His Bright Eyes (Septiplier)

The Ruined Conversation

-Jack's POV-

A soft knock came from outside the office door, and looking up there was Mark, wearing black jeans, a dark brown shirt and in his hands, carrying a plate full of cookies.

"Thought that it was about time we shared some of these," he said, putting the plate on the desk. "Last time you kind of left the kitchen in a hurry."

I chuckled, and grabbed one of the cookies from the plate.

Me: You really didn't need to give up your office. I was ok with just filming in the guest bedroom.

He waved his hand at my words like they were pesky flies.

Mark: Nonsense. You needed a larger area than that small room, and besides we have different recording schedules anyway. We will barely bother each other in here, and I promised you that you coming to visit wouldn't change how you work.

I really couldn't argue with him about that, and the office setup was much nicer than crouching on the bed in the guest room for the past few days.

He pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose, and we sat there, chewing for a while.

Mark: So, the other night you asked me if I had something on my mind.

I glanced up, meeting his warm colored eyes.

Me: I did. Were you ready to talk about it?

He breathed deeply, and nodded.

"I think so. Could you meet me outside in the backyard? In about an hour?

"Of course," I said, giving him a look that I hope reflected support.

He nodded again, and taking the now empty plate, left the office.

I turned back to the computer and, my heart beating a bit faster, started looking at emails again.

***

He was already outside when I opened the back patio door, sitting on one of the chairs next to the pool. He gave a small wave when he saw me, and I walked over towards him, and sat down in the chair beside him.

"Thanks for taking time to talk with me," he said, breaking the silence.

I looked up and nodded.

Mark cleared his throat, and staring straight ahead, began to speak again.

"Something has changed in the last few days, and I am not sure how to deal with it. I just feel so different about so much now."

I leaned in closer, not wanting to miss a word.

"The problem is, I just don't want to start off anything in the wrong frame of mind. I have made so many mistakes in the past. I mean, Amy alone forgave me for so much. There were times that we didn't see each other for days. Other things were more important."

He shifted his eyes to me, almost as if he wanted me to read his thoughts, instead of talking out loud. Sliding off his glasses, he and fiddled with them in his hands.

He sighed deeply, and there was silence again. I wasn't sure what to say. Not sure how to help him. Honestly, I was still reeling from the talk with Robin.

"You mean a lot to me Jack," he said finally, looking down at his hands, "I think, that I..."

Then silence again. His face looked at mine, his eyes brimming with tears.

"I can't do this," he said softly. "I'm sorry, Sean. I need more time to figure things out."

My eyes widened in sudden surprise.

"What?" I said, "Are you sure?"

He stood up, his voice shaking "Yes, I just can't talk to you about this yet. I'm sorry."

He walked back towards the house, looking crestfallen.

"Mark!" I called, desperation in my voice.

He continued inside the house, shaking his head.

***
-Mark's POV-

I am nothing but a fucking coward.

The words hurt in my brain, my heart and my soul, but they were true. I couldn't tell him that I loved him. I had to just push my feelings down and just stay friends. I would make up a reason for me wanting to talk. That I was having family problems, or I was stressed out about Youtube.

Anything to make the last minutes outside go away. I was in my bedroom before I realized it, and continuing into the bathroom, I shut the door, and screamed.

Coward. You don't deserve to be happy.