice?" I asked. Chloe wrinkled her drawn-on eyebrows together.
"Uh, no. Why would I be around that creep? She'd probably flirt with me or something." My stomach turned in anger. "And why do you care where she is?"
"I was just wondering. I wanted to talk to her about something."
Chloe scoffed. "How about asking why she burnt down her dorm?" She looked around, then leaned closer to me. "You know, I've actually heard she's a satanist."
My eyes widened. "What?"
"Yeah." Chloe looked pleased at my undivided attention. "I bet she was doing an exorcism when she caught her room on fire. That would be something she'd do."
I could see people start to come around the corner. I remembered it was almost lunchtime, and I wanted to get out of the halls. I really didn't want a bunch of other people hearing that my crush worshiped Satan.
"I gotta go, Chloe," I said quickly. "I'm gonna go for.. uh, a jog. Yeah."
Chloe looked a little confused. "Oh. Okay then? It's pretty cold out.." She shrugged. "Just stay away from Alice. She'll give you a bad reputation, Amy. You and the other cheer girls." Chloe walked away and joined some of her other friends.
I stared after her before going back to my dorm to get some things together.
Maybe I would go for a jog.
A very long jog.
I needed enough time to get my thoughts together.
I needed..