Let's Not Talk About Tomorow

Ben

Sleepily, I rubbed circles on the back of Jake's hand as he slept. Jon was curled up on my lap, snoring quietly on my chest. Carefully, I slipped my hand out of Jake's and reached for my phone to check the time. It was 4am and I haven't slept a wink all night. I rested my head on the wall behind me and closed my eyes, attempting to fall asleep.... which lasted about 30 seconds. Jake whimpered and reached out, squirming about slightly. I held his hand again, soothingly rubbing his knuckles.

All of sudden, the room tilted and I had to grip onto the chair to be sure I wouldn't fall out of it. An agonizing pain pulsated in my head and then it was gone. It happened so quickly it took a moment to convince myself it had actually happened.

"Benny?"

"Huh? Oh, hello, baby" I rubbed my head and pressed a kiss to Jon's forehead "Why are you awake?"

"You nearly dropped me" He pointed out as he shifted on my lap to make himself more comfortable "Benny, you know I'm a light sleeper"

"I know, baby" I sighed "I'm sorry"

"Did you just fall asleep or something?

"Yeah... that's right"

"Benny, go to sleep" He said gently "The bags under your eyes would cost more than 5p, just saying"

"Don't you think I'm trying, baby? This chair isn't exactly comfortable"

"Sleep with Jake in his bed"

"There's not enough room"

"Ben, just do it"

"What about you?"

"I'll be fine"

"No, baby, you come before me"

"Benny-"

"Go to sleep"

"Be-"

"I said go to sleep"

"You're not going to let me win, are you?"

"Nope, who do you think I am?"

"The most competitive person on earth" He rolled his eyes "Try and sleep, okay?"

Jon fell asleep almost straight away, I wish I could. Jake was whimpering as he tossed and turned, keeping my hand close to his chest. He must be having a bad dream. I squeezed his hand, hoping to influence his dream in a comforting way. He shot up.

"Jake?" I whispered "Jake, are you alright?"

"It was just a dream" He muttered "Just a dream"

"Jake?"

"Dad, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to wake you"

"Hey, I was never asleep" I stood up, just to stretch my legs and perched on the end of his bed, Jon was still carefully nestled on my lap "Nightmare?" He nodded and shuffled to sit beside me, resting his head on my shoulder. "Tell me about it"

"Dad, you get enough of this" Jake sighed, indicating to Jon "I'm fine"

"Uh huh, did you know that I've dealt with one man in particular for....24 years who always thought he could fob me off with an 'I'm fine'? I'm quite the expert these days"

"You've known Papa for 24 years?"

"Yep" I grinned

"Dad.... can I ask you something?"

"Of course you can"

"Do you ever wonder what things would be like if everything was normal?"

"Care to elaborate?"