Ready? Not Really.. (Fem USUK) •IN EDITING•

Alice

A/N:
you guys rock okay
I was having a sucky day bc I was super self conscious but your comments really cheered me up <33
here's a quickie that I wrote in, like, an hour ;)
~•~•~
Life was a little more interesting when you had your crush's phone number.
Amelia: lol xD I can't believe youve never heard of putting mayo on pizza
I smiled at the buzz and flipped onto my stomach, burying the lower half of my face in my pillow as I texted back embarrassingly quick.
Me: That sounds absolutely disgusting! Who in the right mind would even consider that?
Amelia: dude it's fuckin amazing
Me: Mayo is meant for sandwiches! It's a wonder you haven't lost all of your brain cells, really.
Okay..
So I still had the tendency to be extremely sarcastic in all of our conversations.
Hey! It was a bad habit!
Amelia: thanks a million. love u too
My heart pounded, and I immediately got angry at myself. She was just joking! Calm down, Alice!
Me: You are so very welcome.
I put down my phone and took a deep breath.
It would literally just take a few key taps, a few strokes of the finger, and she would know I loved her.
Literally just that.
Maybe five seconds?
No way I'd ever do it, but still.
I stood up to go out, but when I reached for my usual coat, the hook was empty.
What the hell?
I searched my room for a few minutes before realising I gave it to Amelia.
Fuck me.
Me: So I may have just realised you still have my jacket, Amelia.
Amelia: o shit! dude totally sorry about that. i didn't lose it, no worries. u want it back now? i can come over or something..
Me: As nice as the offer is, my room is a right mess. I don't want you to get lost in my room when you're just trying to be friendly.
Amelia: like mines any better
I looked around. Dirty clothes were basically piled up the wall in the corner of my room, and a few empty bottles were scattered around my bed. A great way to leave a first impression.
Me: I think it'd be better if I just went over there.
Amelia: whatever floats your boat. im not moving anytime soon so come whenever you want
Me: You know you have to go to calculus, right? We have it in an hour.
Amelia: ughhhhh i know. you wanna walk to class together? mads is prob gonna come too
Me: That sounds good.
Amelia: coolio. see you later ;)
I smiled a little to myself. I was so glad I had her number now. Everything before seemed to be so dull, but Amelia made the world brighter. She was full of the energy that I just didn't have. I think we were the definition of opposites attracting.
Maybe I should just go get my jacket now?
Yeah.. That seemed good. If it meant seeing Amelia sooner.
I was such a sap, really. It was disgusting at times.
I grabbed my bag and made my way to the door, almost forgetting to grab my lanyard with my dorm key on it. Not like I've done that before. Or did it multiple times. I'd had Fran pick my lock so many times, and she never ceased to call me a space cadet.
That stupid patch of burnt wall stared at me as I walked out the door. I'd tried to hang a poster over it, but spots of black still peeked out from under the paper.
"Fuck you," I said bitterly.
Thankfully, the wall didn't say anything back as I stepped outside.
I slung the strap of my bag over my shoulder and trudged down the hall. Amelia's room was on the other side of the dormitory, which was unfortunate since it meant I never got to run into her coming out of her room. We didn't even use the same bathroom. I guess that was a win-lose, though. I don't think having her see me naked would be nearly as great as the other way around.
I ran into a cheerleader in the hall on accident, too wrapped up in my thoughts to notice her. It was the same one that had completely interrupted my moment with Amelia the previous day.
"Watch it, creep," she sneered.
I glared at her. "Careful, your face might freeze like that. Not like it's any different then how you usually look."
"Asshole."
"Prick."
She pushed by me, her heels clicking loudly against the linoleum as she stomped away. I rolled my eyes and went up to Amelia's door.
I glanced at the whiteboard hanging at eye level.
Amelia's room ~<3 Just come in, I probably don't feel like getting up
Her handwriting looked like she rushed through it, but it was still endearing. All of her i's weren't dotted and, instead, had stars on top of them.
Nerd.
I smiled.
Unconsciously, I opened the door, knocking at the same time.
"Amelia? I just thought I should get my jacket now in case I forg-"
I froze.
No.
No.
No, no, no.
She stood wide-eyed in the middle of her room, face red.
Oh, sorry. Stood in the middle of the room in her fucking underwear and bra.
"Don't look at me!" she shrieked, trying to cover herself with the t-shirt balled in her hands. I spun around and faced the closed door.
"Oh my god, I am so sorry. I didn't- I don't.." I couldn't form a clear sentence.
"Fuck me!" she hissed. "Fuck!"
I wrung my hands anxiously.
Well if she ever had any consideration for liking me, I sure as hell made up her mind now.
"I'm so sorry!" I said again. My voice trembled. "The sign said to just walk in and I'm so fucking sorry!"
She sighed loud enough for me to hear. I covered my face with my hands
Why did the world hate me?
What did I ever do? Honestly.
"It's fine. It's fine!" she said quickly. "Fucking.. I'm fine now."
I turned around to face her. She was wearing jeans and a shirt with some superhero symbol I didn't know. Her face was beet red, as I'm sure mine was. "I'm sorry," I repeated weakly.
"It's fine!" she snapped.
I flinched.
Amelia pulled her shirt down as if she was trying to cover herself more. "Sorry.."
"No, I'm-"
"I know you're sorry. Shut up, Alice."
I closed my mouth.
"I.." she tripped over herself to go pick up my jacket from her bed. "Take it." She held it out with just her pointer finger and thumb as if it was infected. I took it gingerly.
"I.. Thanks," I said stupidly.
Amelia just stared at me. She looked confused. "Okay?"
"Yeah." I sprinted out of her room as fast as I could.
Life sucked.
