Sh*tpost: Gene Why

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Gene: When I saw him walking down the street,

Gene: He looked so fine I just had to speak.

Gene: I asked his name, but he turned away.

Zane: *walking away*

Gene: As he walked, all that I could say was--

Gene: Mmm mmm yeah yeah~! Mmm mmm yeah yeah~!

~~~~

Zane: *has popcorn* I'm here!

Gene: That's great, now sit your ass down...

Zane: *sits down next to Gene*

Gene: *turns on Netflix*

Zane: ..... Where's the chill?

Gene: Huh?

Zane: You said we were going to watch Netflix and chill.

Zane: The screen just says Netflix.

Gene: .....

Gene: Just kiss me already--

~~~~

Ein: Beat Zane's ass.

Gene: Ay!

Ein: Make him eat the grass.

Gene: Ay!

Ein: Use your dick to wreck Zane's ass.

Gene: Gay!

Gene: Gay... gay, gay--

~~~~

Ivan: So I was browsing around social media, and guess what I found.

Gene: What?

Ivan: Zane. Nudes.

Gene: .....

Gene: How much--

~~~~

Zane: Gene can you teach me how to twerk?

Gene: ........

Gene: *throws all of Zane's electronics out the window*

Gene: No more cellphone, no more TV, no more computers--

Gene: *slams book down*

Gene: You're reading books from now on--

~~~~

Zane: If you had to use one nickname to call me, what would it be?

Gene: I have a lot.

Zane: Hit me with your best shots.

Gene: Husbando, Kitty, Cupcake, Chīsai, Cinnamon Roll, Angel, Goth, Emo, Koala, Sweater, and-- I should thank Blaze for this one-- Scarfy.

Zane: That's all?

Gene: Plus Cutie, Pompom, Hot, and-- *insert all inappropriate names and all that stuff*

Garroth: *hears from a mile away*

~~~~

Zane: I really want to burp.

Gene: Then burp.

Zane: I'm not full so I can't.

Laurance: Full?

Gene: Of c--

~~~~

Gene: I can't let you do this.

Gene: You're too young.

Gene: You're too beautiful.

Zane: Eh?

Gene: *locks Zane in his closet*

~~~~

Gene: KITTY!!!!!!!!

Zane: *runs out* Yes!?

Gene: Meow.

Zane: *confused innocent meowing*

~~~~

Sasha: What if Gene was a model for teenage magazines?

Zenix: We're all going to hell.

Sasha: Where you going?

Zenix: To fuck Dante.

Zane: *thinking about a model Gene*

Zane: Mm..... eh....

Gene: *thinking about a model Zane*

Gene: You'd make a great pornstar--

~~~~

Zane: Gene why are you in my bed?

Gene: I got scared.

Zane: Of what?

Gene: The empty spot that was next to me.

~~~~

Zane: Kawaii~chan is dead!!!

Gene: Good, now I can put my scheme in action...

Dante: Gene.

Gene: I said that out loud didn't I?

Dante: Yes.

Zane: *horrified*

~~~~

Zane: This place only has yellow sprinkled cupcakes.....

Gene: *through the monitor* Nice butt!

Zane: GO AWAY--

~~~~

You: So Zane, why did Garroth send you here?

Zane: Oh well you see me and Gene got really really drunk at a bar one night and somehow I was actually able to drive home.

You: Uh-huh...

Zane: And then Gene carried me to my bed and he crawled on top of me before we went under the sheets.

You: Zane--

Zane: And then we got really gay and nasty under the sheets I think the whole world heard us...

Irene: Yeah I can hear you from my Dimension.

You: *confused screaming*

~~~~

Gene: Sleep with me.

Zane: Not tonight--

Gene: FUCKER I WILL KILL YOUR FAMILY.

Gene: Sleep. With. Me.

~~~~

Gene: *walks into the break room*

Zane: *pretending to be asleep in a compromising position in a chair*

Gene: *turns red*

Gene: *looks down at his crotch*

Gene: Get the fuck down--

~~~~

Gene: Who's your daddy?

Zane: Garte Ro'Meave--

Gene: No, no, no not that kind of daddy.

Zane: What other kind is there?

~~~~

Gene: Zane open this bathroom door.

Zane: No, go away, you big wienie! WIENIE!!!!

Gene: ..... Wienie....?

Gene: NO ONE CALLS ME A WIENIE!!!

Zane: But I called you a big wienie--

~~~~

Gene: Ha ha ha ha.

Gene: *breaks bottle*

Gene: *drops it*

Gene: Zane, baby I love you and I'm sorry I make you question your life choices.

Zane: You better be.

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