Ready? Not Really.. (Fem USUK) •IN EDITING•

Amelia

A flash of colour.
A smile brighter then any star in the sky.
"What are you looking at?"
She was gorgeous. Every single inch, every single blemish and imperfection just added to the beauty that was my Alice. The freckles that spanned across her face, the subtle curve of her button nose, the indents on each side of those pink lips.
I loved it all.
"You."
Alice raised her eyebrows, and her smile grew wider. Despite that little smirk, a slight blush spread on her cheeks. "Oh? And do you like what you see?" She was close enough for me to feel the puff of each breath she took, yet I couldn't move in to kiss her, as badly as I wanted to. My body yearned to hold her close and never let go, but my limbs refused to work.
"Yes," I gasped. "Yes, I do."
She tilted her head. "Then why won't you kiss me, Amelia?" Her hair fell in front of her face, hiding her eyes. My hand itched to brush it away.
"I want to."
"Then do it." Alice put her hands on my shoulders. Her touch was gentle, her thumbs slowly making their way into the indent of my shoulder blades. I shivered. "Kiss me, Amelia."
I still stood frozen. Fuck me! Why couldn't I move?
Alice moved forward and brushed her lips against my cheek. "Kiss me," she repeated. She left a trail of kisses down my face, on my nose, and finally at the corners of my mouth. Every place she touched was on fire. The world faded away until all I could see was the girl in front of me. "Well?"
"I would if I could," I said through gritted teeth. It was almost painful that she was right there and I couldn't touch her. I wanted to feel her skin under my fingertips. Her hair, her face, I needed to touch something.
She just smiled as if she understood my frustration. Of course she found it funny. Alice was still an asshole under all the attractive facade. "Yeah?" She asked, hands making their way to my neck. My breath hitched.
"Yes, Alice. Christ." Everything inside of me was screaming to move. Move!
Alice laughed lightly. "I suppose I have to do the first move, then, since you're too embarrassed to do so, as usual."
"As usual?" I asked, trying to sound mad. It was hard when all I could think about were the pair of lips right in front of me.
The pair of lips that were inching their way to mine.
Fuck.
Fuck, yes!
I closed my eyes in anticipation.
Nothing came. I opened one eye.
Alice was frowning. "What's that noise?"
I jolted awake at the sound of my alarm clock going haywire.
Bzzt! Bzzt!
Oh, fuck, no.
This could not be happening.
I slammed my hand down on the snooze button, groaned, and covered my face with my hands, screwing my eyes shut. Maybe if I just fell back asleep fast enough, dream Alice would still be there, and we could have that super awesome make out session.
Drowsiness fell over me despite my extremely pathetic excitement over kissing a nonexistent version of my crush. I could feel sleep start to overtake me once more as my eyes drooped shut.
Then my goddamn phone started buzzing.
"Motherfucker!" I shouted. Who the hell even called at- I checked the clock- seven in the fucking morning? I picked up my phone and practically punched the 'answer' button. "I have no idea who this is or what the fuck could you possibly want, but hurry up."
"Christ, Amelia," my sister's voice said as it came through the phone. "Aren't you a morning person?"
Just what I needed. An annoying sister to start my day off right. "Look, Maddie. I love you and all that shit, but I was having a really great dream until you decided to utterly ruin it, so just say whatever the hell you called me to say, alright? Alright."
There was a brief silence before she answered. "Okay... I was just going to ask if you heard the announcement, but I guess not since you were asleep."
I squinted. "What announcement? Is it free pizza night? Didn't we just have one of those last week?"
"No, Amy." Maddie sighed, making the phone crackle in my ear. "The roommate thing."
"What are you even talking about?" I stared up at the ceiling at the American flag pinned up. Man, did it look great up there. Alice had told me on multiple occasions how 'utterly moronic' it was to put the Stars and Stripes everywhere, so I replaced all of her bed sheets with the American flag the very next day. Pompous piece of British shit.
"The roommate thing," Maddie repeated. "We're getting new roommates this semester. Well, anyone needing a roommate, that is."
I raised my eyebrows and looked over at the empty bed on the other side of my room. My roommate never actually used her room. I don't think I had even seen her since that semester began. Her side wasn't decorated at all. I always just assumed she was out getting high with her buddies or whatever. She smelled like weed the only time I ever saw her. "I have a roommate."
"Not according to the sheet."
"What fucking sheet, Maddie?" I was starting to get impatient. It was way too early to think about anything. "Stop using codenames and all this bullshit and just tell me."
"You're paired with Alice, Amy."
My heart stopped.
And I'm not exaggerating. Like, I couldn't feel any blood going to my head for a good ten seconds. "I what?"
"You're paired with-"
"No, I heard you perfectly the first time." I sighed and closed my eyes. "This cannot be happening."
"Why not?" Maddie asked. She sounded way too awake. "This could get you two together, finally."
"Because I already have a roommate-"
