The Patient's Promise© (Camren)

Please Read.

I'm currently 19 years old. I've NEVER felt proud or comfortable for being black. Where I grew up, all of my friends where Caucasian and I kind of didn't understand as I child why I was treated differently or why my mom taught us to have such thick skin about certain comments.

I didn't get it.

The older I got the more I started to stray away from people of my same skin tone. I wanted honestly nothing to do with anyone who looked like me. It got to a point where my family had to sit me down and explain to me that I shouldn't have to be ashamed of the color of my skin. I listened but I didn't hear them.

In the reality we live in, lighter is better.

Growing up the only representation of a successful black girl I had was Raven. That's literally all I had until Fifth Harmony was formed.

Dude, when I saw Normani the first time. I fucking cried. This girl was literally the same age as me and living out her dreams just like I wanted to. I finally had that strong-minded, independent, boss ass black woman that I needed to know that it's fucking okay.

Imagine how hard that is for her. She has her whole fucking entire life under a microscope---they all do. The crazy thing is because of the hate comments and racial slurs this girl has felt more emotions in the last 72 hours maybe than ever before. And for what? A comment? Her fucking calling her bandmate "cute and quirky" that's what she is! 

I feel like people expect so much from Normani because she is of darker skin than everyone else. They expect more but they always expect negative.

If fucking Lauren called Camila "cute and quirky" you guys would be the first ones to comment "Camren is real" on everything you see!

For all of you who may not be black..Do you know how fucking hard it is to be black in America?

My brother and I have a darker skin than our sisters. For years, I lied and told people that I was mixed or some fucking elaborate lie to make myself look "better" in the eyes of other people. Do you guys know how frustrating it is for me to hear on a daily basis, "Oh, you're pretty..for a black girl." or "You're black but, we consider you as white because of how you are." 

No, just fucking stop.

Since when does my personality contradict my skin tone.

I've honestly been living a lie for 18 years of my life.

I am black and I'm so fucking proud of that but it's frustrating.

For you guys that don't know I live in Dallas. When that mass police shooting happend, I was no longer allowed to step foot outside without a family memeber. Then when I finally fucking went outside with a friend out to dinner, everyone who wasn't black looked at me like I was the one to blame. I went home and cried to my bestfriend who is not black for hours and she hated it because she couldn't relate to how I was feeling and were literally like the same person.

I can't explain enough upset I am half of the time because of situations like this. 

I'm just tired of all the hate going around towards everyone who has a different color skin.

If people learn to bulid each other up and instead of tearing each other down (especially women, like for fuck sakes) maybe, just fucking maybe America can get it's shit together. Cause we traveled back into the goddamn 60's and at this point the girls are the ONLY people I have to look up to.

To the people who call themselves fans (yes, I mean you OT4 stans and Camilizers or whatever you call yourselves) and all you do is deliberately push the girls into breaking up..either like all five or fucking drop outta the damn fan clubs because it's people like you who ignite the flames and let open a fucking window to let all hell break lose.

I'm sorry if this offended anyone but, I felt like if I didn't voice my opinion I was being a coward. I can't just sit by and let people tear down the ONLY role model that I have and somebody that I care about.