Be My Forever [COMPLETE]

Chapter 88

"Alright, Mrs. Cavanaugh, everything is looking great. You're about 13 weeks ahead, is that correct?" The doctor asked me, rubbing the cold jelly on my stomach.

"Yeah, that's right." I say. The jelly felt freezing on my stomach, and I still wasn't used to it. I grabbed onto Toby's hand. He made me feel so much more. comfortable.

I couldn't stop thinking about my mom. But I just couldn't let myself talk about it. If I talk about it, I'll break down.

"You hear that?" the doctor asked me. A noise was filling the entire room. It sounded like a drum beating, or someone stomping on the ground. It was very loud.

"Yeah, what is that?" I asked. Toby squeezed my hand. I could tell he was worried.

"That's the heartbeat." She said. Ironically, it felt like my heart stopped.

The heartbeat.

Sure, the baby is the size of an avocado right now, but it's healthy. It's alive.

"We should be able to determine the gender by your next appointment," the doctor said, "we'll see you again in three weeks!"

I got cleaned up, got my clothes back on, and made my way out the door with Toby.

"So... Hearing the heart beating, it's exciting, right?" Toby said, trying to make me happy.

"Yeah, I guess so." I said as we got in the car.

"Spencer, I know something's bothering you. Is this about your mom? It's okay to cry if you need to-"

"I don't need to," I snapped, "and I'm trying not to think about her until the funeral, so just stop trying to make me feel better!" I almost yelled.

I saw how hurt I made Toby feel. I could see the pain in his eyes.

"I'm sorry," I said, "I didn't mean to snap like that. I'm just so stressed out. With my mom, and the baby, and your school, and my job, it's just so stressful." I admit. I feel tears brim my eyes, but I keep myself from crying.

"Spence, if you keep all these emotions to yourself, it'll build up, and one day you'll have a meltdown. I'm telling you now: it's okay to cry." He said, wrapping his arm around me.

And for a few minutes, I cried. It was a mixture of tears of sadness and tears of joy. I was happy that our baby was healthy, but I was sad that my mom wasn't going to be around anymore to see.

I'm never going to see her again. I'm never going to hear her voice. She's not going to see Valerie and this baby grow up. She's gone. Forever.

What was my last moment with her? We haven't seen each other was the wedding. But the last time we really talked to each other was when Valerie was born.

"Oh my gosh," my mother said, completely astonished. Toby handed Valerie over to her. I could see the tears filling her eyes.

"I remember when you were this tiny," she said to me, adjusting Valerie's blanket blanket so she'd be warm, "I never appreciated you enough. I was so young. I didn't know better."

Toby drove us home.

"I'm going to pick up Valerie. Are you going to be okay on your own for a while?"

"Toby, please don't do that."

"Do what?"

"Don't treat me like I'm six."

"I'm sorry."

"I'll be fine on my own."

"Okay. Call me if you need anything."

Toby leaned over and kissed me. He left, leaving me all alone in our house.