Glee One-Shots

Flashbacks

Summary: Santana is pregnant and it brings up flashbacks.

Santana Lopez had been pregnant before. It was before she had even married Quinn. She had been raped. It was the worst day of her life or so she thought. The worst day of her life came to weeks later when she found out she was pregnant. She was shocked and scared.
She hadn't wanted the baby and had decided to carry full term and then give it up to someone else. She had made sure it went to a good person. She had told the adoptive mother to tell the child to never come looking for her because she didn't want to see the child ever again. That same day, she left the hospital and never looked back. She had vowed to herself that she would never get pregnant again.
7 years later, there she was looking down at a positive pregnancy test. A grimace crossed her face. She should of been happy. She had wanted this, right?
She walked out of the bathroom.
"What does it say?" Quinn asked
"It's positive." She deadpanned. Quinn squealed and hugged Santana. Quinn was excited so why wasn't she?
She jolted awake. She had been having the same nightmare for two days. It was him. He was touching her and grouping her. She tried to pull back, but he was to strong. She shook her head and laid back down. She looked over at Quinn. She was fast asleep with her hand on Santana's stomach. She already had so much love for the baby, but why didn't Santana feel the same?
She grabbed the pepper spray and put it in her purse. She hadn't used it in two years, but she suddenly felt the sense that she should put in her purse again.
"Ready?" Quinn came up behind her
"Yup." They walked down the crowded streets of New York. She was careful to not look anyone in the eye. She looked at her feet and followed Quinn. She felt someone bump into her. It was him. He was back. She whimpered and closed her eyes. She opened them a few seconds later and was glad to see that he wasn't there. Why couldn't she move on?
She sat in the couch. She was feeling breathless and she was shaking. She hadn't had a panic attack in 3 years. She tried to calm down.
"In and out, babe." Quinn rubbed her hand. Santana nodded and tried to regulate her breathing. She eventually calmed down.
"Thanks for helping me."
"Why wouldn't I help? I'm your wife. You can depend on me anytime of the day or night. Now, are you hungry?"
"Not really." She mumbled.
"You have to eat something. It's for the baby." The word baby had made her want to puke. She couldn't do this. She couldn't continue to live that way.
Santana woke to Quinn shaking her in the middle of the night. Her grasp on her arm startled her. It was him. She began to shake and cry. She felt sick to her stomach.
"San, honey, it's just me." Quinn said, surprised at her reaction.
"I thought you were someone else." She replied.
"Sweetie, you're bleeding." Quinn told her. She turned on the light and looked down to see a red stain on the sheets and on her shorts.
They drove to the hospital. Quinn cried most of the way while Santana stared out the window. They were put in a room and were told to wait it out. The baby would be out soon. Quinn cried onto Santana's lap. Santana just had a numb expression. She couldn't even process what was happening all she knew was that the baby was gone.
Once the process was over, she was allowed to leave. Santana lied on her bed and stared at the ceiling. Quinn was crying so hard she shook the bed. It broke her heart to see Quinn cry.
"I'm sorry Quinn. I'm so so sorry. This was all my fault." Her voice cracked.
Santana was blaming herself. Quinn didn't want that. It suddenly dawned on her. The panic attacks, the nightmares, the lack of emotions and her change. Santana was having flashbacks. She had been so stressed and worried. Santana had turned into a ball of anxiety and stress. Quinn cursed inwardly. Santana hadn't even wanted the baby. She was the one that pressure her into carrying. She had put her wants and needs in front of her wife. Santana had just wanted to please her and said yes. When she got pregnant, the anxiety and stress returned and she started to have flashbacks. Quinn did nothing to help her out. Santana was left to deal with it all alone. Quinn felt bad. She hadn't been a good wife to Santana. She had been a horrible person to her.
"No, I'm sorry. I wasn't there for you. You had to deal with this all alone. You were stressed and you're anxiety was out of control. I shouldn't have pushed you into it. You weren't ready." She replied and hugged Santana. She rubbed Santana's shoulder. She tensed under Quinn's touch, but relaxed when she reminded herself that it was just Quinn.
"You were so stressed. You should of told me. I could of helped."
"I just didn't want to burst your bubble. I was having a hard time adjusting, but I thought I could ride it out. I guess I couldn't."
"Listen San, your health is more important than my happiness. We could have done something to accommodate you and make it easier. Next time, tell me when you're not okay with something. I want you to feel comfortable." Quinn kissed her cheek. They went to sleep. That night, Santana didn't have a nightmare. Her anxiety and stressed stopped. Maybe she wasn't ready to carry just yet, but one day she would be and she was looking forward to that day.

Hey guys! How's it going? Well, the part I posted 4 days ago was actually for my other story called Raising Beth. Sorry for the confusion.
~LintheskywithDiamonds 💎🌟💫