His Bright Eyes (Septiplier)

The Heavy Bones

-Jack's POV-

I barely remember the taxi ride home. My head was still dealing with the conversation with Signe. I opened the door to the house, and closed it as quietly as I could. I didn't want to talk or see anyone right now, including Mark. I felt like I wanted to peel away the last hour, as if it never happened. I had thanked her for talking to me, but now, miles and time passing, I had gotten nothing helpful at all from our conversation. I was as confused as I was before, and in a few key ways, even more questions buzzed around my head.

I walked to the kitchen, and opening the fridge, grabbed a bottle of Jack Daniels from the back of the fridge.

Just a couple of shots. Just to take the edge off.

The shots burned going down, and I drank some water as well, just in case. I put the whiskey back in the fridge and sat down in the living room, wanting to do nothing but just crawl into a small, dark corner away from everyone in the world and stay there until I felt like myself again.

Crying was something I was so tired of doing, and especially about her. How many tears had I wasted on loving her? On hating myself for thinking what I must have done to her? Swallowing hard, I got up off of the couch and headed upstairs. I didn't want to talk to anyone, including Mark, but the thought of staying alone had now began to bother me. Maybe it was the alcohol kicking in.

I passed the office door and looking inside I saw Mark on the computer. His back was turned away from me, and headphones were on. It seemed as if he was editing a video of his, so I didn't bother him. I continued into the bedroom and closed the door.  Laying down on the bed, face up to the ceiling,  I tried again to figure out how I was feeling. The two shots of whiskey churned in my stomach, and I realized too late that drinking anything had been a bad idea.

I heard the door creak open but didn't turn to look. I knew that it was Mark, and even if he wasn't the only other person in the house, I could tell by the sound of his foot falls on the carpet, and the slight smell of his sandalwood aftershave.

I felt the bed sink slightly, and knew he must have sat down. Then, I saw his face hovering above me, eyes full of a mixture of curiosity and concern. I waited for him to ask me what happened with Signe. I was almost bracing myself, but he did nothing more than look at me. I felt my eyes tearing up as he watched me. I wanted him to look away, or for him to move so that I could sit up and escape to a different room. 

The tears were now leaving my eyes and they burned as the fell from my face and running sideways down my cheeks. I was so tired. I hated that I was still crying over her.

"She left me and she doesn't even really know why," I said, my voice barely a whisper. I wasn't even sure if I was saying this to Mark or to myself. He didn't say anything but took his thumb and wiped away a few tears, his eyes looking more concerned.

"I hate her," I said, my throat feeling raw."I hate that she tore my heart apart and she couldn't even tell me why she did it."

Mark laid down beside me and I turned onto my side so that we face each other again. He seemed to be considering what to say to me, his dark honey colored eyes scanning my features as we laid.

"You don't really hate her, Jack," he said pushing strands of hair away from my eyes. "Sometimes," he said slowly, "people just aren't able to give you answers to the questions that you need."

I didn't want to listen to this. I wanted to stay angry at her. It was an emotion that I fully understood. This mix of feelings, of sadness, pity and regret felt so heavy in my bones.

Her face was still so pretty and soft, and part of me, a part that I thought I had buried, still wanted her to be happy. To feel cared for and safe. It wasn't love. That had died a while ago, but still...

"If you want to talk about it," Mark began, almost tentatively, "I'll be in the office. Or I can stay in here with you, if you prefer."

I didn't want to make decisions now. I was so bad at making them. The agreeing to meeting up with her, the thanking her for talking to me, and the whiskey shots angrily stirring in my stomach all seemed like bad choices I had made. I wanted to be left alone to punch walls and throws things. I wanted to be held in Mark's arms until my heart stopped hurting. There were too many conflicting thoughts and feelings for me to be reliable to make any decision.

Mark moved closer to me and kissed me softly. "If it makes any difference, I'm proud of you for you wanting to find closure."

"But I didn't find it," I said bitterly, my eyes looking deeply into his. "I didn't get closure. She didn't do anything but put more doubts and questions in my head about everything."

"She did what she could," he said softly, "Those other questions and doubts are there for you to understand yourself better, babe. Closure isn't always about everything wrapping up nicely in a way that everyone understands."

I felt tears in my eyes again, but I was able to fight them from falling this time. My eyes still looking into his eyes and his face.

"I think I want to be alone for a while," I said softly, and he nodded his head and got out of the bed. He reached off to the side of the bed, and before turning to the door, he placed a small wrapped package on the end table beside me.

"I love you Sean," he said softly, his eyes sparkling with tears now. "I'll be in the office if you need me."

He walked over to the door, and moving slowly out to the hallway, he turned to face me again. "Happy two month anniversary, Bright Eyes."

He smiled softly, and closed the door behind him as he left.

I waited a moment for his footsteps to fade and heard the office door close. The bedroom seemed so much colder now without him here. I hit the pillow in anger, but it did nothing to help. Sitting up again, I looked over to the package on the table, and picked it up. It was wrapped in silver wrapping paper and on top of it a bright blue bow.

I sighed as I opened the package, and after tossing the wrapping paper on the ground, opened the small brown box to find inside a finely carved wooden box. On top of the box was a note in his handwriting.

To my Bright Eyes,
Here's a cozy place to keep your keys so you stop losing them, or to put my heart in when you get tired of carrying it around. Happy anniversary, and I love you.
Love,
Your Bright Eyes

P.S. I hope the song isn't too cheesy, but whenever I hear it I always think of you.

I opened up the box, and "You Are My Sunshine" began to play. I felt my heart surge with a warmth I hadn't felt since before I returned Signe's phone call, and I could feel a smile on my face as I listened to the music encircle my very soul.

The song finished and began to play again, and closing the box and placing it back on the table, I got off of the bed, my bones feeling so much lighter now, and headed to the office, to spend time with the love of my life.