Need You (ShinDeku)

Ch. 124 - Arrow

A/N: loving the relationship between Aizawa and Shinso in this fic. Not sure how it developed this way but this Aizawa really feels like the best mentor for this Shinso. If that makes sense.
Have fun reading!

Midoriya's POV

Somehow it's a relief to be back at the dorms, and I'm reluctant to leave our room when we've finished changing. For one, I've caught some last minute nerves about training for the first time in months. I'm worried I won't perform well and I don't want to disappoint anyone. Not only that, but when I go out there I have to talk with Shota about RG's packet that I handed him right before I shut myself and Hitoshi in our room to change.

Of course, there's also the fact that I made plans without telling Shota or Hizashi, and I don't even think I'm allowed out of the apartment without one of them escorting me. Would they allow me to spend time at a classmates home? Would they be okay dropping me off at the risk that a student finds out they've adopted me? Would the whole thing be too much of a hassle? I feel guilty, but I have to ask about it unless I want to cancel my plans with Momo again. I'm really not sure which one would be worse.

Also, well, I've left out some important information regarding the current situation. Hitoshi is most certainly still in our room, but it would be more accurate to say that I am still in our bathroom.

The uniform Hitoshi dug out of our closet for me is the short sleeved one, which makes sense given that we are firmly in summer right now, and it shouldn't be a problem given that both Hitoshi and Shota have seen my arms several times over by now and we're unlikely to run into many others on campus today. I wouldn't say I'm comfortable flashing my scarred up, muscle-less excuse for arms, but I'd certainly gotten to the point where I was used to Shota and Hitoshi seeing them, at the very least.

Despite this I'm feeling incredibly self conscious at the moment, which if I had to guess, is partly due to my nerves about the whole situation in the first place and partly due to my realization that Shota might know I'm supposed to be using scar cream right now. It might just be in my head but I feel like my arms look worse than usual today and I feel certain Shota is going to be upset at me over the situation. If he's upset at me he'll tell Hizashi and then both of them will be upset, and it will be even worse because half of the upset will be disappointment and the other half will be pity.

All of this to say, I really, truly, do not feel in the mood to leave the room right now. In fact it sounds like a rather terrible idea.

"Izuku, you almost ready?" Hitoshi asks through the crack in the door.

"Just a minute," I tell him, staring at my arms, then, "Can you, uh, see if you can find the jacket that goes with my gym uniform?"

It's quiet for a moment. "...you sure?"

"Yeah." My eyes trail downwards and settle on my wrists. Maybe he won't realize? I mean, how good can scar cream even be? It probably doesn't make a noticeable difference. Try as I might, these thoughts did not exactly inspire confidence in myself.

"I don't see it," he calls quietly, "is it maybe not in the closet?"

My head turns sharply towards the door. "It should be in there." My voice isn't as controlled as I would've liked it to be.

"I'll look again." His voice fades as he turns and walks away from the bathroom door again. You're fine, calm down.

I can't bring myself to look back at my arms, so I meet my own eyes in the mirror while I wait. I look pale and tired, and still a little thinner in the face than I used to be. Not much different from when I managed to look in the mirror at Shota and Hizashi's apartment. I doubt it'll ever quite go back to how it was. My hair is another matter entirely, one that I've tried to keep under wraps today with a hair tie. Unfortunately I don't have much experience putting up hair, let alone my own, so it's not a very nice sight. On the other hand the only person I want to look nice for is Hitoshi and that's already a lost cause considering how the rest of me looks, so I don't really have to worry about that.