Be My Forever [COMPLETE]

Chapter 24

It was late at night. My mother let me stay the night at her place, and Toby checked in every once and a while. When he visited, probably for the fifth time that night, I told him that he should stay.

"I'm sorry." I say, feeling ashamed. I felt the terrible feeling of guilt deep within me.

Toby gave me a strange look. "For what?" He asked, placing his hand carefully on my thigh. His hand was right on top of a bruise my dad had left, but I didn't bother to tell him.

"For bringing you into this. I don't deserve you." I admitted. Toby shifted in his seat. I could tell he was thinking of something to say.

"You don't have to be sorry. This is your father's fault." He said, so low I could barely hear.

But this is my fault.

If I was never born, this never would've happened. My parents told me that I'll never be has great as my sister.

I was an accident. A burden. I wouldn't be dealing with a life or torment and pain.

Do I wish I was never born? Yes. Do I wish that I could just disappear without a trace? Definitely.

But he is what keeps me going. He is what makes me feel alive. He gets rid of the empty feeling inside. God, I don't deserve him. He deserves someone who won't bring this much drama into his life. Someone he can settle down with and start a beautiful family.

My mother comes downstairs, dressed for bed. "Spencer, you can have your old room if you want. Your father hasn't returned." She said.

"Actually I want to go home. I want to go back to my apartment." I admitted. This is not where I belong. And I can't risk my father coming back. Who knows what he'll do when I'm asleep.

My mom looks heartbroken. "Well, if that's your decision, then go ahead." She said calmly.

I get up, and I did something that I've been too scared to do in the eighteen years that I've been alive. I hugged my mother. And she actually hugged me back. She no longer smelled of alcohol like I remember.

"I love you, Spencer." She said. I could feel tears forming. I have never heard her say that to me. She never gave me the love every child should have. For the first time in my entire life, my mother told me that she loved me.

And I said it back.