Silence- Adopted by Demi Lovato

Timberline Knolls.

CHAPTER 81

Demi's POV 

              I woke up to Natalie shaking me, "What happened?" I mumbled drowsily. She smiled, "You need to change into the escalade for an interview about Timberline Knolls. They need you in twenty so hurry up." My heart started to beat faster and I nodded, "Sure." Natalie's also my counselor, and can read me better than anyone. So she had no trouble seeing the fear plastered on my face. "Hey, It's okay Demi. It's gonna be okay." I sighed, and nodded. It's going to be fine. 

~*~

                "We, are on our way to a treatment center that I went to a year ago. The first time that I walked into Timberline Knolls and I sat there to eat my first meal, and it was like, chicken, vegetables and milk. I took like, three bites of the chicken and was like, 'Okay I'm done." And they were like, 'Uhm, no you're not. You're gonna finish that.' And I was just like, 'Uhm No. I'm done.' They just stood there and were like, 'Okay.. We've got a stubborn one.' That's when I realized that maybe, I do need this place. Cause I can't even finish a meal. " I explained to the camera's as they filmed me. Mac and Natalie sat in the back-back seat, quietly looking out of the window. The producer gave me another prompt, to speak about addiction, and I nodded. "An addiction is an obsession, it takes over your mind and your every thought.. You think that you can't live without it. For me, it was not eating, and purging... and self-harming. It was really difficult to be able to stop... I didn't think that I had a problem. I knew that I was losing weight, I knew that what I was going was wrong, but I could never admit that I had a problem., because I never thought it was bad enough. You know, 'Oh I don't have a problem because I don't weight... 'X' amount of pounds' Or... 'I'm not doing it this many times a day.' 'I'm not as sick as so and so..' I haven't been in a hospital yet.. I haven't gone to treatment yet.' There's always someone sicker than you." The producer nodded, as we pulled into the driveway of Timberline Knolls. I sighed, and looked at Natalie, "I'm getting like, really nervous." She smiled sympathetically as the car stopped. I fixed my hair and put my hat on, then got out. 

                  As we walked into the lobby, a line of people who I recognized as my doctors, stood there. I smiled and gave them all a huge smile, "Hi! How are you guys?!" The all laughed and hugged me. My old therapist, Miss Andrea, took my arm. I hugged her tightly as tears came to my eyes. this woman is my rock. She's the reason I made the decision to become serious about my recovery. she's the only one who could get through to me while I was here. Andrea pulled back from the hug, her kind face crinkled when she smiled, and took my face in her hands. "Let me look at you properly dearie." She said in her slight English accent. Her smile got bigger, "So beautiful! And full of life!" She wiped away a tear that had fallen down her cheek. "Andrea stop crying! This is supposed to be happy!" She hugged me again, "Tears of joy my child. They're tears of joy. 

~*~

               I walked into the room where we had group therapy and immediately froze. This was the room that I had broke down in so many times. I had let my emotions drain out of me as I poured my heart out to these walls. This room held a lot of heavy dark secrets, just being in here I felt vulnerable. Someone cleared their throat behind me and I realized I was blocking the others from coming in and setting up the cameras. "Oh, sorry." I muttered, and moved aside for the tech guys to get through. Mac and Natalie brought up the rear. I had been debating on bringing Mac here, but she's the only thing that could keep my anxiety in check. If I felt too stressed I would take her from Natalie and just hold her for a minute. Which was exactly what I did as the producers and roadies set up the lighting and recording equipment. Mac had her legs around my waist and her arms around my neck while I held her tightly, buried into my neck. I stroked her back and felt her heartbeat begin to calm me. It seemed like seconds had passed, and they were finished setting up, waiting for me. I groaned and handed Mac to Natalie. Shuffling over to where they told me to sit, near the fireplace.