Let's Not Talk About Tomorow

Jake

Bright light filtered into the room through the window, it took a while to blink my vision into focus. Everything hurt, it was effort to lift my head off the pillow. I stared into the corner of the room, suddenly fascinated with the cracks in the bare walls. I thought I was alone and relished at the isolation until someone coughed - Melissa. She gave a warm smile before standing from her chair to place my breakfast beside me.

"Eat" She instructed "You're exhausted, you need to eat" Slowly I eased myself into sitting position. I almost screamed at the overwhelming pain situated in my ass. Reality is a bitch. I was blubbering into my breakfast in record timing. "Jake, it's okay" She said softly, rubbing my back

"It's not okay!" I shouted "HE TOOK MY VIRGINITY! HE RAPED ME!IT'S NOT OKAY! IT WILL NEVER BE OKAY!" I threw my plate across the room, watching it shatter into a million pieces.

"Jake, breathe" I hugged my knees to my chest, burying my face in them as I rocked back and forth. "I'm sorry, okay?"

"Why are you sorry?" I mumbled into my knees

"Because, you're just a kid" She sighed "You should be at home with your mum and dad"

"I don't have a mum, not anymore"

"Oh, Jake. I'm sorry"

"Don't be, my parents died when I was 5 in a car crash"

"But you said your dad was-"

"I'm adopted" I interrupted "I have Papa and Dad"

"Oh" She raked a hand through her hair "You'll be with them again, I promise"

"Don't promise that"

"I'm serious, I don't care if he murders me for helping you escape. You're just a kid, Jake. You deserve to be with your family. I'll help you"

"I don't want you to get hurt"

"Don't worry about me" She rooted about in her pocket and pulled out a key ring "I found this in your jeans, thought you might want it"

It was the key ring from my house keys - a picture of me, Papa and Dad. This was before Dad lost his job, before Papa relapsed and before I came to terms with the harshness of reality. I am five in the photo, beaming at my parents, who's eyes are clouded with love. Dad has me in one arm, the other is wrapped protectively around Papa. We look so happy and carefree. I'd do anything to go back in time to that moment; everything was perfect. The image before blurred as my eyes filled with tears, I just wanted to go home. To forget about everything. I just want to be with my parents.

"Thank you" I whispered as I clutched it tightly in my fist "Thank you so much"

"Don't worry about it" She placed a gentle kiss on my forehead "I'm going to get you something to eat"

"Don't, I can't stomach anything right now" I told her

"Okay" She sighed "Shout me if you need anything?"

"I will"

Carefully, I inched myself back into laying position and allowed my tears to flow freely. I was stuck here. There's no way out. This is it. I cried myself to sleep.