Let's Not Talk About Tomorow

Jake

The house was empty, or so I thought. I kicked off my shoes as usual, knowing full well Dad would nag me about it later. Oh well. As I dumped my school bag in my room, I swore I could hear running water. Dad was at chemo.... and Papa was with him, right? I knocked on the bathroom door, no reply. I hesitated, who else would be in there?

Against my better judgement, I opened the door. My blood ran cold, I felt myself go lightheaded at the sight before me. Dark red water spilled all over the floor, overflowing the tub. Dizzily, I sloshed my way through the water and collapsed before the bath. Papa was lying in it, his wrists gushing a waterfall of crimson. His body was so, so pale. Too pale. His lips were faded, like Dad's. I caught sight of the razor blade clutched loosely in his fist. I went to grab it but as I touched his skin, it tumbled into the watery depths of the tub.

I scrambled for my phone but it slipped from my wet fingers and splashed into the tub too. Desperately, I grabbed Papa's shoulders and shook him. He wasn't dead. He wasn't dead. He wasn't dead. He wasn't dead. He wasn't dead. He wasn't dead. He wasn't dead. He wasn't dead. He wasn't dead. He wasn't dead. He wasn't dead. He wasn't dead. He wasn't dead. He wasn't dead. I wouldn't let him be dead! No!

A piece of paper was carefully placed on the edge of the sink. It's folds were extremely precise but the paper looked old. Too old. Shakily, I opened it up.

To Jake

This is for you, you're the only person who'll find it-

No, no, no, no, no-

This was her note. Why was it here?! Why would Papa be so cruel and leave it for me to find? How did he even know where it was? I had to get out of here. As I ran out of the room, I crashed into something or more accurately, someone.

Oh god. No! No! It was her! No!

"J-Jake" She croaked, tears dripped onto the floor. No. No.

"No!" I cried "No! Why are you here?! No!"

"Let me down" She rasped "Please, it hurts" Panicked, I tugged on her legs. A loud snap bounced around the room. Her body went limp in my arms as she dangled lifelessly from the noose. I screamed for help, for anyone. This was not happening-

Panting, I tried to get my breath back. I had woken myself up by screaming. Cold sweat drenched my body. I wriggled out of my twisted sheets and darted out of my room and burst into my parents room. Dad and Papa were cuddling as they snoozed peacefully in each others arms. Hyperventilating, I shook Papa awake. He's alive. He's alive. I need him to be alive!

"Jake?" He mumbled sleepily "What is it?" I threw my arms around him and sobbed with relief "Jake, are you alright?" I shook my head.

"P-Papa, I h-had a b-bad d-dream and you s-slit your w-wrists a-and my s-sister was there t-too and I k-killed h-her a-and-" Guilt flashed upon Papa's face. He untangled himself from Dad and sat up. Thankfully, he was wearing a pair of Dad's boxers. Believe me, there is nothing more awkward than walking in on your dad wearing nothing but a pair of sexy women's underwear.

"Shhhh" He pulled me down onto the bed and cradled my head to his chest "Just breath, okay?"

"O-okay" He combed his fingers through the braids in my hair that I hadn't bothered to take out. "It f-felt s-so real, Papa" I said shakily

"I know" He sighed "I know what that's like" Suddenly an arm snaked around Papa's waist and Dad shuffled closer to him, burying his face in Papa's back "Your dad has been super clingy in his sleep recently, he seems to know where I am at all times" Papa explained "So, tell me about your dream"

I explained what happened to the finest detail. Papa rocked me gently in his arms, kissing my forehead and combing through my hair. Dad whimpered in his sleep and shuffled even closer to Papa.

"Is Dad okay?" I asked worriedly, his breathing increased as he choked out little sobs.

"H's probably having a bad dream too. He's being dreaming about his parents a lot recently, I think because he's only just starting talking to me about how he feels about things that it's finally hit him that his parents aren't here anymore" Papa stroked Dad's thigh as it was just about the only part of his body that he could reach.

"How did his parents die?" I inquired, curiosity getting the better of me.

"His dad was in a car crash and his mum got shot..." His voice wavered slightly at the mention of Dad's mum. "His mum got shot by my mum, Jake" He admitted "She was going to shoot me but I ducked and.... she was there"

"Your mum was going to shoot you?!"

"Jake, my mum's messed up, alright? She's supposed to be sanctioned in a mental institution but I know she isn't, I just know she's out there somewhere and that scares me"

"Dad told me she abused you" I said quietly, not wanting to upset him

"She used to whip me with a belt" He mumbled "And tell me how worthless and useless I was. It was her messed up way of telling me she loved me. I believed everything she said because she was mum and she was supposed to know me better then anyone else. She completely destroyed me, Jake. Any self-esteem and confidence I had was gone. I never thought I could hate myself so much. Even though she has no control over me anymore, it feels like she does and I hate feeling like that-"

Papa was abruptly interrupted by Dad screaming something inaudible in his sleep.

"Hold on" Papa let go of me and clambered on top of Dad, shaking his shoulders "Ben! Wake up!"

"W-what?" He muttered groggily, rubbing his eyes. He paused and pulled Papa down, holding him tightly, his shoulders shaking "I love you"

"I love you too. Did you have a bad dream?" Papa pulled back enough to give him a kiss

"Yeah but I don't want to talk about it" I scrunched up my face as Dad grabbed two handfuls of Papa's ass.

"Ben, Jake's right there" Papa flushed "He had a nightmare"

"Oh" Dad hurriedly let go of Papa and sat up, pulling him onto his lap "Are you okay?" He asked me, fondly ruffling my hair.

"I've been better"

"Do you want to talk about it?" I shook my head and fiddled with my pyjama bottoms "C'mere" I crawled up over to him. He pulled me into a one-armed hug, kissing my cheek "I love you"

"I love you too"

"Do you want to sleep here tonight?" Dad asked softly

"Can I?!" I asked excitedly

 "Sure"