~•~•~
And of course Maddie invited me to walk with them to class.
Of course.
Not like it would be super awkward or anything.
Oh wait.
It fucking was.
I followed along behind Maddie like she was a mother duck, too scared to walk in front of her and get too close to Amelia.
"You okay?" she asked for the fifth time, stopping to let me catch up. Amelia stared at me blankly, pulling her shirt down again. I guessed that would happen for the rest of my life now whenever she saw me.
"I'm just smashing," I said sarcastically. Amelia snorted.
"Smashing," she repeated under her breath. I looked up at her to see she had been staring at me. We looked away immediately.
Maddie looked between the two of us, utterly bewildered. "Am I missing something here?"
"Nothing!" Amelia and I said simultaneously.
Maddie blinked and just shook her head.
Amelia pulled her shirt down again.
"Stop doing that!" Maddie snapped at her.
"I think my shirt's too small!" Amelia shot back.
"It's huge on you!"
"It's tiny!"
"Why are you acting so weird?"
"I'm not!"
I just lagged behind and listened to them arguing, feeling absolutely mortified. Any chances of actually getting with Amelia were demolished because of my stupidity.
"Stop doing that with your shirt, Amelia! Jesus!"
"You aren't my mom!"
Amelia glared at her, and Maddie just glared right back.
I never felt so tiny and embarrassed.
We walked in utter silence the rest of the way.
At one point, I walked side-by-side with Amelia. Our shoulders brushed together, and she jumped in surprise.
"Sorry," I mumbled.
She swallowed audibly and didn't look at me. She didn't move away, either. "'S fine." Her arm felt warm against mine.
I felt her fingers against my hand, and it took so much effort not to hold her hand and never let go.
But then she did just that.
Her hand found mine and our fingers interlocked. Heat pooled in my stomach. It wasn't a feeling I got very often, but I liked it.
I could see Maddie smiling out of the corner of my eye. "How do you think the calculus quiz is going to go?" She asked nonchalantly. I was so grateful for her not pointing out the tension.
Amelia's palm felt clammy. I didn't know what to think. What on earth do you say in this situation. "I.. uh, it'll probably suck like the last one."
"Yeah," I managed to say.
Her thumb slowly rubbed the back of my hand, and I wanted nothing more than to melt into the floor. Holy shit.
"We could do the seat switching thing again," Maddie suggested. "Remember when we did that in third grade?"
Amelia laughed and nodded. "That was awesome! You totally aced the test for me!"
Why was she holding my hand. Why was she so close to me. What the actual fuck.
"I remember that," I said quietly. I was the only one that could tell they had switched seats. I could always tell Amelia and Maddie apart. They had different eyes. Amelia's were so much more interesting to look at.
Seriously, why were we holding hands? Couples did that. It was a couple thing. We weren't a couple. I wanted us to be a couple. We were doing a couple thing, though. What did that mean?
Her thumb grazed the back of my hand again. My knees were wobbly. "You wanted to tattle on us," Amelia recalled. She acted as if she wasn't about to make me pass out. Her hand gripped mine tighter.
"You shouldn't cheat."
"You shouldn't tattle."
I looked up at her. She was grinning at me, and her eyes were shining.
I could sense Maddie internally freaking out. She was so going to talk my ear off about this later. "Hey, it was third grade," she cut in. "Doesn't really count as cheating."
Amelia practically tore her gaze away from mine to look at her sister. "Third grade was great."
"Uh huh," I hummed. I wanted to kiss her so badly it hurt.
But no way.
Noooo way.
Amelia and Maddie kept on chattering while I just walked alongside them. It seemed like a lifetime before we got to the right building for our class. But it felt like just a few seconds, too.
Not once did I let go of Amelia. She didn't let go of me, either.
Not even when we reached the right room. Her grip loosened a little, but nothing more.
"Sit next to me," she breathed in my ear.
"Yeah," I whispered.
And we spent class just like that.
Side-by-side with Maddie sitting behind us. The seats were arranged in pairs of desks, and we immediately took the ones closest to the back of the room. I don't think I heard a single word the teacher said. Since there weren't assigned seats, she barely gave us a second glance when taking attendance.
I never noticed how much Amelia bounced her knee when she was sitting. She flipped her hair over her shoulder a lot, too.
I leaned into her arm. She leaned right back into me.
I swear it was like a dream. A dream I never wanted to end.
My leg bumped against hers. She stiffened then relaxed again.
"This is my favourite class," Amelia said, half to herself.
"Mine, too," I whispered.
She smiled but looked away to try and hide it. I could still see her dimples, though.
Our hands never separated until the stupid quiz.
Who knew education was such a cockblock?
And even then, I could see Amelia's eyes wander over to me every now and then. Her gaze practically burned into the side of my head.
At one point, I looked up to meet her eyes, and we just stared at each other for a solid minute, her eyes wide and her mouth barely opened, until I felt Maddie poke me in the back with the eraser on her pencil. Thank god I had a wingman.
Er, wingwoman.
I finished the quiz a bit after Amelia did. She wasn't looking at me anymore. Her head was turned, staring at the clock, I presume. I saw her fingers moving and was confused for a moment, but then I realised she was braiding a few locks of her hair.
Maddie poked me again. I looked over my shoulder at her.
She was grinning.
"Shut up," I mouthed.
"Get married," she mouthed back.
I tried to glare at her, but a smile snuck its way onto my face
"Alice?" the teacher asked loudly. "Unless you'd like to get a zero on your quiz, I suggest turning around and letting Madeline finish."
I spun back around, smiling sheepishly. "Sorry."
"Yeah, Alice," Amelia repeated sarcastically.
I raised my eyebrows at her, but she just smiled cheekily. "Idiot."
Well, my idiot, hopefully.