Let's Not Talk About Tomorow

Jon

"Are you sure you'll be okay?" Ben asked softly, kissing me and stroking my cheek.

"You don't trust me, do you?" I muttered

"I do, I trust that you'll come home. I know you'll come home but I just want to make sure you'll be okay, will you?"

"Yes, I hope. I'll call you if I need to. I promise"

"Good" He smiled "I love you, have fun"

"I'll try" I rolled my eyes,standing on my tip-toes to kiss him again "I love you too"

Ben stood at the door, leaning against it's frame as he watched me walk into the street. He grinned and yelled at me to 'get running!', to which I politely smiled before sticking up my middle finger. He laughed and finally went inside.

I began to run, expecting to feel lighter and cleaner and better but alas, there was nothing. I just felt stupid and self-conscious. What the hell was Ben talking about? Ridiculously quickly, I got out of breath and a pain in my side became more and more present until I had to stop, bend over and breathe heavily through my nose. My skin itched, desperate to feel the cool blade. Clenching my fists, I sprinted down the rest of the street and into the field before me. I ran and ran and ran. I needed to escape from myself.

What felt like hours later, I slumped against a lone tree. I had no idea where I was. I had no idea how to get home. My throat was so parched. I couldn't even produce saliva anymore. I was drenched in sweat, my hair was plastered to my forehead. For a while, I sat and watched people that walked past. The occasional dog walker or group of children. My phone erupted in my shorts pocket. I tug it out, already knowing who it was, no one else called me anymore. No one else wanted to know me anymore.

"I thought you trusted me" I giggled

"I do, princess. But have you seen the time?"

"Benny, I'm sorry. I got a really bad craving so I just ran.... and now I'm lost"

"Of course you are" He sighed "You haven't been outside by yourself for years. Describe where you are"

"Uh... a field?"

"Are you near a road? Can you hear cars?"

"No"

"Are there any people? Wait, why am I asking? Look on Google Maps, for Christ's sake! Text me your location"

"Benny, I don't have data"

"How?"

"I don't know!" I cried, my face crumpling. I was going to be stuck here forever!

"Baby, don't cry. I'll find you. I promise. Stay on the phone"

But he was taking so long and it was getting dark and I didn't know what to do and-

Was that him?

No-

It can't be-

But, his voice-

"Baby, I'm here. I'm here" I could his voice down the line but I could also see his lips moving to form each word. I broke down, sobbing as I threw myself at him."You're like a block of ice" He commented, his hot breath tickled my ear. His body was so warm. I felt him place little kisses all over me. "I love you" He murmured over and over in my ear until my breathing was even. Once we reached the car, he put the heating up to full and sat me on his lap, his large hands rubbed my thighs. "I'm so proud of you"

"Why?" I mumble

"Because you didn't sneak back home to cut, you ran instead. Do you still want to cut?"

"No. I just want you" I ran my hand down his chest. He clutched my wandering hand

"No"

"But-"

"Baby, I said no"

"Stop touching my inner thighs then" I huffed, tugging down my top to hide my arousal.