Be My Forever [COMPLETE]

Chapter 47

The rehearsal dinner and the wedding were cancelled. Toby needed time to grieve. He needed to be with his family.

I never knew much about Toby's family. He wasn't exactly open with me about them. There were times he would talk about his mother, who I never met because she died years ago. I don't even know how she died.

Daniel Cavanaugh died of a heart attack. Toby was crushed.

All these years, he's been my shoulder to cry on. Now, he needs me the most. He lost both of his parents.

I've never seen Toby like this before. He didn't even get out of bed the next morning, AKA, the day we were supposed to get married. He didn't eat, no matter how much I begged him.

He laid in bed all day. He wasn't crying, nor was he sleeping. He just laid in bed. Thinking. Looking back at old memories.

He hasn't told me how he's dealing with this, but right now I'm just assuming he needs space. But one of these days, he'll need someone.

-:-

"Hey, babe," I say one morning as Toby wakes up, "do you want some breakfast?"

Toby shook his head. It's been almost a week since his father died, and he hasn't eaten anything.

My heart shattered at the sight of Toby. He couldn't think straight, I could tell.

"Okay, well, tell me if you do. I love you." I say, kissing his forehead.

That morning wasn't any different from the recent mornings since Daniel passed. I made myself breakfast, talked with Aria on the phone, I read a few chapters of my book, and occasionally I would go to the store to get some things, but today I didn't need to. I was bored out of my mind. Toby was what made my day complete.

Someone was at the door. Aria stood there, several magazines in hand.

"Hey," she said, "I thought you might be bored, so I brought these." Aria gestured to the variety of fashion magazines in her arms.

"Thanks," I say, inviting her in. She sets the magazines on the coffee table.

We talked about possible wedding plans, now that we have more time to prepare. Somehow, the subject changed to Toby.

"How is he?" Aria asked.

"Honestly, I don't know. I mean, when I lost my dad, I didn't grieve for this long."

"That's because you weren't close with him," Aria explained, "and you also have to remember that Toby's father was all he had. He's hurting."

I wish Toby didn't have to feel this way. I hate seeing him like this.

To our surprise, Toby emerged from the bedroom. He was still in his pajamas from six days ago, and he was rubbing his eyes, letting them adjust to the light.

"Hey, baby." I said, forgetting about Aria's presence. I give him a huge hug, followed by a kiss on the lips.

"Hey." He said, kissing the top of my head as I hugged him.

Aria figured that we needed some alone time, so she said her goodbyes.

"The funeral's next Thursday," Toby says, "my stepmom just called me."

I couldn't help but feel terrible for him. I wish there was some way I could make all his pain go away.

"Do you need anything? At all?" I ask him. I hoped there was something I could do. I just want to see him smile.

"Just be here." He said, bringing me in for another hug.

"Of course I will." I say, kissing him on the lips for a long time.

Toby finally ate something. I was happy he was finally up and moving, but I still wished that he would talk to me.

"Tobes, you need to talk. Please, just communicate. I need to know how you're feeling."

"Spence, I'm not in the mood."

I try not to beg him. "If you don't express your feelings, it'll just be balled up inside you and one day, you'll lash out." I say.

"Spencer, I'm not talking about this now."

"Please," I beg, "just talk to me. I know it's hard at first, but you need to. I don't care if you yell at me, or cry, or tell me some stupid joke. I need to know how you're feeling."

I try to hold his hands, but he grabs my wrists. It's a feeling that's all too familiar, but new at the same time. I would expect my father to do this, not him.

My hands start shaking as he speaks. "I am not talking about this. Don't force me to do anything." He says, tightly squeezing my wrists before letting go. His voice was different. I never heard his voice like this before. It sounded scary. Almost evil.

Toby left a mark on me.

Bruise-like marks covered my wrists, and I was in a complete state of shock. This was how it all started with my father. He grabbed my wrists.

Toby stormed out the door, leaving me alone in the living room.