Let's Not Talk About Tomorow

Ben

Sighing, I fiddled with Jon's hair as he snored quietly on my chest. I suggested we have a movie night and a couple of snacks, although I had to limit Jon with snacks because he usually ate chocolate until he was sick. I even offered to sit and watch his favourite movies, which were generally Disney. Yet here he was, fast asleep and we're only 1 and a half movies down. I kissed his forehead and slid my cold hand up the back of his jumper, resting it on his warm back. His eyelashes fluttered as he stirred.

"Cold" He muttered sleepily "You're cold, Benny"

"Sorry, princess" I slid my hands to his stomach, he giggled weakly "Princess, could I ask you something?" I stroked his scars, he winced "What, baby?"

"Tummy hurts" He mumbled "Hurts really bad"

"Hungry?" I asked hopefully

"Dunno" He shrugged

"Anyway, can I ask you something?"

"Sure, Benny" He rested his chin on my chest and looked into my eyes

"What did you use to cut?" I asked softly

"Why?" He asked tensely

"Because I want to know?"

"So you can take it away from me?"

"That's the general idea, baby" I sighed "Why would I let you hurt yourself?"

"I'm not telling you, I need it" He whispered "I need it"

"No you don't" I said firmly "Your skin isn't paper, don't cut it"

"You don't understand" He said raggedly

"You're right, I don't understand. You have the most beautiful skin, why would you want to cut it up? You're so, so beautiful, Jon, I hate seeing you do this to yourself"

"Benny" He sighed "I just feel so dirty and bad and the only way to get rid of that feeling is to wash away the bad blood inside me"

"You don't have any bad blood" I assured him "Princess, please tell me what you used. I just want to help you"

"Sharpener" He mumbled so quietly, I had to ask him to repeat what he said.

"A sharpener?! Please tell me it wasn't one of mine"

"Who else would it belong to?"

"Jon! Do you even know how many kids touch those freaking sharpeners?! That's not sterile! No wonder your stomach hurts, it's probably infected!" I moved so he was lying beneath me as I sat astirde his legs and pulled up his jumper. I had never taken much notice of the red, swelling that had formed on his cuts before. "You idiot" I muttered. "Oh, princess, don't cry" His face was screwed up as as tear slipped out of the corner of his eye.

"Stop being so mean" He sniffled "I didn't mean for this to happen"

"I'm taking you to the hospital" I told him "Right now" I added

As expected, Jon did everything he could to avoid going to the hospital. He threw a fit, screamed a load of abuse, threw things across the room and cried uncontrollably. I picked him up and strapped him into the car, eventually he stopped trying to escape and slumped down in his seat. I tucked my hand in between his legs and squeezed his thigh reassuringly, he laced his fingers through mine and didn't let go despite me trying to escape his clutches so I could change gear.

"Baby, I need to change the gear"

"Fine" He scowled as he let go of me "You won't leave me by myself in there, will you?"