Be My Forever [COMPLETE]

Chapter 87

I held it together until everyone left. I kept thinking about Valerie. I held it together for her. But at the same time, she was the reason I wanted to fall apart. She's going to grow up never knowing any of her real grandparents. Sure, she has Toby's stepmother, but that's not the same. All of her biological grandparents are dead.

Why did she have to leave me like this? I don't know how to be a mom. I've been winging it for an entire year. I need her help. I've never felt more hopeless. Why now? Why when I'm about to have my own baby? I can't do this without her.

When everyone left, and Valerie fell asleep that night, I fell apart. Toby was confused at first. At the end of the day, without explanation, I just cried. For all he knew, I was probably hormonal.

"Baby, talk to me. What's wrong?"

"Everything. She's gone."

"Who is?"

"My mom. She died last night." It felt weird saying it out loud. It felt like a terrible, terrible nightmare.

Toby said nothing. He let me cry on his shoulder as we laid on the couch. He told me I was going to be okay. I had to be. I can't fall into the endless pit called depression now. Not when I have a baby on the way. Not when I have another beautiful baby girl to look after.

But for that moment, I let myself cry. I let myself break down. I cried myself to sleep that night.

-:-

I woke up on the couch to the smell of Toby making breakfast.

"Good morning, beautiful." Toby said when he noticed I was awake.

I glanced at the clock. It was 8:37. School started an hour ago. I began to panic, rushing upstairs to get ready. Toby followed me.

"Baby, don't worry about work. I called them earlier and told them about your mom. They're giving you a week off." Toby said. I sighed in relief, and fell onto our bed.

"Where's Valerie?" I asked.

"She's still asleep. Don't worry about anything, Spence. You were there for me when my dad died, and I'm going to be here for you."

"I love you." I said, holding back tears. I have to keep it together. I can't cry. I have to stay strong. I know Melissa is going to be a mess. I can't cry. I have to remain strong.

"I love you more." Toby said, kissing the top of my head. If anything, he knows how I feel. He lost both of his parents, too. He's my rock. He's going to keep me strong.

Toby bent down and kissed my small bump of a belly, then kissed my nose. "You're going to get through this." He assured me.

I really hope so.