Let's Not Talk About Tomorow

Jake

I heard a quiet rumble of voices outside my door. It soundedsuspiciously like Dad and Papa, arguing about me. I sighed andflopped back against my pillow, fiddling with one of my bandages. I'donly be given a private room because there was a high risk ofdisfiguring scarring and the doctors respected the privacy I neededfor that moment. What would I even look like when the bandagesfinally come off? Would I be able to hide it? Luckily, only the leftside of my face would be affected, maybe I could grow a fringe? Iwonder how Gabrielle would react? What would I even tell her?Suddenly the door opened, I startled slightly.

Papa had dried tear tracks streaking his face, the second we made eyecontact, he burst into fresh flood of tears, burying his face inDad's chest.

"B-Ben, I c-can't!" He cried "L-look at h-him!"

"Baby, it' okay. He's okay, right, Jake?" Dad looked over at meor reassurance

"I'm okay" I smiled weakly "Papa, c'mere" He shook his headand clung to Dad, sobbing.

"Baby, listen to him" Dad tried to prise his arms off him "Gotalk to him, now" Papa mumbled something inaudible into Dad'schest. "What did you say, baby?"

"Doesn't matter" He muttered, finally releasing Dad to cautiouslyapproach me. Shakily, he reached out to softly touch my bandagedhand, his fingers danced their way up my arm and over my shoulder.Fingertips drifting across my chest until he eventually stroked thebandages on my face. The bed creaked slightly as Dad sat down at theend, smiling at me.

"Princess, you don't look great. Are you okay?" Dad askedworriedly, Papa had turned a few shades paler in the past moment.Papa shook his head slowly. "What's wrong, baby?"

"Do you know what Ive just realised?" He said sadly

"What?" Dad's forehead knitted together

"I am just like my mother"

I have never ever met Dad's family or Papa's mum before. I knew thatDad's parents passed away a while ago, along with his grandparentsnot long after. He had lost contact with his sister before I evenknew they existed and apparently he never speaks to his mum's side ofthe family, never has and never will. I've met Papa's endless amountof siblings and his dad but never his mum. She hadn't tradgicallypassed away before I was born. She was a complete psycho, I soon cameto realise that not all the marks on Papa's body were from himself,he used to be abused my his mum on the regular. Dad made me swear notto talk to him about it.

"What?! No! No you are not!" Dad yelled, I frowned, Dad nevershouted at Papa straight away it always took a long build up of Papascreaming abuse until he raised his voice even he slightest bit. "Youare nothing like that crazy bitch!"

"Yes I am!" He drew his hand away from me as if I'd burned him"My mum is insane, just like me! She had bursts of violence, justlike me! She can't control herself in those moments and neither canI! The only difference between me and her are that I hurt myself butshe hurt me! Now I've hurt Jake so I'm just as bad! I told you thiswould happen! I told you he would get hurt!"

"This is different!"

"HOW? HOW IS IT DIFFERENT? I HURT HIM BECAUSE HE WAS THERE! ISN'TTHAT EXACTLY WHAT MY MUM DID TO ME?"

"NO! SHE HURT YOU BECAUSE SHE WANTED TO! YOU DIDN'T WANT TO HURTJAKE AND THAT MAKES ALL THE DIFFERENCE! I WILL HELP YOU, I PROMISE! IDON'T CARE WHAT IT TAKES, I WILL GET YOU THE HELP YOU NEED AND THISWILL NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN!"

I grabbed Papa's wrist tightly in my hand, despite my woundsprotesting angrily. Terrified, he tried to escape from my grasp, hisface crumpled as he struggled to loosen my grip. Thankfully, Dadsprang to my rescue and scooped him up so he couldn't run away likewe knew he wanted to.

"You and Jake are going to talk, alright? I'll be outside, ready tocatch you if you try to run away" Dad kissed him softly beforesetting him down on my bed and exiting swiftly. Avoiding all forms ofcommunication, Papa picked at his jumper and huddle into a tightball.

"Papa, I don't hate you"

"You should" He said into his knees "I'm fucking monster, lookat what I did to you"

"Papa, it was my fault-"

"No! That's what you said when your biological dad hit you! Jake,stop blaming yourself for stuff that isn't you fault! It's not yourfault I'm so violent, okay?! It's not your fault I can't controlmyself! It's not your fault!"

"Papa, just shut up" I sighed "Will you come here?" Heshuffled closer until I could reach him properly. I wrapped my armsaround him and buried my head in the crook of his neck. "I loveyou"

"I love you too" He mumbled but his arms remained stiff by hisside "I'm sorry, Jake"

"It's okay, Papa. Just give me a hug, please? If you touch me, younot going to hurt me" Gingerly he put his arms around me. After afew moments, he finally hugged me properly, burying his face in myhair and gripping me tightly.

"Is it true that you could have disfiguring scarring?" Papa askedsoftly, his fingers combed through my hair

"Yeah but I might not, I could grow a fringe"

"That's not the point, Jake. You're probably going to be bulliedbecause of those scars and what are you going to tell people? Whatabout Gabrielle? I've ruined you, Jake!"

"I don't care!"

"That's because you don't know what you're going to look like!"Papa pointed out "You're going to hate me! I'd rather get it out ofthe way"

"I'm sure Gabrielle won't care too much and who gives a crap abouteveryone else?" I kissed him on the corner of his mouth, thinkingit'd be too weird to kiss him properly.

"Too old to give your old man a proper kiss?" He sighed. I smiledand pecked him on the lips.

"There you go and for the record, you're the mum and you know it sodon't go pulling the 'old man' card" I grinned

"Shut up" He laughed, elbowing me playfully.

The door opened and Dad stepped inside, smiling widely. He sat downbeside Papa and kissed him before turning his attention to me.

"Give me a cuddle" Dad pouted to Papa "I missed you"

"But you saw me 2 minutes ago" Papa frowned

"So?" Papa rolled his eyes and climbed onto his lap, burying hisface in Dad's shoulder "Pass me your phone" he mouthed to me,holding out his hand. Reluctantly, I passed it to him.

Hurriedly, he unlocked it and started typing on Notes. I kept acautious eye on him, there were a couple of things on my phone Ididn't particularly want him to see. Like Gabrielle's- never mind. Hepassed my phone back to me and started to kiss Papa to keep himdistracted for longer.

Papa hasn't taken his medication since I've been sick, that's whyhe lost control. Will you make sure he takes it if I'm ill? I don'twant anything like this to happen again.

Sure, I'll keep an eye on him.

Dad mouthed a thank you and kissed Papa's forehead.

"Dad, are you better now?" I asked hesitantly.

"Sure am" He smiled

"Really?!" Papa gasped "Yay!" He squealed kissing Dadexcitedly. Dad chuckled and nuzzled into him "Like permanently?!"

"Not permanently, baby" He sighed. Papa's face fell "I'm sorry,baby"

"It's okay" He mumbled "I love you" Resting his head againstDad's chest

"I love you too" Dad threaded his fingers through his hair andlooked over at me "You okay?"

 "Yeah" I smiled a little too enthusiastically