Be My Forever [COMPLETE]

Chapter 89

-3 DAYS LATER; THE FUNERAL-

"Spence, are you okay?" Toby asked me. We were sitting in the first row of the church. My mom's casket sat a few feet away from us. It was closed. I didn't get to see her again.

"I'm fine." I said. The crying had stopped days ago. Now I was hit with what I assumed to be depression. I hadn't eaten, which was hard, since this baby was very demanding. I was starving, but I didn't want to eat.

The priest said a few things about my mother. Valerie, who was now hungry, tired, and confused, began to cry.

I picked her up and took her outside. "Shhh. Everything's okay." I said to her, sitting down on a nearby bench. Valerie began to wail, crying and swinging her arms around.

I can't even calm down my own daughter. That's how hopeless I am.

I need my mother.

Before I know it, I began crying too. Valerie stopped and looked up at me. For a second, it was like she was old enough to understand my pain. It was like she understood how upset I was. She stopped crying, and I was convinced she knew. I also knew it wasn't possible for her to understand, since she was barely a year old, but for that moment, I let us have that connection.

-:-

Toby found us after the service. He could tell at first glance that I wasn't okay. My face was tear-stained, and Valerie was more than happy to see her dad.

Toby sat next to me, putting his arm around me. "Let's go get something to eat." Toby said. I would've refused, but for Valerie's sake, and my own, I followed him to the car.

"Are you feeling alright?" Toby said as we got in the car.

"Yeah. But I'll feel even better once we eat." I said.