His Bright Eyes (Septiplier)

The True Feelings

-Mark's POV-

You're falling in love with him.

The words felt like stones rolling around in the back of my brain. Shaking my head in denial did nothing but make the stones bang against my skull even harder.

Sleep never really happened after last night. My body was exhausted, but my mind would not let me drift off. I knew why my soul aches now. That the twisted feeling inside my chest was for him.

His slender and delicate fingers held onto my heart, and he didn't have a clue. And worse still, he would have no desire to have it even if he did know.

It was easier thinking that I needed to get back to the doctor for a check up. Or that the burning in the top of my ribs was from eating too fast.

And still...

I didn't realize how much I missed this feeling. How it made the sun brighter and wanted me to hum along to silly love songs on the radio.

I needed to do something important for him. Even if he never knew how I truly felt, but what?

Glancing at my window I saw that it was gradually getting lighter in the sky. Had I really been laying in bed for so long, just trying to figure things out?

I heard Chica yawn and a few moments later, felt a familiar cold nose on my arm.

"Good morning, Chica Bica," I said quietly, "I bet that you are ready for breakfast."

Getting up and pulling on a pair of socks and dark green tank top, I adjusted my jogging pants slightly, and began to head down the hallway to the stairs. Jack's room was still closed, but I could hear the faint sound of what sounded like talking. He must be editing his next YouTube videos. Not wanting to disturb I tried to make my footsteps as soft as possible.

After getting Chica fed and spending a while on Twitter and Facebook, I looked at the time. Was Jack still working? I headed back upstairs and turned the doorknob to the guest bedroom. It opened with a click.

Inside was Jack, laying down in bed, clearly asleep. His laptop was opened next to him, playing one of my videos.

He took the time to watch my videos?

Headphones on, and his right hand laying on the keyboard, I walked over to him and as gently as I could removed the headphones off of his ears. He grunted slightly, but didn't wake up. Then I paused the video, turned off his laptop and moved it away from the bed.

I watched him for a moment. His chest rising and falling with each soft snore. It didn't look like he was going to be awake until later in the afternoon.

Maybe he couldn't sleep either.

I needed to do something important for him. Even if he never knew how I truly felt, but what?

Then, the answer came to me in a flash. I just needed to get a few things from the store first.

***

Uh oh.

The smoke detector is going off in the kitchen and I have no way of stopping it quickly.

Son of a bitch.

Chica was barking madly at the blaring sound as I race around looking for a ladder to reach it and remove the battery.

I heard fast footsteps coming from the staircase, and all hope of my surprise was lost.

Jack looked like he literally had jumped out of the bed and came to rescue me. His big blue eyes bloodshot. His five o'clock shadow heavy on his face, and his bright green hair like it had lost a battle with a light socket.

"What happen'd?" He squeaked, his accent thicker than usual. "Who's on fire?"

I got the alarm to stop blaring, and then sighed sadly, looking over at the small pile of burning meat in the frying pan on the stove.

Me: The only casualty was lunch.

He looked at me, and then at the smoky food.

Jack: Do I want to know what that was?

I ran fingers through my hair and, not wanting to look at him at the moment, answered the question, instead, to the floor.

"Bangers and mash."

I glance back up, knowing that my face was turning bright red, and saw a slow understanding reach him.

Jack: Y-you made me an Irish meal?

Me: More like an failed attempt, but yeah. You have been here for close to a week, and I thought that you might want a more proper home dish.

His face broke out in a teary smile, and walking over to me quickly, hugged me tight. I wanted this hug more than he realized, and I held onto his shoulders much longer than I should, but he didn't pull away.

His breath, coming in small puffs of air, landed softly on the middle of my chest. After last night, I needed more of these hugs. To have him close. To feel his head close to my heart.

He finally backed away, and walked towards the stove to see how much damage I caused. I felt suddenly cold and I rubbed my hands over my shoulders and arms, in a vain attempt to hold the ghost of his touch for a little longer.

"I appreciate you doing this for me," he said grabbing the pan and taking it off of the stove. "If you have some more, I can teach you the ropes. Bangers and mash can be tricky."

I nodded. "I would love a cooking lesson."

We spent the next hour in the kitchen. Jack was incredibly patient with me as I took notes and asked a ton of questions. The meal was amazing. My heartbeat quickening with every smile he gave me, and anytime he laughed at a goofy joke.

But the uneasiness of last night were still with me, like I was lying to him. But if I told him how I felt, I could lose him. Even if he stayed and we tried to remain friends, it would never be the same.

I couldn't risk that.

The longing for him will break my heart, but not having him in my life at all would shatter it all together.

I needed more time to think. To figure out if there was even a chance that he may feel the same way. He looked at me, his blue eyes narrowed in slight concern.

Jack: You look like you have a lot on your mind. Want to talk about it?

I paused.

"Yes, I do. Not right now, but very soon."

He nodded slowly, and thankfully did not ask me anything else about it. He reached out his hand, placed it carefully on my shoulder and gave it a gentle squeeze.  Then he walked out of the kitchen.

I heard his footsteps as they traveled away from me, up the stairs and then gone completely. It was only when I heard his door close that I felt like it was ok to finally cry.

I wasn't even sure if the tears were happy or sad. I just needed to be there, alone and cry until I knew how to tell him.

That I was in love with him.