"Not according to the paper."
"And I'll probably have a panic attack and die if Alice is living with me." I took a deep breath. "I'm just going to make myself look like an idiot in front of her. Oh my god, and she'll be sleeping literally like ten feet away. What about when she's getting dressed-?"
"You're over thinking this," Maddie sighed. "I mean, I think it's awesome. If Gil and I were roommates, that would be, like, heaven." She paused for a second. "But if you're really this freaked out over it, you could always talk to the dorm advisor and ask her to switch you. Or, hey, even better, talk to Alice about it. Just say you aren't super comfortable around her yet and discuss boundaries."
Damn, she was smart.
"Alright." I shook my head. "Thanks, sis. You're the best."
"That's not all I called about, though. We need to talk more about the journal situ-"
I hung up immediately.
~•~•~
By then, it had become a routine to hold Alice's hand everywhere we went. We'd greet each other in the hallway, exchange a few sarcastic comments, and she would eventually end up with her hand in mine. Usually I hated everyday occurrences, but there was no way I'd ever argue with this one. We never acknowledged it, and neither did anyone else. I was grateful since there was no way I would be able to come up with a good excuse for why we did it.
"So, did you hear about the whole new roommate-pairing thing?" Maddie asked my crush as soon as we were all together. I couldn't stop thinking about Alice's lips and that little smile she had worn in my dream. The details had faded away by the time I had gotten ready for the day, but I still had remnants that stuck around and screwed with my head.
Alice looked confused. "What does that have to do with me?"
"You don't have a roommate," Maddie reminded her.
"I'm not supposed to have one because... you know." Her grip on my hand became tighter. I stroked the back of her hand with my thumb, and she relaxed almost immediately. That was surprising. Alice had a stick up her ass most of the time, and she had called me annoying more times than my actual name. I wouldn't have thought she would ever calm down around me.
Maddie shrugged. "You have one now."
I tensed.
Alice looked absolutely bewildered. "No one wanted to room with me. There were so many complaints because of my sexuality that I was put with myself. I've told you this a million-"
"Alice. You have a roommate."
"I really don't. I can't."
"You do," I interrupted. "We can check the sheet."
My crush frowned at me. "What sheet?"
I looked at Maddie. "I have no idea. Mads just said there was a magical piece of paper hanging up that lists all the room pairs."
My sister rolled her eyes. "There is, despite the sarcasm dripping from your every word." She pointed to a group of girls gathered around the events bulletin board hanging up on the wall near the lounge. "I bet you they're looking at it." She lifted a hand and called out to one of her friends on the other side of the hallway. A girl with wispy brown hair and hazel eyes came skipping over.
"Hello, Madeline!" she said cheerily. "Oh!" The girl looked at me and tilted her head. "There's two Madelines. That's odd."
Maddie smiled, and she looked like she had dealt with the airhead before. "This is my twin, Feli. The one I told you about?"
"Oh okay." Feli still looked dazed. "Hello, Maddie's twin!"
"Amelia." I waved slowly. "Hiya."
Feli glanced down at Alice's hand in mine, then back up at her face. "Are you two-?"
"So, Feli!" Maddie cut in, saving me from being absolutely mortified. "Have you seen the list yet?"
The other girl perked up even more, if that was humanly possible. "Yes! I have! You're still with the same person, I'm still with Lizzy, and-" she frowned at me. "-Amelia, right? Okay, you were at the bottom of the list with some girl named Alice, I think."
Fuck.
I didn't have time to process what she was saying, and I royally fucked up.
Alice's hand dropped from mine. "What?"
"I said she's paired with-"
"I know what you said." Alice pushed her hair back. "That's, uh..."
I watched Alice closely. Her face had gotten pale, and she was shaking her head. "Dude, are you alright?" I asked slowly. Why was she the one freaking out? If anything, I should be having a heart attack. I was the one with the big, fat crush on her.
I never stopped thinking about Amelia.
My heart pounded faster.
That was what she wrote, right? In her journal, only a little while ago. Maybe she hadn't changed. Maybe the whole kiss thing when we were kids was real, this relationship was real, and I could be with her. For the first time in a while, I thought that maybe, just maybe, I would get the courage to ask out my crush.
"I'm fine," Alice said, interrupting my thoughts. "Just... not used to having a roommate."
I slung an arm around her shoulder. "You'll be fine! I promise not to bite!" Alice raised her eyebrows at me, but didn't try to move away. That was good, right?
Maddie looked extremely proud of herself for being the self-proclaimed wingwoman, like a mother bird watching its children fly. No, really. She'd used that analogy before and everything.
Feli just looked utterly oblivious to the weight of the situation.
"Just stick to your side of the room," Alice said finally.
I grinned.
Hopefully, I would be able to break the rule soon enough.

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a/n
isn't everything going fine and dandy?